A couple years back just before the pandemic, my husband and I moved to New England from the mid-Atlantic. We have a nice enough house and some good and some less good neighbors in an adequate suburban town.

The pandemic pretty much killed socializing, so we don't have any real social traction here. My husband has some work colleagues, but I work from home. We don't have children or pets.

We tried over the course of the last year to maintain contact with friends down south, but it's always us initiating that contact, never them. If we don't pick up the phone, email, or text them, they don't reach out and there's no reciprocation.

We each have one person - me from college, him from grad school - that we can count on to contact us, but otherwise, it's like we've been ghosted by everyone.

I know we've experienced this with church people, but it's true outside too. I have been trying to think of ways to deal with this, but after 15 months, I've run out of ideas and I think we're coming to accept that these people are gone permanently.

I'd rather not at my age have a caesura in my life, but it sure feels like that's what's happening.

Tyson

We moved to the Carolinas 5 years ago and felt the same about friends. The pandemic didn't help. We still have friends scattered around the US and we decided we will have to visit them. Our friend circle is not large but they are all solid friends. Now, the same friends make the same trek our way during the year. This year we are doing our annual beer run from Charlotte to Nashville via Ashville and Knoxville. (That's a lot of Villes) Our children are grown and we don't have pets so we can travel.

I think you are right that the pandemic stifled socializing. I know vaccinated people who still don't feel comfortable around other vaccinated people. It will just take some time for people to feel comfortable socializing in person again.

If you make all the effort to maintain friendships with the people where you used to live, drop them. It's not that they don't like you, but since you've moved away they don't see a need to maintain contact. Time to make new friends.

Once things are back to "normal" get involved with the community. Take a class at the local community center and/or volunteer. It's the best way to meet people.

Since you are in a new area, spend every weekend doing something new or visiting a place you've never visited. Try new restaurants. It should be fun for you and your husband and you won't miss socializing with others. People will see that you and your husband are out and about enjoying life, which will make you more desirable to get to know.

I wouldn't worry about it. I have a very dear friend who almost never initiates contact. But she is always glad to hear from me, and I've been a guest in her home. Your friendships are not over. Keep reaching out and go visit when you are able.

"As long as I have a mirror, I'll always be there for me."

--Judic West, All Mexican-American Cranial Entremanure

There’s always Chong



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/19/2021 12:57AM by babyloncansuckit.

Absence makes the heart go yonder.