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Posted by: Thor ( )
Date: October 30, 2010 03:09AM

Ah, so many times I remember men standing before congregations and confiding with a misplaced knowing air the true reason why women didn't hold the priesthood: because men needed it as they weren't naturally as nurturing, i.e. spiritual, as women.

Mmm, brilliant indeed. How could any woman not help but be endeared to such a humble man who can acknowledge is less-worthiness due to his less nurturing personality... ;o) The innate spiritual superiority of women over men is a convenient little thing - why else would polygamy be the new and everlasting covenant, and not polyandry? Because more women than men are worthy to go to the celestial kingdom of course!

Naturally it never occurred to anyone that men might be less nurturing because of a certain hormone called testosterone which their fetuses are bathed in while still in the womb, and possess up to 20 times more of than women. Can the presence of a hormone be evil? Apparently.

But, as dutiful mormons, you needn't invent reasons for these strange doctrinal inequities, when historical precedent can readily answer your question. Here you have it: Women do not have the priesthood because ... they were LESS VALIANT IN THE PREEXISTENCE!!!

Bwahahahahahaha! Take that frumpy relief society speakers at general conference with your silly affected air of homey `I see the light inside of you` nurtury fluffiness! Take that Young Womens' program with your lame, self-indulgent and subjectively intoxicating 'I am a divine double-plus extra special daughter of my heavenly father who loves me cause I'm so special and divine, blah, blah, blah, I'm special, zzzz... snore.' Your paucity of testosterone won`t save you now spirit wife!

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Posted by: The StalkerDog™ ( )
Date: October 30, 2010 03:11AM


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Posted by: FreeRose ( )
Date: October 30, 2010 09:57AM

Very funny! But TSCC will always treat women as doormats/helpmeets. We scare them - Mwaaahahahaha!

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Posted by: dr5 ( )
Date: October 30, 2010 10:10AM

Haha that must be it!

Males were more valiant in the pre-existence, therefore males are testosteronish and delightsome! No wonder the morg supports using viagra.

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Posted by: Major Bidamon ( )
Date: October 30, 2010 10:15AM

In my TBM days I would get pissed off at my wife when she called on someone to say the family prayers. "I'm the priesthood leader, I should be the one who calls for the prayer. blah blah blah". I told her just this morning that I was such a fool back then. She laughed and said it never bothered her. Her response was always, "whatever ... it has to get done, and I'm not waiting around for you to approve it" wise woman!

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Posted by: Misfit ( )
Date: October 30, 2010 11:09AM

Women will receive the priesthood when they get their second anointing. At that time, they will be called up and anointed queens and priestesses unto their husbands. Now, they are anointed only to become such.

Not that I believe this. Just paraphrasing the Temple ceremony.

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Posted by: Adult of god ( )
Date: October 30, 2010 11:31AM

TWO priesthood holders as a couple would be a major power center! All the heterosexual guys would be so jealous!

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Posted by: angsty ( )
Date: October 30, 2010 11:32AM


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Posted by: cl2 ( )
Date: October 30, 2010 11:53AM

Adult of God--

I've always thought that. From my experience with the mormon leaders, they are threatened by two men being in a couple--they are fearful of ever having to be one of two men in a couple. There isn't a "weaker" of the two. I have taken note that they aren't as threatened by lesbian relationships as they are by gay relationships.

What I've always "loved" is the idea that in a gay couple, one plays the female role. That wasn't on the list of myths that someone posted yesterday, but should be. I don't have any idea how many mormons have stated that to me--"Well, who plays the female role?"



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/30/2010 11:53AM by cl2.

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