When I was about 5 or 6 years old, my mother took me to the back yard, and pulled a long 'switch' out of the hardened, tall, weeds.

As I was well aware of her intentions as to what she was planning to do, I did what I could to protect myself, all the while trying to extract myself from the event. Also, I had made sure to lesson the pain as much as possible, for I had earlier put a book between her switch and my private area.

But (pun not intended) I kept scooting from one side of her to the other as she held onto me with one hand, while trying to swat me with the other, she found her struggle to hold me still long enough to swat me were in vain--even to the point of her ending up laughing about what she had intended to do.

My mother didn't give birth to no dummies.

I had the opposite outcome, pollythinks. My mother had me choose my own switch. Big mistake. I tried to get the smallest one off the weeping willow tree. She only swatted me on the back of my legs but that little switch hurt like H*ll!

Ahh, the memories of childhood, right?

kids grow up so fast ~


one minute they are 5 years old ~


and you are spanking them for not cleaning up they room ~


the next minute they are 15 years old ~


and they are standing in the driveway punching you in the chest ~

IMO: in many cases it is heavily influenced by the Biblical world view, which is that people- everybody- is unspeakably depraved and must be taught to think of themselves as such. Spanking is not to correct behavior so much as it is to emphasize to the receiver that he (usually boys, but not always) needs to learn his place and stop trying to assert his individuality.

Humanity has a penchant for punishing those who don't fit it. Look at all those floggings in the British navy. Look at the floggings in modern Pakistan and Iran. Look at capital punishment- which somehow always seems to correlate with a state's religious leanings. When you spank a child you are not teaching him how to clean up his room. You are teaching him that he is worthless.

slskipper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> IMO: in many cases it is heavily influenced by the
> Biblical world view, which is that people-
> everybody- is unspeakably depraved and must be
> taught to think of themselves as such. Spanking is
> not to correct behavior so much as it is to
> emphasize to the receiver that he (usually boys,
> but not always) needs to learn his place and stop
> trying to assert his individuality.

. . .

> When you spank a child
> you are not teaching him how to clean up his room.
> You are teaching him that he is worthless.

I couldn't agree more.

Lot's Wife Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> > When you spank a child
> > you are not teaching him how to clean up his
> room.
> > You are teaching him that he is worthless.
>
> I couldn't agree more.

Me, too.

What I, decades later, found disturbingly unnerving is that, at the end of my mother's life (she was actively going through the dying process and I was driving her to the nearest hospital so she could die "legally"), from her words to me she obviously had no memories of all of any of these events having happened.

For me, it was surreal.

She died a few hours later.

My wife and I agreed before having children that we would spank only if we had a serious safety issue with a young child for which the child wouldn't respond to reason or anything else. We never had any such issue, and it never happened, for which I am very grateful.

Totally agree with the sentiments in this thread.

My mother favored the hairbrush. But only when she was exhausted, completely frustrated, and out of control.

When I think back about how commonplace this was 5 decades ago, it just seems utterly preposterous.

When I was in jr hi, one of the students heated a metal screwdriver in the forge (metal shop) & handed it to another student causing a serious injury.

As I recall, (off-topic) the perp didn't have a dad living at home, back to the story...

The wood shop & the metal shop were located side-by-side...

metal shop had the wood shop teacher make a serious paddle, (about 15 cm wide, but with holes) & the perp got the business end of it in front of anyone.

At that time, I think the perp 'deserved it', I couldn't think of any other appropriate consequence; IDK if they were suspending students then or if his mom was consulted.

I do think corporal punishment should be limited to EXTREME situations.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/25/2021 09:16PM by GNPE.

Rancho High had a dress code and one rule was that boys had to have their shirts tucked in. It was a very commonly flaunted rule.

But I got caught between classes with my shirttails glorious exposed and got a swat from Mr. Bitz's hardwood, multi-hole drilled, sadist-o-matic paddle McSwat board.

I could have gotten another one for not wearing a belt (tough to do when a fashion-dictate was the removal of the belt loops from your Levi 501s), but he let it slide.

I tell you, it was hell growing up before the internet!!!

elderolddog Wrote:
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> very commonly flaunted rule.

