Why is the Book of Mormon considered a well written book by Mormons??

Even if it is a fiction book which I believe it is... the Book of Mormon is not well written. It has lame stories that are not based on reality... such as eight barges that are tight as a dish and no bigger then the length of a tree holding cattle, swarms of bees, and people with a hole on each side that needs to be unstopped to get air.

The Harry Potter books are much better fiction.

;

From GA Brigham H. Roberts' "Studies of the Book of Mormon":

"The narrative proceeds in characteristic disregard of conditions necessary to its reasonableness, as if it were a tale told by a child, with utter disregard for consistency."

From Rudyard Kipling's "American Notes":

"The whole thing is a powerful anesthetic ... and ends in a wild and weltering quagmire of tribal fights, bits of revelation, and wholesale cribs from the Bible."

From Mark Twain's "Roughing It":

"The book is curiosity to me, it is such a pretentious affair, yet so 'slow', so sleepy, such an insipid mess of inspiration. It is chloroform in print."

Kind of like the oft heard claim that Mormons were the first to give women the right to vote. (It was actually Wyoming.)

Sigh, lack of critical thinking...

Why you think mormons think garments are sexually attracted.

First of all, I'll come out and say that far too many Mormons haven't really read enough to know how lame the BoM is. They read church books, Reader's Digest, and vampire novels.

But even the ones who have had a more broad reading experience have a way to explain it. God needs to "talk simple" to the lowest common denominator of humans, just like Jesus did. That way even the most simple minded can understand God's message. If God had actually written like someone smart, it wouldn't be read and understood by the least among us. At least that's what I was taught....

Also Mormons will often say, "We don't know why God decided to pick Joseph Smith for his prophet but we know God had a purpose." So there.

I'm convinced that if someone started a church of Suess, the followers would have no problem believing the words were inspired of God and are sacred. They would chant, "Green eggs and ham" as if it was some deep spiritual message.

dagny Wrote:
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> I'm convinced that if someone started a church of
> Suess, the followers would have no problem
> believing the words were inspired of God and are
> sacred. They would chant, "Green eggs and ham" as
> if it was some deep spiritual message.


Joe liked to have sex
But the girls found him odd
So he had an idea
"I'll pretend I know god!
I'll look in this hat
Hold some rocks in my hand
Tell the sheep there's an angel
Oh, won't this be GRAND"

So Joe told his tales
About darkies and pales
And some wars that occurred
And some dopes took his word
And he said 'By the way
God said you must pay
Cause your soul you just rent
So I'll take ten percent'

'And while we were talking, that god guy and I,
he told me we'd all get to live in the sky
with a whole bunch of girls who would do what we say
and he said I should start with a harem today'

So Joe looked around at the girls in the town
and chose which ones he would like to go down
and those who objected were reminded that
Joe had been told by the voice in the hat
That he must be obeyed, there should be no more strife
And when Joe said "I want her", you gave him your wife

And Joe kept this up (for the people were stupid)
This make believe guy-in-a-hat-sort-of-cupid
As long as he thought he could, longer than that
Until some of the people said "hey, where's the hat?"
We've taken about just enough of this stuff
And then things got weird and then things got rough
And the next thing you know, Joe got what he deserved
But a lot of his BS was somehow preserved
By another old goat with an eye for the ladies
Who reminded the sheep while there wasn't a hades
They better turn over the women for fun
And reminded them all that he'd soon 'breed 'em young'

Shummy

Is it ok if I print off your poem, its great and I'd like to share it with a few friends.

I've had a go at writing a poem about when I joined the church and enjoyed the thrill of seeing it come together.

Thanks for the laugh

freedomissweet Wrote:
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> Shummy
>
> Is it ok if I print off your poem, its great and
> I'd like to share it with a few friends.
>
> I've had a go at writing a poem about when I
> joined the church and enjoyed the thrill of seeing
> it come together.
>
> Thanks for the laugh


You are most welcome.

Feel free to dissemenate the Dr's message.

It was given to me by an mysterious purple leprechaun who told me to share with everybody.

Waggies and slurpies to you, O great writer!

Yer awestruck pal,

Reggie

Next thing you know you'll be telling me "An elephant's faithful 100%!" is just a silly rhyme!

