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Posted by: pollythinks ( )
Date: May 02, 2021 06:28PM

What ever happened with "knock-knock" jokes?

I'll start: Knock--Knock. Answer: Whose there? "Ida." Ida who? Ida rather not say. (ouch)

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Posted by: Heartless ( )
Date: May 02, 2021 07:09PM

First in mormondom it's three knocks.

Followed by what is wanted.

So..... Hard to make them.

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Posted by: lurking in ( )
Date: May 02, 2021 07:28PM

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Armageddon.

Armageddon who?

Armageddon tired of waiting for the end of the world!

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Posted by: moremany ( )
Date: May 02, 2021 09:41PM

Knock
Knock

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Posted by: moremany ( )
Date: May 03, 2021 11:46AM

I'll ring the doorbell next time.

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Posted by: tumwater ( )
Date: May 03, 2021 01:13AM

When I lived in Montana, the locals had North Dakota jokes.

They were so bad, I purposely erased them from my memory.

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Posted by: JoeSmith666 ( )
Date: May 03, 2021 05:52PM

tumwater Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> When I lived in Montana, the locals had North
> Dakota jokes.
>
> They were so bad, I purposely erased them from my
> memory.

Do you know why the wind comes from the West in North Dakota?

Because Montana Blows and Minnesota Sucks.

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Posted by: Brother Of Jerry ( )
Date: May 03, 2021 06:03PM

It's not true that North Dakota is so flat you can see Montana from there.

You have to stand on a beer can to be able see Montana.


This actually happened:
The project was turned over to the North Dakota Tourism Division, and soon billboards were warning motorist not to go to Montana because that state was closed, not to leave North Dakota because Custer was well when he left, and a few other choice suggestions.


And then there are the Oly and Lena jokes.

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Posted by: lurking in ( )
Date: May 03, 2021 01:33AM

Example:

"Q: How do you get an elephant up a tree?
"A: Plant an acorn. Have the elephant stand on top of where you planted it. Wait 50 years."


First of all, who's going to wait HALF A CENTURY for that to occur. And then, also, even if the elephant lived that long, which I admit is possible, for it stand in one place for FIVE DECADES is, um, unlikely to say the least. There are more problems with this particular elephant joke as well. And believe it or not, I've heard other ones even more absurd than this. So, again, thank you!

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: May 03, 2021 08:39AM

You demonstrate why I didn't include any.

It takes a rare talent to come up with a good elephant joke. Gary Larsen of the now defunct Far Side had one:

He drew an elephant at a piano on a concert stage. The elephant is thinking, "What am I doing here? I can't play this thing--I'm a flautist, for pity's sake!"

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: May 03, 2021 10:11AM

> Gary Larsen of the now
> defunct Far Side ...


Yae olde fogiee! Gary Larsen's Far Side is BACK, baby!!!


https://www.thefarside.com/

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: May 03, 2021 10:25AM

It's a rare artist who acknowledges he's exhausted his material and puts his pen away. Too many cartoonists (or their successors) keep cranking material out. "Garfield," for example. It was funny for a little while, then cute then....blaaaaaaah.

Incidentally, WHRB in Cambridge is doing a Steely Dan "orgy" at this very moment. Available on streaming off their website. Something I think you'd warm to, E.O.D.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: May 03, 2021 10:32AM

So... Are you saying, in the 14 minutes between my post and your response, that you went to the Farside website, cruised through it, and determined that he's now just another hack, in it solely for the money?



Thanks for the notice, in re Steely Dan. But I have evolved.

I am now a Corrs fan.

I thought to myself, 'to which YouTube song of The Corrs shall I offer a link?'

But it's impossible to pick just one . . .

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: May 03, 2021 10:44AM

Vintage Larsen does NOT mean he is--or ever was--a hack. He retired from daily production before that ever occurred. I used Garfield as an example. For my money, Charles Shultz signaled he was running dry when he put Snoopy on two legs.

When Al Capp died, his widow and syndicate brought in others to continue Lil' Abner. It ran for a while, then they retired the strip, acknowledging that it wasn't, and could never be, the same.

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Posted by: loislane ( )
Date: May 08, 2021 12:01PM

How do you get down off an elephant?

You don't get down off an elephant. You get down off a duck.

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Posted by: Finance Clerk ( )
Date: May 11, 2021 02:59PM

No...
They hide pretty good then, don't they?

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Posted by: Gordon B. Stinky ( )
Date: May 03, 2021 03:16AM

A pianist and singer are rehearsing "Autumn Leaves" for a concert and the pianist says: "OK. So, we'll start in G minor and then on the third bar, modulate to B major and go into 5/4. When you get to the bridge, modulate back down to F# minor and alternate a 4/4 bar with a 7/4 bar. On the last A section go into double time and slowly modulate back to G minor."

The singer says: "Wow, I don't think I can remember all of that."

The pianist says: "Should be no problem. It's what you did last time."

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: May 03, 2021 09:48AM


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Posted by: Gordon B. Stinky ( )
Date: May 03, 2021 01:55PM

Haha! Or a John Cougar song. I heard an interview with Mellencamp years ago in which he said he once heard a cover band so badly butcher the intro to I Need a Lover (which was 2.5 minutes long) that he decided to start writing simpler stuff.

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Posted by: thedesertrat1 ( )
Date: May 03, 2021 10:15AM

knock knock
Who's there
butch and jimmy
butch and jimmy who
butch you arms around me and jimmy a little kiss

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: May 03, 2021 10:52AM

Three distinct taps with the mallet.
LORD: What is wanted?
I want to converse with The Lord about a sale.
LORD: Present the sale, and your request shall be granted.
LORD: What is that?
My Mormon soul.
LORD: Has it a name?
It does - Abraham.
LORD: Will you give it to me?
I will, through a 90 percent off sale. You get it when I die and I only have to pay you 10 percent of my time, talents, and everything you give me for being a good Mormon.

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Posted by: Roy G Biv ( )
Date: May 03, 2021 02:24PM

One of my favorites....not intended toward the OP or anyone else.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Watch Tom Hanks in "Catch Me If You Can" for the punchline if you don't know it.

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Posted by: donbagley ( )
Date: May 05, 2021 01:43AM

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Knock, knock
Knock, knock who?
Knock, knock, knockin' on Heaven's door

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Posted by: tractingcookies ( )
Date: May 05, 2021 01:56AM

Hopefully ElderOldCanine can possibly post the “Knock 3 times” music video.
I’ve exposed myself by asking.

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Posted by: moremany ( )
Date: May 09, 2021 03:31PM

I don't know any good mormons

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Posted by: lapsed2 ( )
Date: May 10, 2021 10:42AM

In-person jokes, in general, have all but stopped. They’ve evolved into memes.

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Posted by: Phantom Shadow ( )
Date: May 12, 2021 10:56PM

How about those sick jokes. 1960s? Earlier?

"Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?"

"I don't care who your father is, get down off my telephone pole!"

Many more but I can't remember them now.

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