This poor lady is experiencing the toxic after effects of being assertive to hateful Mormon in laws.

https://youtu.be/SsguWGMVOro

I had forgotten how awful religious alienation is. What awful, awful people! This is because she made a video about how the in-laws were calling her a “jezebel”. So they sent her hate mail, harassed her, and disinherited her and her husband and kids.

My heart goes out to her.

People can be horrible!

It got so bad that she had to change her phone number and move! She has security camera footage of her in-laws dumping every gift she and her husband ever gave them, and they wrote letters saying that when Exmo Lex’s kids grow up, the in-laws will tell them about how awful they are and the kids will hate Exmo Lex and her husband.

Isn’t life hard enough without that kind of toxicity? I think I would be tempted to get a restraining order. Jeez!

"when Exmo Lex’s kids grow up, the in-laws will tell them about how awful they are and the kids will hate Exmo Lex and her husband"

This is like the stock cartoon villain giving his monologue, exposing his plans to the hero just before he's taken down. All Lex & her husband need to do is to show the letters to the kids, who will then be forewarned and inoculated against the in-laws' poison. "Curses, foiled again!"

Countless viewers can now see stupid, toxic mormon family values for themselves. Way to go, mormons. Put it all out there for the world to see.

Hating people back into the church never works.

I was talking to my husband about this…. I think I would be concerned about the grandparents trying to mess with the kids, calling CPS and the like. I would think about getting a restraining order and turning that stuff over to the bishop.

Good luck trying to fellowship that family back into the fold.

Absolutely. I would definitely seek a restraining order, and a Mormon bishop in his right mind wouldn't want any of this going down in his ward on his watch. There is no guarantee that the wicked inlaws' bishop is in his right mind, but there's little to be lost in trying.

There are two problems with a restraining order.

First, it would signal a complete rupture of the relationship with the parents/grandparents. I'm not sure Lex and her husband are ready for such finality. It may well be the right move--I think it is--but it would vindicate her parents-in-law's defamation in the eyes of the ward and virtually all other Mormons in their community. I know whereof I speak: the rumor mill worked against us until we had to severe almost all of our Mormon connections, and in the many years since then the vilification has continued. That was not easy for us or for our children.

Second, a restraining order is not that easy to get. You have to have something approaching criminality, and nasty emails aren't enough. As for the bishop, my experience is that the apparatchiks won't interfere with the rumormongering at all. They have have no interest in offending ward members.

So it may be that Lex and her husband have to do this the hard way. They may have to establish and maintain the boundaries and know that occasionally some chimp on the other side is going to throw scat into their yard. It's stories like these that rekindle my hatred for the church and my fear of its members.

The best thing they can do for their kids, themselves, and their kids is GET THE HELL OUT OF THE MORIDORE. They are never going to stop. They will find out where their new house is much sooner than later and they will sick the gossip/harassment machine on them. The kids will be invited to activities and love bombed. Oh but we just want to welcome them to the neighborhood! They don't have cause for a restraining order. A bish would side with the grandparents and throw gas on the fire. One sister has threatened physical harm but not in a way you would get a Utah judge to care. The sisters have a lot to gain. Two brothers out of the will and this takes the heat off the one that just got divorced.

Yes, I agree. Resign (if they haven't already,) and then move. Colorado, for instance, is just far enough away, has a similar climate, and is mostly non-Mormon.

That video is heart breaking.Ex Mo Lex has million of views on tick tock. I listened to her Mormon Stories interview too. To me it shows the Mormon shunning if you don't follow the plan you will get shunned.

https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPd2sCFhV/

When I resigned from Mormonism I only told my mom about it. That was over 8 years ago (July 2013) the fall out over it was bigger than I had ever expected. Some of my cousins are still not speaking to me. My relationship to my mom is basically over she keeps sending me lds books for me to read. My mom's goal has become to get me re baptized.

Ugh…

I just don’t understand how people can value religion over family relationships. But then, I have relatives who don’t talk to me because I don’t worship the orange man.

I can understand - they do it specifically because they are Mormon. A woman in my ward disowned her only son after he came out as gay at the age of 18. He broke the news and was on the street. The bishop took him in.

Mormons are literally insane because their religion makes them that way. Their doctrine of damning the world (the >99% that doesn't buy their nonsense) is incredibly self destructive.

Active Mormons check themselves into an asylum every Sunday so that they can keep their forever family.

All my fingers are down.

https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPd2s7Tm7/

So I'm guessing her in-laws are some of the overtly happy conservatives that want to show liberals how to be happy.

Their way or the highway. Lots of Mormon families like that. Tevye could have learned a thing or two about shunning.

Done & Done Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> So I'm guessing her in-laws are some of the
> overtly happy conservatives that want to show
> liberals how to be happy.

Excellent.

