the great god lono ~


in ancient times ~


lived in considerable style ~


on the hill sides of the big island of hawaii ~


the great god lono's wife was very beautiful goddess ~


an the great god lono devoted his life to her ~


one day the great god lono overheard a traveling salesman proposing that she elope with him ~


without waiting to hear her reply ~


the great god lono killed the traveling salesman ~


then the great god lono began inquiring of his wife ~ "wtf ???" ~


she complained that her sensitive nature was injured by such an inquisition ~


an she went away in tears ~


the great god lono instantly began to repent his hasty conduct as she walked away ~


the great god lono sat him down under a coconut tree to await her certain return ~


intending to receive her again with such tokens of affection and contrition as should restore her confidence in him ~


and drive away all sorrow from her heart ~


but hour after hour winged its tardy flight and yet the goddess did not return ~


the sun set and left the great god lono desolate ~


the great god lono's all-wise instincts may have warned him that the separation was final ~


but the great god lono hoped on ~


as darkness covered the island ~


the great god lono built a great beacon fire in his courtyard to guide his wandering wife home again perchance she had become lost ~


the night waxed and waned and brought another day but not his goddess ~


every day the great god lono searched the island but found no trace of her ~


every night the great god lono set his beacon fires afire again and kept his lonely watch ~


but still ~


she did not return ~


every new day found the great god lono a despairing and broken-hearted god ~


finally the misery of the great god lono could no longer brook the suspense and the solitude ~


so the great god lono set out in a boat to look for her ~


the great god lono told his sympathetic devotees that he was going to search throughout the islands of the world for the lost light of his life ~


an that he would never return until he found her ~


we exmos implicitly believe that the great god lono is still pursuing his patient quest ~


an that ~


should the great god lono find his peer-less spouse again ~


that the great god lono will return ~


and so ~


for ages exmos have waited and watched in trusting simplicity for the great god lono's return ~


for ages exmos gaze wistfully over the sea for any strange appearance upon its waters ~


thinking it might be their loved and lost protector the great god lono ~


but the great god lono is to exmos as the rainbow-tinted future seen in happy visions of youth ~


for the great god lono never returns ~


+++

for ages exmos have waited and watched in trusting simplicity for the great god lono's return ~


for ages exmos gaze wistfully over the sea for any strange appearance upon its waters ~


thinking it might be their loved and lost protector the great god lono ~


but the great god lono is to exmos as the rainbow-tinted future seen in happy visions of youth ~


for the great god lono never returns ~

I guess this means spontaneous erections for me are a thing of the past. :(

I'm guessing the great god lono and his lost love are both too old to be out shaking coconuts. Aging is not kind, even for gods.
Maybe they don't want to risk killing another traveling salesmen.

I have zero idea what ziller is going on about, to be honest, but I like the happy visions of youth and rainbow bits. :-\

/:

We are looking for "strange appearance upon its waters" because we are afraid Mormonism is true and Satan is coming...






Nope.

The great God loner can stick a great load of some Hawaiian stuff in his coconut pipe and do whatever it is gods do wherever they have got to these days. Hell they could still be hanging out in a groove in New York State.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/26/2022 04:31PM by Elder Berry.

And when they found out he wasn't, they killed him.


https://www.grin.com/document/124335

https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/captain-cook-killed-in-hawaii

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lono

Some Native Hawaiians may have misidentified Captain James Cook as Lono's incarnation, which may have later caused Cook's death (see Third voyage of James Cook). It is uncertain whether Cook was mistaken for the god Lono, or one of several historical or legendary figures also named Lono-i-ka-Makahiki. It was traditionally held that the god Lono had appeared as a human who then established games and the annual taxing. Before departing to "Kahiki", he promised to return "by sea on the canoes ʻAuwaʻalalua". An unidentified queen identified it as a "Spanish man of war", recalling the alleged arrival of a Spanish galleon. Mary Pukui interpreted this as "very large double canoe", from ʻAu[hau]-waʻa-l[o]a-lua. However, Pukui may have been referring to the Portuguese man o' war, which Hawaiians called ʻAuwaʻalalua.[3]