You make this too easy, my friend!

I got the strap in junior high...and deserved it. I had knowingly fucked up.
At home I got a few open handed spankings. I tried not to do things that warranted many.

Oh HELL yes! I did something in grade 9 that warranted a teacher give me three good whacks on the hand with a pointer stick. What 'hurt' worse was allowing myself to do that thing, as I'm normally not like that. But what I hope and prayed for most was that my folks wouldn't find out I had it coming or I'd sure as hell have 'caught it' when I got home. To this day they never found out. The stinging 'whacks' of the pointer are long gone, but it's a constant reminder to not be dumbass. Nowadays if this happened, most people would have their kid in a lawyer's office scheming how to get the teacher fired, and how to sue the school district for all the million$ they could get. All for the fact that their little Johnny was the REAL dickhead.

with my own children, I 'soon' realized that corporal punishment wasn't appropriate, I'm glad for that.

My mother was a frustrated TBM housewife. When they married, my father moved her away from her family/friends in SLC to one of the most beautiful and desirable beach cities in SoCal, where I was born and raised. She bitched everyday about moving back to Utah. My father wasn't around much because he was busy building up his business. He also treated my mother poorly which added to her frustration. Those frustrations were taken out on us kids, but mainly me...the only son.

When the beatings would begin in the morning before school, that was the cue for my father to get the hell out of the house and off to work. Often he would leave his breakfast half-eaten and run to his car. Later in life he told me that he didn't remember many mornings when us kids weren't in tears. He actually apologized to me for not standing up to her.

When she wasn't using her hands, a rubber spatula or wooden spoon were her weapons of choice. She even kept a wooden spoon in her purse for easy access when away from home. Breaking a wooden spoon on my ass would REALLY piss her off. Looking back, I wish I would have saved my pennies and bought her a new set of wooden spoons every year for Mother's Day. There were a few strange times where during the course of a beating my body wouldn't feel the pain anymore and I would stop crying. That pissed her off and led her to beat me even harder. I learned that when that happened...keep crying. Being beaten for 5-10 minutes, take a minute or two break, start the beatings up again, was also commonplace.

The all-time record for her was 33 straight days. In some fashion I was hit, smacked, spanked beaten everyday for 33 straight days. When I was 13 or 14 I ran out of the front door during one of her beatings and away from home. I went to a friend's house, stayed the night, and then my friend gave me up to her the next day when she hunted me down.

I was very confused as a kid because none of my friends were treated like this. They came from homes of love. I always wondered what that would be like instead of being in a home of fear. The other confusing thing to me was that I was a good kid!! I was too afraid to be otherwise.

I can count on ONE HAND the positive experiences I had with my mother while growing up. I could go on for hours telling horrific stories. My mother once told me later in life that it was BECAUSE of the beatings that she gave me that I turned out to be such a good person. We were able to establish a cordial relationship, but even that crumbled and I had no contact with her the last four years of her life. I didn't want to attend her funeral but did so at the request of my father (you know...gotta keep up appearances of a happy TBM family). At the funeral some guy shook my hand and said, "I'm sure your mother is watching and looking down on you." I said, "Nawwwwwwww...if anything she'd be looking up at me." The expression on his face was priceless.

How horrible.

IMO she had horrible parenting skills. Teaching children to respond to frustration by using physical violence is not good.

Thankfully, no one in my family was beaten. All it took was a look of disapproval and conversation for us to behave. This worked for my own children as well.

You can tell a lot about people if they beat children, elderly or animals. The Bible BS about not the sparing the rod is a horrible way to live. It justifies cruel and violent behavior toward others.

wow! Does this thread bring back memories. One time my dad beat me so hard with his belt that I couldn't sit down. Do you know what that does to a 5 yr. old girl?

Flash forward 30 years. I was spanking my son with a wooden spoon, & it broke. My beating as a child popped into my head. After that, I never used corporal punishment again.

In school growing up in England the dreaded phrase was "Go to the headmaster's office for the cane and the book." The book was to record the event and the cane was for delivering the punishment, usually six on the rear end or across the palms delivered by the teacher with appropriate wind up, sometimes such that he came would break.

