I was just musing over the recent "wedding" invitation from a TBM nephew which deems us not worthy to attend the actual wedding but invites us to one of those "receptions" featuring a section denoted "schedule". No food, and 1.5 hours (that's 1.5 hours) devoted to dancing. The most amusing and embarassing (for them) part of the whole thing is the inclusion of their venmo tag right on the invite.

Crass.

HAHAHAHa. They've updated the word crass.

I had to ask what it was. Venmo on the invitation? I just told everyone in the office and got a lot of wrinkled nose "ewww-tacky, tacky, tacky!" responses. And let me tell you this is no hoity toity bunch responding that way. If they think its tacky . . . they are the experts.

What happened to Mormon Punch and date nut bread cooked in soup cans so you could have dainty round slices and the Mia Maids serving it all? In my day Mormons still had some style and some hospitality.

Sounds like a generation slap, er gap. It might have actually been meant to lower the age of the attendees with the no food, dancing, and venmo.

Perfectly designed to ensure that the only attendees are the ones with no self-respect.

It wouldn't surprise me to have the couple make an MLM pitch sometime during the reception. The audience will already be self-selected for meek submissiveness.

Weddings are events where it is socially acceptable to feel smugly superior to those people not as cool as we are. I've always found that kind of amusing.

Mormons have largely eschewed the $15k-$35K blowout weddings, probably out of necessity. Too many children to afford to do that, I think it is one of the few things they got right. Overblown weddings make me cringe.

I agree about the overblown "look at me" weddings. The money would be better squirreled away for the divorce lawyers the way marriages last these days.

asking for cash can, in a reasonable world, in no way be deemed "getting it right".

There is a huge gap between being "overblown" and being downright tacky and cheap.

I was just telling my daughter yesterday how an envelope would be sent around during Relief Society meeting. Those that wanted could put in a couple of dollars (usually 2 dollars) and write her name & amount of donation on the outside. Some good sister would take the money and buy the gift. Sometimes it was a vacuum and other times-- a couple of towels.

Mormons have always been that way. I read an article The Atlantic magazine published in 1864 on the Mormons in Utah. They sent a reporter there and Heber C Kimball and Brigham Young were very much braggers with Heber C Kimball being the worst of them.

Of course what the Mormons built out of a desert wilderness was impressive but there were smug attitudes about the US falling into civil war and after the US was ruined people would come to the Mormons for help and join the flock because their way of life was superior.

When Mormons accomplish something noteworthy or exceptional, other Mormons love to claim it's because they're Mormons, even though many more non-Mormons have accomplished the same things, or done even greater things. And in many cases, those Mormons accomplished what they did DESPITE being Mormon rather than because of it.

It is usually not the TBest of TBM that accomplish great things.

It is the Mormons that make exceptions to the rules. Hanging out with non-members, working on Sunday, attending events were liquor may be severed.

Outside of being a dentist in Draper I do not know how you could be Mormon and successful.

I worked in an office with many divorcees. I didn't have to, but it was nice to get out of the house and do this job I have. One of them was getting married for the 4th time--a few times in the temple. She thought I was horrible for being an adulteress with my boyfriend. Her invite asked for cash donations, too. She was having a reception for her 4th wedding.

My boyfriend's son's wedding lasted 3 days. I cannot begin to imagine how much they spent. It was a beautiful wedding on the top of a mountain in CO and the food was excellent, BUT my daughter had a small reception, only inviting friends and family. They paid for it. I paid for my own wedding, too. I had a good job and my daughter has a good job.

The best wedding I've ever been to was very inexpensive and not in a religious venue. The reason it was the best was the bride and groom were so in love and adorable that neither could stop crying during the ceremony. You could cut the love with a knife and sell slices it was so strong. This was back in the days when people still gave you brooms and dishcloths and linens and kitchen goods to get you started and no one was walking around a store choosing fine china and fancy silver for your guests to give you that they could only afford one piece of barely. Yes, I'm a dinosaur.

Forty some years later I still see them from time to time when I go back home and they are still crazy about each other and so fun to be around. I think of them when I see the gift grab weddings.

At the other end. We were invited to a reception for a very well to do couple who had already been together for decades and finally married now that it was legal.

They already had every fancy thing you could want in their huge house on the hill. Still they registered at Tiffany's and Neiman-Marcus and expected gifts. We were horrified. Just as tacky as asking for cash on your invite, or, worse?

I hate the whole gift grab.

Like a Mormon woman I know, who was/is unaware I no longer am a member, voicing her concern over her daughter who had become a bit of a wild child in her teens. The mom told me she was concerned the daughter wouldn't be joining them in the Celestial Kingdom....and my first thought was "you presume a lot don't you"?

It's a shame that you already made other plans for that date, isn't it? ;-)

I recently got an invitation for a party. I would have had to drive more than an hour there, bring a dish to share, and also bring my own beverage of choice. Oh, and it was a costume party. I could think of about a hundred more appealing things to do than to accept that "hospitality." I'm fine with making a contribution, but shouldn't the hostess provide *something* other than a roof?

Mormons are sort of 'ISOLATIONISTAS'

I'm like, I'm SO LATE I'm NOT EVEN THERE

So sick! Not slick at all. What a Schtick!

My reply? Y'all HAVE FUN! There is NO WAY
I could attend, AND Have Fun!

Bring on THE FOOD and, like, DJ Shaddow
And I'm there. Otherwise, IT'S A FLOP!

And I, for one, don't like sloppy parties (or slop)
Receptions that are a freakin' flippin' flop.

I prefer a place where people can be themselves
So I'll be somewhere else if I can't come as I am

I'm doing the cake and the bouquet and the photographs. She mail ordered the dress from Hong Kong. $90 for the dress and $85 shipping. Short dress, fits well.

The couple has been together 30 years, there will be 7 people at the wedding. It's fun to put in the effort for a couple that will be together for awhile and aren't picky.

Is not sending Thank You notes just a mormon thing or has this become a thing across all the platforms for marriage?

How to legitimately avoid sending thank you notes: don't solicit gifts.

What century is this?

Your class and age are showing just by asking that.

If any Thank You notes are sent they will probably be as a courtesy from Venmo.


Remember gentility? Those were the days my friend . . .

"Gentility" politeness, good manners, whatever the term, is never out of date and expressions of such are never determined by those on the receiving end. For instance, holding a door for another is not discontinued because the recipient of the courtesy does not have the manners to say thank you.

Exactly. You do what you do because you want to and I will continue to do that regardless of the missing thank you. I do reserver the right to think less of the thankless though. And with gentility I do see a difference between now and then.

Not just Mormons. I remember the first time I saw a soon to be married couple wandering around a high end department store aiming their "guns" at merchandise to record the items they wanted their "invitees" to buy for them. The world lost some charm as they pulled the trigger on the Baccarat, Swarovski, and Hermés. The dish towels and brooms were safe.

At almost any store now when you check out is a wall of gift cards. Everybody giving each other money. I've seen people exchange gift cards of equal amounts. WTF? What happened to humans?


I do like at weddings in some cultures where the bride takes her shoe off and everyone puts money in it during a wild dance. Nice tradition. Sometimes they throw it all over the bride and groom while they dance. I guess gift cards are our new tradition. I think we got cheated.

What, Mormons cheat well?