Posted by:
Cold-Dodger
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Date: February 28, 2021 01:46AM
What do I mean?
No one “decides to get baptized” when they’re eight years old. Seven years old, really, since they interview us when we’re secen-turning-eight. No, you’re getting baptized, you little shit, because you’re not embarrassing your parents. If your parents are super anxious that you might not be wanna do it, they’ll probably take away any illusion to a choice that you had. This is just what we do. You don’t get to say no. You’ll receive the ordinance we because we say so and then we’re going to talk about you like you’re a big brained adult kid floating above the rest of your peers and your peers will believe that this is what you wanted and probably not bother you about it.
No one “decides to receive the priesthood.” No, you turned 12, you’re getting the priesthood. That’s what we do. If you don’t, you’re a pariah. You don’t have a choice, especially if your dad is a well-respected Mr. Important Priesthood Man. The bishop is going to interview you, and he’s gonna ask you the M-question, snd you’re either going to say yes and be disciplined and hear your shame or say no which is mostly likely a lie and die slowly inside from guilt. This is just what we do.
No one “decides to go on a mission.” You’re told from the time that you’re knee high that you’re that you wanna go on mission. It is dictated to you as something you have to want to do. You’re going to do it. The young women won’t even look at you if you don’t because they’re taught to want a returned missionary and nothing less. You’re not gonna refuse unless you’re prepared to lose everything you’ve built (or had built for you) within the church culture. You’re going through on a mission. My mother got in my face and threatened to disown me if I came home early, taking away any illusion of a choice I had even though I wanted to go and was in the process of going.
No one “decides to get married in the temple” or “takes out their endowments.” You’ve been keeping it your pants (or at least hating yourself for not) for years, and you’re taught that in order to finally get some, you’ve gotta take her the Lord’s house and kneel across an alter and take her for eternity as she promises to be your goddess bride and mother of your spirit children forever. Just try getting a civil union outside of the temple or having sexual relations beforehand and see what happens. Just try it. Your whole family turns against you, and when they get you to capitulate, they talk about you like you’re some shameful decrepit thing that deserves the shame that’s about to come for next year and really for the rest of your life. You’re going to get married in the temple. It’s what we do. You don’t wanna bring shame to your family. You’ve been singing about temple marriage since you were five fucking years old, before you had any idea what a romantic attraction was. You’re going to do it.
But no one would know how coercive the culture surrounding these rites are if they were just casually listening to how Mormons talk. They can probably infer it if they’re around Mormons a lot. All the language is designed to make it sound like it was all your idea and that you are glad to have done it like there was another option.
This is also why the main apologetic used in defense of the punishing kids of gay couples policy was absolute bullshit and was so outrageous. These aren’t things that some Mormon kids decide they’re ready to do while others decide not to. Everyone gets these rites, because that’s what we do. They’re rites of passage and of acceptance. To deny them to someone who is deep into that culture is psychological warfare. Usually it’s just temporary to control their behavior, but to forbid it indefinitely to whole class of people is cruel as fuck, because you’re basically just saying you expect them to leave and that you won’t be sorry after they’re gone. They’re gonna leave, because you’ve made it intolerable for them otherwise. No one is gonna stick around to be “that kid” who is unordained and never gets to participate in the rites of the church until they’re eighteen but only after they swear a special oath that their parents are sexual deviants that deserve to burn in hell. And the people who stay are going to be scared to the oppose the culture in order to avoid that fate. Bear in mind that excommunications are spiritual beheadings. You’re executing a spiritual criminal for high crimes. It has nothing to do with loving them; it’s about keeping their taint away from the rest of the flock and keeping the flock afraid.
In conclusion, fuck this shit. I am not bound by oaths I swore under undue influence at an age too tender to make legally binding contracts, and I resent the people who took my choices away and then made it sound like I had a choice and I chose the church because I love it. I was never given a choice but to love it, so I loved it even when it tormented me every day. It’s just what we do.