I still am after a few years out and it is frustrating to say the least. Healing has super slow but i was in the operation since birth so i have to give myself some slack i think based on that fact.

It's like escaping from an insane asylum. You find those on the outside aren't much more sane.

There’s a little bit of crazy built into the human condition. Our pre-frontal cortices are the newest part of the species, evolutionarily speaking. We’re at best half rational as a race.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/16/2022 11:30PM by Cold-Dodger.

I'll take half over full rational every day.

I will never recover from "worthiness", and the abusive enforcement of it by the church.

Like

It's not just a religion. It's a culture, lifestyle and family history. I don't think you ever "recover" 100%. You change, develop coping mechanisms, add distance and grow past a lot of it. Hell, I have been out for decades but I still feel guilty that we are going out for Easter dinner. I am still going but there is a twinge!

Although I left the Catholic church by my mid-teens, it took me a good thirty years to fully shake Catholic guilt. Thirty years! That's how deep religious indoctrination can go. It took me many years to get comfortable with shopping on a Sunday. And I'm still not crazy about going to the store on Good Friday.

Holy shinto thirty years?!! I may be in the same boat though. One day at time is becoming my new motto. It's all i can really do. Its been a slow and very gradual healing process for sure. I thought it would be quick after i resigning but that was very naive of me to think that way i am now realizing.

Over 40 years for me and I still was guilty when I added bakery cookies to cart! I love that curbside pick up. I mean really Susan! It's not like the ghosts of my ancestors are going to rise up and haunt me like Marley's ghost. I really get irritated with myself sometimes :)

Every day of my life.

Every bit of shame and guilt I feel correlates to the unobtainable teachings of the church. Add to that lineage dating back to the pioneers, it will never be erased. I don't mind the reaction of making a casserole for every problem but beyond that, the racism that exists within the church is disgusting. SO when someone told me I hadn't repented enough for having a black child, I left. I will be damaged but they won't damage my child.

I wish they would go someplace else to establish their "perfect" society, "god's kingdom on earth," or whatever it is they call their dictatorial christofasicst state and leave the rest of us alone.

But they won't :(

It takes strength to remember, it takes another kind of strength to forget, it takes a hero to do both. People who remember court madness through pain, the pain of the perpetually recurring death of their innocence; people who forget court another kind of madness, the madness of the denial of pain and the hatred of innocence; and the world is mostly divided between madmen who remember and madmen who forget. Heroes are rare.

– James Baldwin

I'm afraid it is a lifelong battle.

You are welcome. I've read it many many times and still love it like a good poem.

I think I see where you are going with this Elder Berry. You may be calling me a hero haha.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free

?????

Most people end up with a few unhealthy habits in their cult life. The brain works like normal in the cult except it does not keep the personal emotions stored from specific experiences. Connection and personal intuition are not allowed.


When you are out and traumatised and experience thousands of new pieces everyday of forgotten emotions that should have been connected to memories, the people inside the cult just keep on sleep-walking in their rote-learning slumber pushing emotions away.

You are getting things together again that has been separated. You are watching a really bad and hurting movie in your mind.

Yep, you got it. Very well said.

i made almost 200 youtube videos to set the record straight ,my transition out of mormonism. grace changes everything by darryl kirky perth western australia happy easter everyone



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/16/2022 10:10AM by australianmanxyz234.

I made a lot of videos also to help my transition out. I saw sir david the bard do it and he said it was better than going to a counselor for a 100 bucks a pop so i made videos also to see if it would work for me and i do believe it helped me to a degree all my videos that is.

If you were in Mormonism a long time, I think healing is ongoing and you're never really recovered because it shaped (or stole) so much of your life. I've been out of the church eight years after being in it for over forty years, but there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about the church and go through all the emotions in my head: sadness, relief, anger, etc.

I liken leaving the church to having a large wound. It's slow to heal, but when it does, it leaves a jagged, nasty scar. The scar sometimes bothers you or itches. The itch makes you scratch the scar from time to time and the wound gets red or bleeds all over again. Over time, you become accustomed to the scar and you try to remind yourself to leave it alone and focus on other things, but the scar is always there as a reminder of your trauma.

Yep, why I still share my unpleasantries of living the Mormon nightmare.