Date: April 30, 2021 01:35AM
Those of you who know me might know that my husband is an exMormon, and he has two daughters and a former stepson who grew up estranged from him. This is mainly because his ex wife is toxic and legitimately mentally ill, and she has a habit of forcing people close to her into alliances. My husband's younger daughter started talking to him again a few years ago... and BOY has it been interesting.
My husband was married to his ex wife for about ten years. Three years before they divorced, Ex unilaterally decided that she wanted the family to convert to Mormonism. So she and my husband converted, and they were later sealed at the St. Louis temple.
In June 2000, they divorced, having been separated for about nine months prior. My husband had decided to go back into the Army because he was not making enough money working in factories and hated the work. And Ex was doing all she could to keep them in financial ruin.
In 2002, Ex and my husband remarried other people. Ex got her third husband to convert to Mormonism. And my husband and I happily lived a Mormon free lifestyle. That was when Ex started really alienating my husband's daughters, trying hard to get them to bond with her third husband (#3). She quickly got pregnant and, after our one and only visit with the kids in 2003, started laying on the pressure for them to call her husband "Dad". Supposedly, this was because during that one visit, my husband's older daughter was holding her baby sister and pointed to my husband and said, "And that's Dad!" #3 didn't like that my husband's innocent daughter had referred to my husband as his baby daughter's father.
At some point in all this mess-- I want to say maybe around 2006 or so, when it became clear that my husband would not be crawling back to his ex wife, she sent him letters from his daughters that demanded that he let them allow #3 to adopt them. We later found out that the letters had been coerced, but at the time, the girls were so hateful that we wondered if they were really sincere. My husband also formally resigned from the church that year, which Ex also used to alienate his daughters, since they were very devout.
Ex wrote that she and #3 were "working with the bishop" to see if she could get a temple divorce. I knew from reading this forum that if Ex did manage to get close to a temple divorce, my husband would be getting a letter from the church. I also knew that even though he resigned, the church would find him, no matter what. There's a reason why so many Mormons work for the government.
Anyway... we never got the letter, so I figured Ex had decided it was better to be sealed to my husband. I thought maybe she threw it at #3 whenever he needed to be taken down a peg (in her mind, anyway). She has a habit of rubbing her loved ones' noses in things.
The other night, younger daughter told my husband what had actually transpired regarding the cancellation of sealing. Ex and #3 had, in fact, tried for a temple divorce. They were repeatedly denied, even as they appealed all the way to the First Presidency. Evidently, they were denied for a couple of reasons. First-- one or both of them were not temple worthy. Second-- there was a chance my husband could rejoin the church and then his "blessings" would be restored.
And the real kicker is this-- Church officials told Ex that even if they did allow her to be sealed to #3, the children who were sealed to my husband would NOT be sealed to #3. They could only seal his two kids to him. And their youngest child, a son, is severely affected by autism and Mormonism probably doesn't mean much to him, anyway. I don't think they go to church much anymore, unless they need money.
So... I guess Ex decided that it wasn't worth it to jump through all the hoops and be sealed to #3, since he would not be able to claim my husband's kids in the afterlife. The best part about the story is that younger daughter, upon hearing that they would not be sealed to their stepfather said, "Oh! So I can stay sealed to my dad? Good!"
She wasn't speaking to my husband at the time, but it still does his heart good to know that she hadn't forgotten him, as Ex had claimed. It sure has been nice to see my husband develop a bond with one of his daughters. Maybe someday, her sister will come around. Unfortunately, she is still trapped in her mother's home, acting as a slave and taking care of Ex's youngest child, who needs constant supervision.
Sadly... one of the things my husband and his daughter bond over the most is the fact that both of them were badly abused by the Ex. And, as much as I dislike Mormonism, I am grateful that good people in the church were able to help younger daughter escape when we couldn't.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/30/2021 05:24AM by knotheadusc.