Recovery Board  : RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In
Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: May 29, 2021 02:40PM

Death comes with such finality...and it's such a ... boogieman'.

There was once a time, and many of you will confirm it, when your mother told you you couldn't go back outside after an evening bath because your hair was still wet, and going outside with wet hair would literally kill you!

Many of our fears have over time been assuaged... But death still remains the boogieman it's always been. While it may be an escape to some under various and sundry situations, for the vast majority of us, it is an unwelcome intrusion.

(In one of Robert A. Heinlein's Sci/Fi novels, he postulates that a naturally occurring 'death-preventer' gene would make humans carrying that gene loathed and despised by the rest of humanity. You know, a jealousy thing...)

Death is likely to be a very simple and personal act, but it can have an intense public effect.

Many people genuinely do not fear death, while to others, it is literally the worst thing in the world, as they consider the breadth and scope of their lives.

One of the major appeals to religion are the explanations given to what happens at death. People grow up being fed stories and soon the possibility that NOTHING happens to the individual after death becomes abhorrent. "Surely the Universe dares not to continue to exist without ME!?! What would be the point!!!!"

I think it is not an unwarranted observation that the majority of active participants on RfM have lived over 50% of their lives. In other words, the majority of us here are coasting towards our graves. And from what I've observed, there aren't any of us here who are eager to get there: dead.

We all know that our days are numbered, but not with the exactitude of our dear Heidi. I mentioned in her thread her very apparent equanimity, and it's worth making note of it again, and envying her that strength.



Okay, so back to the normal me... Here's how I want to check out. This is from the Anaheim Millennial Star & Good Times:

"After the alien spaceship touched down in the main Disneyland parking lot, there was an eerie silence. And then all hell broke loose! 98% of the people and cars tried to increase their distance from the landing site and 2% headed for the alien craft.

"Sitting there in the parking lot, it now looked like a rumpled jumble of jagged building blocks, low at the edges and building up higher towards the middle of the awkward square of its outline.

"There was nothing coming from the ship; no sounds, no movement, no sensations at all ... it sat silent.

"Then a vehicle, southbound on Harbor Blvd., turned right, into the parking lot and slowly approached the behemoth craft. The vehicle, a newer Nissan Frontier, red, with golf clubs in the bed of the pick-up, angled toward the southeast corner of the craft and stopped about 10 feet from that corner.

"The driver, a male Hispanic, possibly Cheech Marin, based on descriptions given by witnesses, moved from the driver's side of the vehicle towards the craft. When he got to the nearest point of the craft, he reached out and touched the nearest portion of the craft. Upon his touch, the surface 'flowed' from the shape it had held, into a lowered, smooth, three to four-foot-wide surface. It was obviously a pathway, and the man walked forward and up the path, which continued to 'flow' into existence as he ascended.

"When the path reached the top of the craft, an elevation about even with the top of the Disneyland Matahorn ride according to witnesses, the Cheech Marin-like man turned and waved, apparently to his truck!, and then disappeared from view.

"A few minutes later a mechanical arm of some kind extended from the edge of the craft nearest the pickup truck and picked up the golf bag and disappeared back into the side of the craft, which then slowly rose and then paused at a height of a few feet. After this pause, it began to accelerate straight up, and by the time civil and military radars tracked it leaving the Earth's atmosphere, it was accelerating at over 10 G's per three-minute egg-timer and was soon lost to view.

"The ID of the Cheech Marin-like man was obviously easily obtained by Earth authorities from the truck left behind, but authorities have refused to release the man's identity, saying that to do so would jeopardize, in their words, "...good taste and careful breeding..."



Since we all gotta go, how do you want to go, v. how will you probably go?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: May 29, 2021 02:47PM

Doesn't that make you Harry Dean Stanton?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: May 29, 2021 02:59PM

No! He was way too pale!!!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: May 29, 2021 03:25PM

I knew you'd get the reference!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: May 30, 2021 08:30PM

The universe doesn't exist without you.

Focusing on the external makes fear of death more difficult.

Look inside yourself for things to fear losing. If there isn't much to lose the then you will lose a universe in a nutshell.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: summer ( )
Date: May 29, 2021 02:52PM

I'd like to die in my sleep, or while having a nap, hopefully having a pleasant dream. And if there is a purring cat in my lap, or by my side, so much the better.

