I was watching an old video by Jimmy Snow today where he talks to another exMo and asks him questions about when he left and circumstances surrounding that. And their discussion got me thinking.

I am the eldest in my family of 5 siblings. The one below me is inactive and New Agey, the one after that is an RM attending BYU-I right now, the next eldest is inactive but falls back on belief, and same with my youngest sibling. So within my family unit, there isn't a whole lot of strength of belief. Just one who is zealous about belief.

In my journey, you guys who've been with me since the beginning last August, I am now an anti-theist atheist. I wouldn't say I'm militant but my personal regard for religion is negative and that people could do better without restrictive or repressive faith systems that encourage them to be sheep(like....literally). I don't think it is healthy to not hold yourself accountable for things that happen to you or to try to take responsibility for those things that are just chaos, just life.

You might convince me that Christianity influences people to be good. Fine. I do not believe that Mormonism is a benefit to anyone in any way. It is based on lies and the leadership knows it and it encourages intellectual laziness in it's members. It encourages them to waste time and money on a scam that's almost 200 years old.

I am thinking about coming out as atheist and resigning from the church. I am nervous of other family members coming at me to try to convince me, to bully me. But a lot less scared of it than before. Has this happened to you? Where you progressively stopped caring about what they'll think?

If you feel ready to resign, and it won't harm your family relationships, then go ahead and resign.

IMO it's not necessary to formally announce your atheism. If your belief or involvement with the Mormon church comes up in conversation, I would start out by taking the least intrusive (but true) answer possible, i.e. "It's not for me," "I no longer believe in it," etc. I would avoid questioning your RM brother's beliefs or being assertive about your disdain for the church. Opt in favor of preserving family relationships if you possibly are able to do that. Some people need religion or religious beliefs, and if it doesn't interfere with you, I would let them have that without quibble.

My mother was inactive in the Catholic church for the latter part of her life, but she maintained her beliefs. In time, I grew to find her faith charming. She prayed at night in the privacy of her bedroom for the welfare of her family. She liked to say grace at holiday meals, so my brother and I found non-objectionable ways to accommodate her (i.e. "We are thankful for good food, good health, and the company of our loved ones.") What's not to like about that? Our relationship with believers does not need to be hostile unless they intentionally make it so.

I consider resigning a separate issue. I am one of those of the opinion that it's all phony anyway(what paperwork or background check is going to use my membership in the LDS church as a piece of proof?). I am not a member. They're the ones who have to "fire" me as a representative if it's that important to them. And I've already left them behind, so, they don't need me involved in that process either. For others, it's important to get their name off the record and separate from the church.

I've just been in the closet with my beliefs since I found out the truth. Of course, the same rules apply; I don't want to be proselytized at, so, I'm not going to attempt to convince anyone that they should give anything up. I just have had this mode of operation where I lie to people about my beliefs, pretend that I still believe the same, and I would like to stop. Because I no longer fear the people that I was performing that way for.

And either way I end up revealing the information, it'll feel abrupt because I've been lying for months and have not spoken of my journey to anyone offline. So I'd rather "come out" to my closest family members who I see and talk to every day, in order to control the environment and circumstances of my reveal. And of course, I'll respect their beliefs and whatever they feel. And I'll refrain from being the one to directly tell them about Mormonism. They'll have to do their own research if they wish to know more about it.

Telling family you are atheist may be too much of a shock for them at first. I would keep that quiet and just say in your own words that 'Mormonism does not work for me'. To true believers, coming out as atheist may strain some family relationships. There is no reason for them to know how you regard belief now. At some point, like many of us here, you may find that a simple label does not describe your world view. Good luck.

For my TBM daughter, my being an atheist was easier to take than my finding fault with The Church.

I thank you for the advice but the question will come up, "What do you believe now?" And once I come out, I kinda don't want to continue to lie or hide.

But I do like what you have said and how you framed it. I think I will try to frame it very soft and gentle like that("I no longer believe Mormonism") because I don't want to make it become something that they feel they have to defend or make me defensive. I just want to be honest. It won't change much in how we interact with each other and I'll still be polite and considerate of their beliefs but they'll know where I stand. They'll know me.

And they'll know I don't believe. Hopefully it is something they feel safe coming to me in the future with if they ever explore, research, or have questions. That's my real goal. There's nothing keeping me from being close to my family right now, from my end. The lies are small and rare. But if they see me leave, then they'll see it is possible to do. They can feel safe to doubt and question.