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Posted by: bradley ( )
Date: September 18, 2021 10:03AM

That would explain the serious labor shortages we are seeing. The food service industry seems especially hard-hit. Maybe they were just more righteous than those of us left behind.

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: September 18, 2021 11:16AM

Employees disappearing right and left. Yes. Raptured.

I read about one who was raptured and now blogs about the joys of not working and encourages others to get raptured too. At the very end of the article it mentions that she is living with her parents as she enjoys the thrill of being the Lord's chosen.

Who would have guessed that being risen up to be held in the Lord's bosom actually meant you ended up at your parents house with an iPhone that you can deposit govt checks with one single click?

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Posted by: CateS ( )
Date: September 18, 2021 01:20PM

Did she specifically mention government checks?

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Posted by: bradley ( )
Date: September 18, 2021 05:59PM

How did the evangelicals get this one right? It sure beats Mormon tithing that the church doesn't even need.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: September 18, 2021 11:48AM

Sign up for self-rapture!

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Posted by: Rubicon ( )
Date: September 18, 2021 06:14PM

Mormons are being raptured. They are disappearing from the church.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: September 18, 2021 06:53PM

The Rapture could have happened the day I was born! How would I ever know?

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Posted by: bradley ( )
Date: September 18, 2021 06:58PM

Seriously, you could really mess with your Mormon friends. "So how did you get left behind?" Maybe a banana isn't the only thing perfectly designed to fit in your hand.

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Posted by: Mother Who Knows ( )
Date: September 18, 2021 07:09PM

Ha-ha! I'm not in self-quarantine; I'm in self-rapture!

It is lovely to not work for a while--though I've worked my head off all my life, to be able to take time off when I want, and still have the income flowing in.

Summer in the mountains with my family. Friends on iphone and Facetime can't make demands on me. Happy pets. Happy yard. No germs or colds of any kind. Healthy fresh food. Peace. No cult. No social competition. No more lies, because I avoid those. No more volunteer service, because I can't help anyone anyway. My house is full of good books--more than I could ever read--and there's a library within walking distance. I do feel I'm already in Paradise. (Not the Paradise, CA that burned down around my brother.)

According to religious dogma, I will suffer at this indulgence of too much joy and love--suffer the consequence of DEATH. But, won't we all?

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Posted by: Kathleen ( )
Date: September 19, 2021 01:16AM

^^^ :D

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: September 18, 2021 08:39PM


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Posted by: Phazer ( )
Date: September 19, 2021 10:48AM

The rapture hasn't happened nor will it ever happen.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: September 19, 2021 10:52AM

Did you get this from the tractor store clerk, too?

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Posted by: Phazer ( )
Date: September 19, 2021 01:10PM

No. I have computed that opinion based off data and experience long ago.

If I were to ask the clerk it would be 50/50 split because I'm in a religious area.

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: September 19, 2021 03:33PM

Phazer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> No. I have computed that opinion [about the rapture] based off data
> and experience long ago.

So you acknowledge that your views on Ivermectin are not based on "data and experience."

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Posted by: bradley ( )
Date: September 19, 2021 03:26PM

Along with dosing advice for my horse paste, unlike you pod people.

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Posted by: Tea Wrecks ( )
Date: September 19, 2021 12:31PM

I'm pretty sure it has happened. I saw a pile of clothing and a banana on the sidewalk.

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Posted by: Chicken N. Backpacks ( )
Date: September 19, 2021 12:38PM

It happened in 1980 (I can't be the only one who though of this) :-)

And you get in your car and drive real far
And you drive all night and then you see a light
And it comes right down and it lands on the ground
And out comes a man from Mars
And you try to run but he's got a gun
And he shoots you dead and he eats your head
And then you're in the man from Mars
You go out at night eatin' cars
You eat Cadillacs, Lincolns too
Mercurys and Subaru
And you don't stop, you keep on eatin' cars
Then, when there's no more cars you go out at night
And eat up bars where the people meet
Face to face, dance cheek to cheek
One to one, man to man
Dance toe to toe, don't move too slow
'Cause the man from Mars is through with cars
He's eatin' bars, yeah wall to wall
Door to door, hall to hall
He's gonna eat 'em all
Rapture, be pure

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Posted by: Happy_Heretic ( )
Date: September 19, 2021 01:12PM

No. Also, it never will.