There is a children's novel called, "Tuck Everlasting" that explores the theme of what it would be like for some people to live eternally on this Earth. The novel gives food for thought to readers young and old alike. It can lead to the conclusion that to live a normal lifespan, and then hand the Earth off to others, is a good thing.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: May 29, 2021 02:59PM

I favor the theme that postulates that absent death, Earth would be a hell hole.


An aside: is it okay if the cat snacks on your more tender parts when you fail to feed it because...you're dead?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Tevai ( )
Date: May 29, 2021 04:22PM

elderolddog Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> An aside: is it okay if the cat snacks on your
> more tender parts when you fail to feed it
> because...you're dead?

Absolutely, yes.

Think: Donner Party.

Think: that plane crash over the Andes which took place about thirty years [??] ago.

Those who continue to live have priority, and are (at that moment in the life process) more important than those who have died.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Humberto ( )
Date: May 29, 2021 05:03PM

I've heard that it's the dogs who benefit. Cats are too picky.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: MnRN ( )
Date: May 30, 2021 06:47AM

They teach us both in forensic nursing courses, but more often dogs. This can be a challenge for funeral directors if the family still clings to the open casket tradition. Really though, if the body is just a shell once the soul leaves, what better use than to keep a beloved animal alive in an emergency situation?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Humberto ( )
Date: May 29, 2021 03:16PM

Until about two years ago, I had the luxury of believing that I had a bit of time to waste before thinking about my mortality.

But I was forced into facing it, and it is an emotional, stressful, confusing, and ultimately indescribable experience. I'm lucky. A bit of surgery bought me more time.

But even coming out alive on the other side of the experience has been difficult. Once it was thrown in my face, dramatically and vividly, that death is on its way, it has been hard to stay motivated to fully live.

There's a certain fear that once I start to learn or do something new, death will come knocking again. It's a paralyzing, irrational fear I didn't use to have, and one that I struggle now to rid myself of.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: May 29, 2021 03:27PM

Wow. First Heidi, and now you.

I'd noticed that you largely disengaged from here a while ago but had no idea. I hope you are doing as well as possible--and well in absolute terms too.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Humberto ( )
Date: May 29, 2021 04:33PM

Thank you for the kindness. My circumstances can't be compared to Heidi's. I have reason for optimism. While recurrance rate is somewhat high and they won't declare NED until I'm clear for 10 years, things seem to be in remission. It's only the recovery of confidence and optimism that remains a challenge.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: csuprovograd ( )
Date: May 29, 2021 03:38PM

I, too have been handed a notice that time here may be less than I had hoped.

At first, it was difficult to acknowledge and to know that the end is not over the horizon somewhere, but visibly near.

Then you start thinking about priorities and the proverbial bucket list. Pondering a shortened schedule and then assembling a list of things to do/get done, I started to realize how insignificant the majority of things to do/see/say/feel truly are.

I have settled on seeking the smoothest path, with the least amount of stress. Just give me peace, or allow me to seek it.

In the words of Elbert Hubbard (I’ve quoted this before)

“Give me solitude, sweet solitude, but in my solitude give me still one friend to whom I can murmur, ‘solitude is sweet’.”



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/29/2021 03:39PM by csuprovograd.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: May 29, 2021 03:40PM

I'm sorry to read that about you too, csuprovograd. We my disagree on a lot of things, but I wish you the best short and long term.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Tevai ( )
Date: May 29, 2021 04:18PM

Lot's Wife Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm sorry to read that about you too,
> csuprovograd. We my disagree on a lot of things,
> but I wish you the best short and long term.

I am sorry too, csuprovograd.

I wish you all of the very best, in both the short term and the long.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Tevai ( )
Date: May 29, 2021 03:48PM

Because I have still continuing memories of my last time through this process, I am not afraid of dying. For me, last time around, dying was painless (I was shot in the head, and it was a good shot, for which I am sincerely grateful)...then interesting (as I floated around in a fascinating kind of secure-feeling darkness for a bit)....and then really surprising (when I woke up in what I now know was my crib), and I was WARM--something I will NEVER take for granted EVER AGAIN!!!!....southern California sunshine was streaming through the window of the room I was in ("my" new bedroom), and this strange woman I had never seen before was directing cheerful baby talk in my direction in a language I did not fully understand....which was English).

