Date: July 14, 2011 02:47PM
where he basically said stimulating another's genitals with any of your own body parts, outside of marriage, was fornication (I'm paraphrasing and too lazy to look it up exactly). I was an RM at the time and remember the shock of some of the other RM's because they now had to confess "dry-humping." I think they even had "wet-humping," or something like that where action was skin to skin but not inserting. Soaking is a new one on me, and I can't see how they would rationalize that it's not a confession-level sin. Oral and masturbation were always considered confession-level sins.
If you're not familiar with how the church/BYU works, read on. Sins of a certain degree cannot be forgiven without confession, face-to-face with a bishop - and sometimes to a group of leaders. If you want to have a clear conscience, you can pretty much commit all the sins up to the point of a confession-level sin, then repent through prayer and take the sacrament on Sunday - bam! clean slate. Rinse, Repeat. However, if you "know" the clearing of a sin requires confession (intercourse, masturbation, petting, heavy petting, etc.) then you draw the line to avoid the humiliation and repercussion of confession (probation, dis-fellowship, excommunication, banned from the NCAA basketball team, kicked out of BYU, etc.). So if you do a bad one, your brain programming (conscience) will eat at you until you can't take it and you go to the bishop to clear your slate. Some people are less prone to their conscience and will wait for a major life-event to confess all, like before a mission, before marriage, death, etc. They have really cracked down though on pre-mission repentance, under the "raising the bar" baloney. Two things that happen especially at BYU are that the person(s) (in the tango) with the stronger programming will break down and confess first OR a witness, like a roommate, will rat them out. The BYU honor code actually imputes the sin to the witness if the witness does not report. So a witness may have the same pains of conscience until they report. When an LDS person confesses, the bishop will always try to find out if the tango partner is LDS, and if that person has confessed. If not, phone calls are made and a clerk schedules an appointment saying "the bishop wants to talk to you." The bishop can then ask the second person if there is anything they want to get off their chest. This usually sends the second person spiraling into confession. The bishop may even up the ante and feign that “the spirit of discernment” indicated to him that there was something that needed to be discussed.
So, the trick is really to find a sexually gratifying maneuver (for all participants) that doesn’t peak the confession meter in the brain. Therefore, the behavior of an LDS person seeking to obtain an out-of-marriage orgasm in a non-standard way, rather than being fetish behavior (as it may appear to an objective observer), is actually a conscience-rationalized confession-less solution. It is all the sad offspring from unprotected, non-consensual mind-fucking.