You can be sure they would claim to be the happiest of all on any questionaire. Apparently happiness, like truth, has a lot of "alternative definitions" these days.

This is but another example of how sanctimonious, hypocritical bigotry can overturn every normal human response and lead the such horrendous actions as the Spanish inquisition.
I have"from time to time" encountered this same approach here on rfm
We have to be careful about how we approach recovery from the cult.
It is not OK to damage other people because we have been damaged.
We need to show compassion because we are all in it together.

thedesertrat1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This is but another example of how sanctimonious,
> hypocritical bigotry can overturn every normal
> human response and lead the such horrendous
> actions as the Spanish inquisition.
> I have"from time to time" encountered this same
> approach here on rfm
> We have to be careful about how we approach
> recovery from the cult.
> It is not OK to damage other people because we
> have been damaged.
> We need to show compassion because we are all in
> it together.

Wow, DR. I know we can all express strong opinions at times but our interactions could not in any world be compared to the Inquisition.

I agree we shouldn't "damage" others for any reason. Compassion is also an approach I can get behind.

The conundrum here is that many have indeed been badly hurt and in fact are still experiencing many of the reasons for that pain. It can be difficult in that position to be supportive and therapeutic to others. We try.

It's clear that the in-laws have major issues and escalation would sadly not be surprising.

Tyson

That level of drama is tough to deal with.

At least she's managing it in the best way possible: Monetization via YouTube!

She lost me at her statement that her response to her in-laws was not a response. Not a good sign of things to come when the first thing out the door is a bit of gaslighting, telling us not to believe our own eyes and ears.

I didn't listen to much more, but my gut reaction is "negative codependency". I only have so much time, and I'm not going to spend it trying to unravel that mess of a relationship. What Humberto said.

Yep. If it wasn't Mormonism, these people would be stirring up drama between themselves over something else. Also remember that there are almost always two sides to every story. We're getting one side from a person who has no problem publicly airing personal, dirty laundry. Keep that in mind.

Basically, she found out that her in-laws were kind to her face and she thought she had a loving relationship with them, only to discover how badly they were badmouthing her behind her back. And worse, they were deliberately trying to undermine her relationship with her own children by making sure that they did everything they could to indoctrinate the kids.

She made a video to talk about how blind-sided she was by this and how hurt she was. She had done previous videos talking about how grateful she was that the family was so supportive of her and her husband, only to discover what they really thought of her. So she wanted to make a video about what the reality turned out to be and how hurtful that was.

She wasn't responding to the in-laws because, as she said, she has nothing to say to them. I wouldn't either. Since she'd made a video about what had happened, she wanted to give an update on what had happened since then.

What has happened is that her in-laws got caught being totally two-faced, and they got caught saying nasty things behind her back and trying to deliberately indoctrinate her children, and instead of being embarrassed about being caught, they have gone on an attack against Lexi and her family. They got caught and they're mad about it.

These are people who claim to be a member of Jesus' church and this is how they act. It's most definitely not Christ-like, in any way. Do they really think that Jesus would want them to treat anyone like that? Would they actually stand in front of him and be proud of their actions? I don't believe in the guy, but they supposedly do.

Some of the things they've done are quite frightening. I'd be considering legal action, if I were her.

Unfortunately, I think an unrealistic expectation for exmos is to expect their families ties and relationships to improve with their new found honesty and independence. Mormonism is an abusive relationship. I think way too many exmos fall into the mental trap of believing their die hard mormon family and friends will be reasonable and respect their decision to quit the church.

On a personal note I work for several asshole bosses. Even though I usually deliver work which makes them look good to their superiors, they always find away to be critical of my work and nitpick on miniscule details. If I dwell on it then I will blame myself for not doing a better job when I am not the problem, they are.

Additionally, I have toxic family members and I have had to set boundaries that make me look like I'm the bad guy. But that's what you need to do in order to have peace in your life. I believe the sooner you refuse to allow vicious people to control your life then the greater satisfaction you will have.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/30/2021 05:45PM by messygoop.

This probably won't be a popular opinion, but.... if everything went down like she said it did, this most likely isn't a merely a "mormon" problem. The family in question has much, much deeper issues.

I suspect it wasn't only "after" she left the church that they said mean things behind her back while acting supportive.

cftexan Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The family in question has much, much deeper issues.


They are seriously messed up. That's for sure.

You’re probably right. She also says that she doesn’t think all Mormons do this stuff. It’s just the in-laws. They are obviously abusive people who happen to be LDS, much like my husband’s ex wife.

I don’t blame her for exposing them or even having a monetized video. I sometimes write similar posts in my blog. I don’t do it for attention. I do it to process and because I know there are others out there who can relate.

I don’t watch Exmo Lex regularly. I did see her video about being called a Jezebel, which is why I watched this one. My heart goes out to her.

