At least there is somebody to chat with for a whle each sunday.
The talks are ususally uninteresting crap but, what the hell,it passes the time and reinforces my perception that it is all a ludicrous con game and a big joke.Once in a while somebody actually says something worth hearing!
It is mostly like playing a mind game and I really don't have a lot to oocupy my time.
THEY want to be deceptive? OK No problem Let's all play the game for fun

I told my wife I'd never ask her to attend my (then) church if she didn't ask me to attend mass. And we never did. Since she died almost 5 years so, church...any church, has never entered my thoughts as a place I'd want to be. A pub for a pint or 3 with like minded folk, yes.

Desertrat, I thought you were going to meetings because you are living with TBM family members.

Honestly, I would look into joining other groups if you want to meet people. Meetup.com will have some ideas for you. Look into book groups, hiking groups, birding groups, or whatever you like. If you want to meet a potential partner specifically, look into the dating apps (i.e. Match.com, SilverSingles.com, etc.) Everyone I know uses the dating apps to meet potential partners. Volunteering is another idea -- try the library, Habitat for Humanity, the animal shelter, the hospital, historic properties, etc.

ETA: I also like LR's idea to try the pub, especially if there are sports teams that you like to follow.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/14/2022 12:07PM by summer.

summer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
I have been looking but this is Utah and the opportunities are limited.I am not whinning and whimpering I am just trying to survive. i don't know which way to jump sometimes and may timme I try to do the right thing ad it turns out wrong. Without this forum I would go nuts!!!>

Desertrat, I thought you were going to meetings
> because you are living with TBM family members.
>
> Honestly, I would look into joining other groups
> if you want to meet people. Meetup.com will have
> some ideas for you. Look into book groups, hiking
> groups, birding groups, or whatever you like. If
> you want to meet a potential partner specifically,
> look into the dating apps (i.e. Match.com,
> SilverSingles.com, etc.) Everyone I know uses the
> dating apps to meet potential partners.
> Volunteering is another idea -- try the library,
> Habitat for Humanity, the animal shelter, the
> hospital, historic properties, etc.
>
> ETA: I also like LR's idea to try the pub,
> especially if there are sports teams that you like
> to follow.

If you live in Salt Lake try the Unitarian Church and 13th east about seventh S.. Nice people, no pressure, good luck.

Maybe there is a Senior Citizen center there. Sometimes they have lunch schedules for seniors and activities with people who are potentially looking for people to visit with.

That's a great idea. When it became clear that my mom was in need of being closer to her children, we brought her to Maryland. The senior centers were a lifesaver to her in terms of getting established. She belonged to three of them!

I hangout at the senior center. It is probaby just me

Read Nightingale's post below, and take it to heart. *Don't rush things.* Take friendships slowly, and that includes friendships with women.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/15/2022 12:40AM by summer.

This is very true with a large population in utah that are mormon surely there has to be a wide variety of opinions, not everyone can be a hard ass, a mcConkie, there's probably a lot of non literal believers, folks who go for evolution, lgbtq rights, science believers, I ride around salt lake and seriously like everywhere house in sugar house Flys that sin about 'love is love, science is science, evolution is a fact and let's not forget blm!

Maca Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> there's probably a lot of non
> literal believers, folks who go for evolution,
> lgbtq rights, science believers,

Likely if you've gone off one faith or all of them, especially the ones that demand total subsumation, you'd prefer to seek elsewhere for recreation and friendship.

It would likely take time to weed out the degree of this or that person's belief but if you're not into it yourself then likely any degree is too much.


> I ride around
> salt lake and seriously like everywhere house in
> sugar house Flys that sin about 'love is love,
> science is science, evolution is a fact and let's
> not forget blm!

I can't interpret this - it seems a bit scrambled. I was trying to understand your point.


To DR: All of the above suggestions on this thread sound like great ideas for you to try. Going to a group event that centres around a common interest is likely not only going to be enjoyable for you but is often a good way to meet people. And people know people who you could potentially also meet from there.

Don't be too over-eager about a specific objective. Just be genuinely interested in the main theme of the group (i.e. photography or whatever) and focus on what you can bring to the party rather than solely on what you are seeking.

Again, I'm sorry you've lost the companionship of your wife. There is no doubt that is one of life's most major losses and long term grief-inducing experiences. It can be a shock to learn, by living it, that the pain is complex and enduring.

I think I mentioned before that I attended a community grief group once, run by a local hospice society, after the death of a good few relatives and friends in a short period of time. I felt bereft and even weirdly confused - I had to keep a list of all the names of those who had passed away because my brain couldn't seem to keep track of who all was gone. It can help to chat to others with similar immediate concerns in life. But it's also good to pursue endeavours completely away from that focus. Meet new folks, learn new things.

Sometimes one can be fortunate and serendipity comes calling. You have to be out there in the world though to catch it.

Be genuine in your professed interests. Don't rush people. Don't be needy. Bring something to the table. Express interest in others. Be patient. Pursue an interest for its own sake and see where that takes you.

And don't be a one-note charlie.

Good luck. I wish you well.

I was just wondering if Mormonism is okay if you are in on the joke. Apparently, it's doable.

I totally get it.

You are not a believer, but this is where you came from, and this is where you want to go back to, maybe if just to get a fresh take on why you left.

When you leave the LDS church, you leave your community and it is not always possible to build a new one. I have tried. I have failed. Sometimes I go to meeting at an LDS church. Mostly I wished I hadn't.

But still, it was something that was once a part of me, and maybe still is. The name of this board is Recovery from Mormonism, but some people never recover.

If you go to church from time to time, and you get something positive from it, then keep going. As long as you don't get in religious arguments, who can it hurt?

I personally will never set foot in an LDS church again. But I did attend services once in a while for a bit, just to get a new perspective on things.

It's hard to let go of something that is in your DNA.

Lois