(atheists and scoffers ALLOWED) ~


love it or hate it ~


or just don't give a gott damm ~


what is the best part ? ~


❤️


exmo survey shows ~


here are the exmo choices ~


write-ins are welcome ~


*ʕ•͓͡•ʔ-̫͡-ʕ•̫͡•ʔ*

OK ~

so ~

1) the part where jesus gets his drivers license ~

2) the part when paul and the remaining apostles go on a robbing and killing spree in greece ~

3) the part when lots daughters get him drunk and lay with him ~

4) Ezekiel 35:8 ~ "i will fill your mountains with the dead. your hills, your valleys, and your streams will be filled with people slaughtered by the sword. i will make you desolate forever. your cities will never be rebuilt. then you will know that i am god." ~

5) the part where sampson beats the hell out of a bunch of unbeleafers with a monkey skull ~

6) the part in the garden of eaten where morpheus offers the human the blue pill of blissful ignorance or the red fruit of painful knowledge and the choice they made ~

7) the part where a bunch of ancient hebrews decided to worship a different god and moses had 3000 of them executed just for crowd control ~

8) revelations with all the dark scary apocalyptic imagery ~ revelation 9:6 ~ "and in those days shall men seek death, and shall not find it; and shall desire to die, and death shall flee from them." ~

9) the part where all the unbealeafers get what they deserve ~

10) the genocide and ethnic cleansing and eugenics ~

11) the part where jesus and moses join forces to conquer the romans with weapons of mass destruction and accidentally knock over solomans temple ~

12) that part where eve couldn't resist doing the one thing god told her not to and gave up the easy life and screwed it up for everyone ~

13) Ezekiel 23:20 ~ "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."

OK ~

plz vote ~


thx

The very end where it says, "And they lived happily ever after."

Hahahahaha!

That was good, D&D!

I stole that from the novel, "The Hundred Year Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared." One of the most entertaining books ever written. Ever. Something for everyone!

An old white man impossible not to love.

Since it's on topic--an excerpt:

A typesetter in a Rotterdam suburb had been through a personal crisis. Several years earlier, he had been recruited by Jehovah’s Witnesses but they had thrown him out when he discovered, and questioned rather too loudly, the fact that the congregation had predicted the return of Jesus on no less than fourteen occasions between 1799 and 1980 – and sensationally managed to get it wrong all fourteen times.

Upon which, the typesetter had joined the Pentecostal Church; he liked their teachings about the Last Judgment, he could embrace the idea of God’s final victory over evil, the return of Jesus (without their actually naming a date) and how most of the people from the typesetter’s childhood, including his own father, would burn in hell.

But this new congregation sent him packing too. A whole month’s collections had gone astray while in the care of the typesetter. He had sworn by all that was holy that the disappearance had nothing to do with him. Besides, shouldn’t Christians forgive? And what choice did he have when his car broke down and he needed a new one to keep his job?

As bitter as bile, the typesetter started the layout for that day’s jobs, which ironically happened to consist of printing two thousand bibles! And besides, it was an order from Sweden where as far as the typesetter knew, his father still lived after having abandoned his family when the typesetter was six years old.

With tears in his eyes, the typesetter set the text of chapter upon chapter. When he came to the very last chapter – the Book of Revelation – he just lost it. How could Jesus ever want to come back to Earth? Here where Evil had once and for all conquered Good, so what was the point of anything? And the Bible… It was just a joke!

So it came about that the typesetter with the shattered nerves made a little addition to the very last verse in the very last chapter in the Swedish bible that was just about to be printed. The typesetter didn’t remember much of his father’s tongue, but he could at least recall a nursery rhyme that was well suited in the context. Thus the bible’s last two verses, plus the typesetter’s extra verse, were printed as:

20. He who testifies to these things says, Surely I am coming quickly. Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus! 21. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen. 22. And they all lived happily ever after. (p 198)


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(This is not the main theme of the book--it is about a million things more.) D&D

Done & Done Wrote:
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> I stole that from the novel, "The Hundred Year Old
> Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared."
> One of the most entertaining books ever written.
> Ever. Something for everyone!
>
> An old white man impossible not to love.

Watch the movie for free here:

https://123moviesfun.is/film/the-100-year-old-man-who-climbed-out-the-window-and-disappeared-2001/


Is the movie as good as the book?

Haven't seen the movie. Can't imagine it doing the book justice unless the movie was as long as Angels in America.

Song of Solomon.



ETA: Seriously, people don't like that book? It's actually quite good once you've given up religion and are no longer offended by sensual poetry.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/24/2021 12:05AM by Lot's Wife.

The Book of Ruth, who is "officially" (but known to NOT be historically) regarded as the "first convert" to Judaism.

Actual historical facts aside, Ruth exemplifies the CONCEPT of conversion into Judaism (although, historically, non-Jews had been joining the Jewish people--in other words: "becoming Jews"--since times far earlier than those in which Ruth lived).

The Book of Ruth is the basis, according to Jewish law, on which all converts implicitly base the Jewish legality of their conversions.

The Book of Arnold. Hasa diga Ebowai.

So what happened the very next day when he realized what he had done?
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Jesus swept.

Nice!

Puerile as ever, I propose 1 Samuel 18:25

"Saul replied, "Say to David, 'The king wants no other price for the bride than a hundred Philistine foreskins, to take revenge on his enemies.'"

LOL. The only way to make that even better would be to add a talking donkey.

Priceless! Well, unless it was YOUR foreskin.

I like the way the leather cover on mine smells. Also the front or back cover, because when I see only that, I know the book is closed.

The Book of Ecclesiastes.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ecclesiastes

Elder Berry Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The Book of Ecclesiastes.
>
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ecclesiastes

AMEN! Also my favorite book. Reading it was perhaps my first step toward atheism.

Psalms.

cinda Wrote:
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> Psalms.

Including Psalm 137.9?

Probably the nastiest verse in the bible (speaking to Babylon):

"Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones."

Holy crap !!!

The "BEGATS" get my misogyny award. All of those men having baby men! Miraculous.

Women doing ALL of the work. Men taking ALL of the credit.

Rant over. Carry on.