In this lifetime, I am VERY concerned about those I leave behind (both human and feline). I have every confidence that I, personally, will be okay (I really DID learn from the last time around), but I am concerned about them, and I feel helpless to help since, at that time, I will have decidedly moved on.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: babyloncansuckit ( )
Date: May 29, 2021 05:28PM

I can see EOD being highly desirable as part of an alien hybrid program.

About death, why worry? Humans don’t care about all kinds of things that should concern them greatly, but all of the sudden death is here and they worry. Maybe it’s like a virgin worrying about sex.

Maybe it’s just me. I was raised in a death cult, the Mormons. Then I spent a few years in another death cult, the Army. I’ve spent a lifetime eating murdered animals, so maybe I have it coming. So death, meh.

Don’t ask for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee. Okay, what kind of beer should I bring?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: May 29, 2021 05:48PM

Beer!!!!

The catalyst of Civilization!!

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: hgc ( )
Date: May 29, 2021 11:11PM

It isn't death that concerns me as much as dying. Our ability to prolong life can be a curse more than a blessing. I have seen too many people for whom dying was long and painful. However I die I wish it to be quick and painless.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: May 29, 2021 11:53PM

hgc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It isn't death that concerns me as much as dying.

There's the old witticism, "Nobody ever died falling off the 50th floor. It was the end of the fall that killed them."

It's not the dying,* it's death. Most posters here are comfortable with the belief in the annihilation of the person ("extinction of the soul") as the end-state of death. What if it's otherwise?

Gary Larsen ("The Far Side") offered a comic, but truly profound, thought on the matter:

https://i.pinimg.com/236x/6d/f1/c4/6df1c44904ea531cceb39d3e30bd539d--funniest-cartoons-vintage-comics.jpg

*hgc, your point about difficult, often painful, end-of-life treatments are well taken. There are various approaches, none perfect, such as living wills, that can mitigate these problem, sometimes awful, situations. Every person's needs are individual.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Tevai ( )
Date: May 30, 2021 12:38AM

hgc:

I second the "Living Will" suggestion.

I am also an experienced user of legal instructional and informational books by Nolo (which used to be known as Nolo Press). If they have a book on Living Wills which covers YOUR state, I very strongly suggest you take advantage of this.

Be very consciously aware that there are significant differences between the laws of various states, and that there are truly enormous differences between states which are "community property states": Arizona; California; Idaho; Louisiana; Nevada; New Mexico; Texas; Washington [state] on the one hand....and the rest (the "common law" states) of the United States.

You very much need to consciously know if you are a legal resident of a community property state or of a common law state.

You should also Google "differences between wills and living wills," because these are markedly different documents, which are drawn up and intended for very different purposes.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Kentish ( )
Date: May 30, 2021 08:13AM

I am old enough to know that death gets closer by the day but having been married for almost 61 years I fear my own passing far less than the dreadful thought of my wife passing before me. It is unthinkable.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: olderelder ( )
Date: May 30, 2021 08:48AM

I'm not afraid of death, just the dying part. And I'm less afraid of that since I went pretty far down that road a couple of years ago. Make it quick. Even better, make it unexpected. But none of that long, slow, painful crap. Please.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: vulcanrider ( )
Date: June 02, 2021 09:09AM

I died once when I was five, but my mom told me to walk it off...

Options: ReplyQuote
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In


Screen Name: 
Your Email (optional): 
Subject: 
Spam prevention:
Please, enter the code that you see below in the input field. This is for blocking bots that try to post this form automatically.
 ********   ********   **    **  **     **  **      ** 
 **     **  **     **   **  **   ***   ***  **  **  ** 
 **     **  **     **    ****    **** ****  **  **  ** 
 **     **  ********      **     ** *** **  **  **  ** 
 **     **  **            **     **     **  **  **  ** 
 **     **  **            **     **     **  **  **  ** 
 ********   **            **     **     **   ***  ***