;)

I've found more inspiration in the "The Pratt In the Hat."

are genius works in my opinion, far better than the weak, trashy, thrown together, and repetative Book of Mormon.

I also believe in Santa Claus and always feel sad that he's used and abused as an example of fakery.

"They would chant, "Green eggs and ham" as if it was some deep spiritual message."

Wait, what?! It's not? Well now...

No, seriously, because someone else said it was good and because it's not cool to say otherwise. Maybe it's related to the thing about it being the most correct book on earth. Someone thought if it's correct, it must be good too.

I just remember being like this ninth grader thinking holy crap, why would God want me to read something so old fashioned and convoluted and boring. I had to stop and re-read about every other sentence and was never able to get past the first few pages.

Same deal with the Bible. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz ... verily.

and I went to my bishop. I said unto him "who begat this piece of garbage?" I'm like even unto a young child and it looks like I was the editor.

How many times have we heard a variety of members talk about how they never can get past 2Nephi? Or how they only talk about key areas which everyone else talks about or mentions in church?

Just look at your average Bishop who can recite and find on cue a scripture that meets their typical teaching needs, but when you ask or try to discuss tactics used in lamanite warfare, they don't have a clue?

How many times has leadership tried to persuade people to read it, only to talk later about how much they wish we would?

I mean seriously, how well written can it be?

It's pretty obvious that the ones who say it is so awesome are the ones telling everyone else to read it.

Well, it was written by a 14 year old who had no education and no access to any literature. That's what they are told over and over again.

I am with some of the other posters. I don't think the members who repeat the FPRs bout it have read it cover to cover.

People who read it cover to cover and seriously ponder it either end up here or on a pro-church board desperately trying to convince themselves that it's true.

Yes, and it is still presented as if it was written by a teenager.

Once I was talking to a Mormon about the BOM. She was actually a jack-Mormon. She said to me "I know the BOM is true. I haven't read it but I know it's true."

That really makes it easy. You don't even have to know what is in it. You just have to believe.

The more you repeat a lie the more likely someone will believe it.

In the book are some statements by the supposed authors who tell the reader that they are'mighty unto speaking but not unto writing.' god tells them that if those who read the book make fun of the writings they will be answerable to god. so in the book is a threat to people of god' s displeasure if you don't think the book is well- written.

Unfortunately, I wasted a lot of time reading that thing straight through, more times than I can count. It always gave me great peace after I read it. Go figure.

I do think it has to do with what one thinks it represents, being that most correct book and all. When you're told that it's sacred and that reading it will make you happy, it can do just that.

It's all in what you're convinced of and your brain takes it from there. Knowing now that it's a fraud, I doubt I could get through so much as a verse of it without gagging or just getting angry.

Joe wrote the novel BOM mostly when he was sitting on the toilet bowl - doing his business.

Thats how he got his inspirations. Thats why I think the BOM is full of shit.

...you're told that if you're "in tune" you'll "get it".

I was too focused on doing what I was told. I just kept reading it over and over (probably around 18+ times in total), hoping to feel the spirit and FINALLY get a witness that it was true. (Never happened). I guess I was insecure enough about my own worthiness/spirituality, that I wasn't going to CRITICIZE the book.

It usually took me about 9 months to a year to read it through each time . . . reading just a few pages a day (and missing many days along the way). But if you handed me a good novel or interesting non-fiction book, I'd finish it in a few DAYS, and lose sleep doing it. So it should have been obvious to me that I was just plain BORED with the B of M.

Maybe the weirdest part about the way Mormons study the B of M is that they let leaders TELL them WHAT to read, WHO to read with, and HOW LONG to read it daily. That's just WEIRD and controlling!

I'll read whatever the hell I want, WHEN I want to, thank you very much.

One thing I remember very well from that period is that I had a sunday school class for children of converts and investigators. I guess it was like the gospel principles class for the adult investigators and new members.

In this class they would read bits of the Book of Mormon with us, and it was all, well, cholorphorm in print indeed. Then they made us read a few bits of the bible, such as the sermon on the mount, and it was literature. The contrast struck me. I've read a lot in the bible since then, but not much in the book of mormon.