tumwater Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > When I lived in Montana, the locals had North > Dakota jokes. > > They were so bad, I purposely erased them from my > memory.
Do you know why the wind comes from the West in North Dakota?
It's not true that North Dakota is so flat you can see Montana from there.
You have to stand on a beer can to be able see Montana.
This actually happened: The project was turned over to the North Dakota Tourism Division, and soon billboards were warning motorist not to go to Montana because that state was closed, not to leave North Dakota because Custer was well when he left, and a few other choice suggestions.
"Q: How do you get an elephant up a tree? "A: Plant an acorn. Have the elephant stand on top of where you planted it. Wait 50 years."
First of all, who's going to wait HALF A CENTURY for that to occur. And then, also, even if the elephant lived that long, which I admit is possible, for it stand in one place for FIVE DECADES is, um, unlikely to say the least. There are more problems with this particular elephant joke as well. And believe it or not, I've heard other ones even more absurd than this. So, again, thank you!
It takes a rare talent to come up with a good elephant joke. Gary Larsen of the now defunct Far Side had one:
He drew an elephant at a piano on a concert stage. The elephant is thinking, "What am I doing here? I can't play this thing--I'm a flautist, for pity's sake!"
It's a rare artist who acknowledges he's exhausted his material and puts his pen away. Too many cartoonists (or their successors) keep cranking material out. "Garfield," for example. It was funny for a little while, then cute then....blaaaaaaah.
Incidentally, WHRB in Cambridge is doing a Steely Dan "orgy" at this very moment. Available on streaming off their website. Something I think you'd warm to, E.O.D.
So... Are you saying, in the 14 minutes between my post and your response, that you went to the Farside website, cruised through it, and determined that he's now just another hack, in it solely for the money?
Thanks for the notice, in re Steely Dan. But I have evolved.
I am now a Corrs fan.
I thought to myself, 'to which YouTube song of The Corrs shall I offer a link?'
Vintage Larsen does NOT mean he is--or ever was--a hack. He retired from daily production before that ever occurred. I used Garfield as an example. For my money, Charles Shultz signaled he was running dry when he put Snoopy on two legs.
When Al Capp died, his widow and syndicate brought in others to continue Lil' Abner. It ran for a while, then they retired the strip, acknowledging that it wasn't, and could never be, the same.
A pianist and singer are rehearsing "Autumn Leaves" for a concert and the pianist says: "OK. So, we'll start in G minor and then on the third bar, modulate to B major and go into 5/4. When you get to the bridge, modulate back down to F# minor and alternate a 4/4 bar with a 7/4 bar. On the last A section go into double time and slowly modulate back to G minor."
The singer says: "Wow, I don't think I can remember all of that."
The pianist says: "Should be no problem. It's what you did last time."
Haha! Or a John Cougar song. I heard an interview with Mellencamp years ago in which he said he once heard a cover band so badly butcher the intro to I Need a Lover (which was 2.5 minutes long) that he decided to start writing simpler stuff.
Three distinct taps with the mallet. LORD: What is wanted? I want to converse with The Lord about a sale. LORD: Present the sale, and your request shall be granted. LORD: What is that? My Mormon soul. LORD: Has it a name? It does - Abraham. LORD: Will you give it to me? I will, through a 90 percent off sale. You get it when I die and I only have to pay you 10 percent of my time, talents, and everything you give me for being a good Mormon.