HH =)

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Posted by: Ynamerom ( )
Date: September 19, 2021 03:48PM

bradley Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> That would explain the serious labor shortages we
> are seeing. The food service industry seems
> especially hard-hit. Maybe they were just more
> righteous than those of us left behind.


No it's just that people are scared and afraid [of eating out]... and everything else (except themselves, ironically).

What we are experiencing is The Rupture.

The rapture is beginning though: ID card, Credit Card, VAX card, Safe Passage card, Trustworthy card, Personality card, Reservation card, NOT Crazy card, etc., etc., etc.

It'll be over when all this over.
And over and over and over again.

Over and Out
Without a Doubt

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Posted by: ziller ( )
Date: September 22, 2021 02:53PM

the rupture will take place ~


on July 5th ~


07:00 ~


ante meridian ~


in that last great hour of that great last day ~


the earthly bodies of all exmos ~


living and dead ~


will disintentegrate and reform ~


into glorious celestial and eternal smoking hott bodies ~


there will be few clothes ~


an plenty of space ships ~


armed with lasers ~


which this new exmo space force will use ~


will fry all infidels ~


then set sail ~


across an infinite space ~


to live in eternal happiness ~

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Posted by: Ynamerom ( )
Date: September 22, 2021 06:56PM

That sounds so much like my life:
Hot Bods, spaceships, no clothes...

HOLD ON everybody `\•○□□○•€

Here We Go!

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Posted by: anybody ( )
Date: September 19, 2021 04:20PM


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Posted by: anybody ( )
Date: September 19, 2021 04:20PM


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Posted by: wondering ( )
Date: September 20, 2021 01:41AM

Gasp gasp
Does that mean gawd didn’t want those tbms?

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Posted by: bradley ( )
Date: September 21, 2021 11:38PM

Just to spice things up, if a mass UFO invasion offered you new home in a galaxy far far away, would you take it?

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Posted by: Phazer ( )
Date: September 22, 2021 10:22AM

I would be hesitant. The benefits package would have to convincing bc that's a one way ticket to never coming back and completely unknown living situation. Death would probably come sooner if you leave because getting sick and dying likely increases if in complete new environment.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: September 22, 2021 10:42AM

Not if that alien was an elderly man in Nikes making the offer on the condition I got castrated.

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: September 22, 2021 03:09PM


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Posted by: Adam Warrior ( )
Date: October 24, 2021 08:51PM

Nope. I wouldn't trust an alien but if it was ziller then maybe.

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Posted by: Adam Warrior ( )
Date: October 24, 2021 04:23PM

Yep, I am in the sky right now haha jk.

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Posted by: Happy_Heretic ( )
Date: October 26, 2021 11:33AM

All the self-righteous a-holes around me are still here. So... Nope.


HH =)

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Posted by: ookami ( )
Date: October 26, 2021 03:53PM

Food service worker, here. It's not the Rapture that caused the labor shortage, it's the conditions. I've been working six days a week since August trying to keep the restaurant/bar/bowling alley clean. I deal with leaking garbage bags, frosting stains on carpet that STILL aren't coming out, clocking in two hours earlier on League mornings (I clock in at 4 a.m. on non-League mornings), Guinness puke on the walls and floor of the restrooms, and Utahans (I live in a college town in Eastern Washington and we had a horde of Utahans last week to see BYU play). Not to mention, we've had customers hit servers for enforcing the "Masks required to enter" policy.

Or, maybe we all died and this is Hell.

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: October 26, 2021 05:36PM

You don't have to go to hell. It comes to you. Sometimes from BYU apparently.

That is awful ookami. Geez. You got some gumption there. Wishing you something rapturously heavenly for a change.

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Posted by: ookami ( )
Date: October 26, 2021 05:48PM

I don't have work tomorrow, so that's something good. Plus, if we're going to stay open during the Plague, I'm going to make damn sure the place is clean and sanitized!

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