I always vowed that no teacher would ever assault me in this way and that I would simply leave the building if sent for the book. Fortunately it was a vow I never had to fulfill. I am sure some of those teachers enjoyed the experience.

My own experience was simliar, Kentish. I avoided being beaten at school, but my brother was beaten 6 times in a week at one school (aged 11). I don't know about a book being involved, but after each beating, he had to say "Thank you, sir" to the old bastard headmaster. We left after that and went to a school which had abolished corporal punishment in 1921 ;-).

My mother beat me with all types of implements. I did not beat or spank my children. I consider it harmful to the child. The only thing I learned from being beaten was that I needed to keep on her good side to avoid or at least minimize such occurrences.

You're right to call it "assault". It's violence against children and, as such, detestable - period.

No "good" ever came from it.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/26/2021 04:33PM by Soft Machine.

Soft Machine Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> . . . after each
> beating, he had to say "Thank you, sir" to the old
> bastard headmaster.

How very Mormon that was.


-----------------
> You're right to call it "assault". It's violence
> against children and, as such, detestable -
> period.
>
> No "good" ever came from it.

I couldn't agree more. When children are assaulted by those whom they love, the effects are deleterious and life-long. It's evil.

Oh, yes, I forgot to say why my brother was beaten at school: his academic results were considered insufficient!

Dig that crazy 1960s psychology...

. . . and the bullying in that old English schools tradition.

How many great (in various ways) English men were permanently alienated by their experiences in those institutions. . .



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/27/2021 02:44AM by Lot's Wife.

I wish I never had. I wish that I had hugged them more, played with them with their toys more. We live with enough authoritarian culture that I wish my home had been more a retreat that another extension of it.

Elder Berry Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I wish I never had. I wish that I had hugged them
> more, played with them with their toys more.

Beautiful.

Lot's Wife Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Elder Berry Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I wish I never had. I wish that I had hugged
> them
> > more, played with them with their toys more.
>
> Beautiful.

Yes.

My father was a big proponent of spanking. It was his "go to" method of discipline, along with yelling and sarcasm. When he died, I shed somewhat few tears.

The tears I did shed were for the side of him that was fun, loving, and kind. In some ways, he was a better parent than my mom was, mainly because he actually wanted children. If he hadn't been an alcoholic with PTSD and untreated depression, he would have been a very good father. But I bore the brunt of his troubled past, because when I was growing up, he and my mom owned a business that they ran out of our home. They were both home all the time and stressed out about trying to run their business.

He wasn't a terrible person, but I still have a lot of memories of the way he looked when he'd get enraged and take it out on me, or when he'd tell me things like no man would ever love me or I'd never make more than minimum wage. Or when he'd rag me about my weight, my laugh, or my personality, which he said was "arrogant".

He died seven years ago, and I mostly don't miss him.

My Mom spanked the family, but not my Dad. She really got into the spankings when in company of other church members because they openly CRITICIZED her for poor parenting. I have lots of memories being dragged into the women's restroom at church. It could be the littlest thing like sneezing during the sacrament prayer. Of course, I would get bored and kick the back of the pew. She usually missed the first speaker. She carried a leather belt in her purse.

I was one of those who had to be dragged out of the chapel crying. Then I after I was spanked, I was dragged out of the restroom and down the hallway. I was threatened to stop crying or she would belt me again right there in the foyer.

I was usually given a coloring book or paper to draw to keep me pacified until SM was over. Then some old biddy would make a snide remark, "Young children should not be coloring during SM. That's not a proper way to train children in the church." That would cause me to get dragged back to the restroom for another round of spankings.

Did anyone get spanked while spending the night at a friend's house?

This was a weird one. I must have been six or seven. My friend had a small sleepover at a non-members house. There were three of us. We had sleeping bags and planned to sleep outdoors on the deck. What I didn't know was that the Mom became very drunk after dinner. She passed out and locked us out of the house. My friend had to break a window to see if she needed help. She was on the kitchen floor.

When she came to, she beat the hell out of him. I didn't know what to do. When she finished, we also got a whipping. We were guilty by association. She was a horrible person and it partially explained why the kid was always angry.

> She was a horrible person

    This is why matricide and patricide are in the dictionary.