Are you baptized for the dead?

Haha ha. Put down the bong and back slowly away.

But it's the weekend and a holiday one at that!

Gives a whole new meaning to “one foot in the grave.”

I've got one foot in the grave and the other foot on a banana peel.

Mormons: "God has called (insert name) home after being baptized into the one true church!"

Person who died: "Worst. Baptist. Ever!"



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/01/2022 09:02PM by ookami.

Hmmm, if baptism washes away sin, and you die before you get a chance to sin, that would be an express ticket to the CK.

If you pass gas in the baptismal font, the bubbles smell like flowers.

Would they confirm a dead body?

Would they prop it up at GC?

The first time i wanted to die was when i was 8 years old after baptism because it was believed by many adults that if you passed away after baptism then you would go straight to the celestial kingdom because you were completely perfect at that point. I learned later in life when talking to certain people that i was not the only kid that thought this way after baptism.

Anyways i know this is kind of a morbid and a downer post and i apologize but i just wanted to make it known that this is a reality for many 8 year olds in that religion i am pretty sure if i was not the only one.

Thanks for that Adam. I had a similar experience. After my baptism I tried really hard not to sin but upon stealing a thrift store (discounted) hostess ding dong from the family freezer because I was hungry I cursed God to strike me dead because I was so angry at him for his plan of salvation. I had thought that I had done many many (I am the black sheep) sins before I was baptized but that they didn't count. Now I had a real one to deal with.

I was 8.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/03/2022 07:53AM by Elder Berry.

My line of thought was why get baptised?

If you could live your life, die, then get baptised, wouldn't a lifetime of sin be forgiven?

Does your sole get repossessed ?

Dave the Atheist Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Does your sole get repossessed ?


No, but it will spoil if you don't save it in the refrigerator or freeze it.

People have been sent to outer darkness because of their footwear.

Dave the Atheist Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> People have been sent to outer darkness because of
> their footwear.


Did you wear your shoes in the baptismal bathtub?

You still haven't been confirmed.

It's the real life equivalent of the blue screen of death on a computer.

You're in limbo.

Do you really need the holy ghost in the afterlife? Confirmation isn't a saving ordinance is it?

I wonder how nutty the responses might get if you advertised on Craigslist that you would bestow the gift of Holy McGhost for just $5 a head?

Giving Holy head(s.) Interesting concept.