I wonder if things would have been different for Exmo Lex before social media? Or if she wasn't public about her ex Mormon views. Why am I saying that? We were inactive for a couple of months before we resigned and my family did not know about it. When we resigned I called my mom and said that husband and I had resigned. After that the news spread quickly and things have never been the same. Ofcourse I am happy not to have any tie with Mormonism but it did come with a big cost. I was in Sugar Land to support Sam Young and John Dehlin ask me if I was interested in being on Mormon Stories. I said no. If I would tell all the creepy questions that I was ask during a worthiness interview by a bishop I don't think my family would believe it. The more my family knew the more they tried to use that information for them. For example once I said to my mom about the translation of the Book of Mormon and she came with isn't that amazing that God can translate in multiple ways? The Book of Abraham? Those are funeral texts and once again my mom had some spiritual thing to say about the Book of Abraham. Being an Ex Mo YouTuber attracts active lds people to respond. I could not handle their input and I would have the YouTube comments section turned off. Those keyboard warriors can be so harsh. Being authentic was/is important to me. Sometimes I do wonder if people who don't share their views or opinions are just plain smarter?

The saddest thing is I have seen this at least 100 times. It's all her fault, not their son. Nice to her face, talk smack behind her back. Lie to her face about boundaries. First thing they do when called on their crap? Write them out of the will. So typical. Threaten to do all they can to turn their kids against them. I am so glad they were told what was really going on. It will save them and their kids a lot of grief in the future. Sometimes you have to cut your losses and move on.

Mormons have done this type of thing to other dear family members that have been maybe loyal to MormØŽism for years?

Not much wonder why the Mormon name is now no longer used nor promoted.

In the video Exmo Lex is saying that her brother and sister in law also have trouble going on with her in laws. Her brother and his wife were the ones who told Lex that she was called "Jezebel" behind her back. One of my cousins has very little contact to his family due to my aunt constantly talking about Mormonism to his children when she knows that my cousins has resigned in the year 2020 together with his wife. One of their 3 children is baptized.

When the bishop and S.P. did their duty and informed all who know me that I was apostate, I got the good and the bad.

A few overbearing asshholes stopped talking to me, this I viewed as a great victory.

The ward RS president and EQ president lived down the street. My porch cam (installed to thwart package thieves) recorded them leaving a "recovering your faith in trying times" pamphlet on my door, but then proceeded to my circut breaker panel, turned off my power and left me a note "a taste of outer darkness". A week later I left them a care package on their porch of the ancient fossilized fruit cake I kept in my tool shed with a note which read "though it may be enticing, please stay away from my great and spacious building."

Haha Funny story. Perfect comeback.

Made me think that Mormons should start worrying instead about their inner darkness.

Good hell, how RUDE. I hope nothing spoiled. I would have been so angry. Common sense, common curtesy go out the window for these idiots when it comes to their prize pig of a religion.

You were nicer about it than I would have been :)

You could have reported them to the police for vandalism and disturbing your peace. It's not legal to mess with people's internal power.

Zelph the Apostate Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> then proceeded to my circut
> breaker panel, turned off my power and left me a
> note "a taste of outer darkness".


Why do they feel compelled to “teach people lessons” like this?

For example, my jerk TBM brother, right after converting in high school, along with his seminary buddies, threw cotton balls in an African American teacher’s yard during Black History Month, so that she’d “know how it felt to pick cotton.”

Oh wow

He actually came home laughing and bragging about it. Of course, it was 1986, so ETB was the freshly minted Profit (pun intended).

I suspect that the "priesthood" ban changes of 1978 were probably fresh enough that the faithful still knew the "real deal" about the Curse of Cain. I wonder if people were hoping ETB would change things back. Heck, maybe they still are.

But I'm getting off topic... my brother is a self-important jerk.

That is so petty! I would have been furious. Good for you for your awesome and witty comeback!

I can understand - they do it specifically because they are Mormon. A woman in my ward disowned her only son after he came out as gay at the age of 18. He broke the news and was on the street. The bishop took him in.

Mormons are literally insane because their religion makes them that way. Their doctrine of damning the world (the >99% that doesn't buy their nonsense) is incredibly self destructive.

Active Mormons check themselves into an asylum every Sunday so that they can keep their forever family. Sure it sucks that only Mormons can have that, but Horny Joe said so.

Staying true to to their inner darkness with MormØŽism, if just to maybe keep their fear mongering threats of getting cast into 'Outer Darkness" active?

that'sarealkeeper

Now in the wild wild west days of old, being cast aside and out of the LDS community had very real ramifications.
They could really implement their religious fear of outer darkness upon you back then.

See, you could have joined either Scientology or the Jehovahs Wittnesses and gotten the exact same thing!

So really, nothing to do with anything but fear mongering.