It's not a lie if it was unwitting. But yes, I have thought about that question a lot.
I couldn't locate most of the ones whom I led to the edge of the font. On the one hand it's okay because I doubt any of them stayed around for more than a few months; on the other, it would be a liberating experience for me to track those converts down and apologize. It would mean that I view them as human beings rather than just numbers.
Just a heads up, this is written from a nevermo evangelical perspective. I’ll speak as one who was in the teaching pool for a long time. If I could write to my former missionaries, I’d write...
Dear LDS missionary, It was never your fault that I could not join the LDS church. It wasn’t a lack of faith on your part or those secret sins all of us struggle with. You gave it your very best and taught me well. I could not have been taught better the doctrine of TCoJCoLDS. I couldn’t join because I didn’t need The LDS church in order to possess the promises of God. All I needed was Christ.
I could almost guarantee that the jerk AP struggled with his testimony more than all of you combined. I suspect he wasn’t kind to you.
I hope you will remember me and recognized that I did my best to show you love. I truly learned and grew spiritually by knowing and spending time with you guys. I was sad the day you guys said you couldn’t teach me any longer.
I knew about the lies, but I had to be careful what I said to you. I knew that one day, years later, you would have to confront the lies and how difficult this would be for you. If I could help to ease your burdens, that is what I wanted to do. I still pray for you, even 19 years later.
So, yeah, as a former investigator, I’d like more than anything to hear from the missionaries that taught me around 2002.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/23/2021 10:28PM by kantgomo.