https://itsthevibe.com/mormon-facts/?spadid=43669552&spcampid=8864357&utm_source=taboola&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=itv_us_d_taboola_56936_8864357&utm_content=3627897870&sppubid=buzzfeedinc-huffpostus&cpc=V9y8yoqdM0akGLPwG7Yq8a6Hr97IAL691nfNpGa7suE=&tblci=GiDTNKrvdxokvpCOQQJ7HKqqgFkI6li086hGDB11yqxINyDWmksopb2ZqerqluNp&spcid=aa37e2e8684aef344cd40e3752d81954&d_cpc=MC4xMw==

Some of these I've never heard of,

The Earth turning into a crystal?
I don't remember hearing anything about that.
Of course there's a lot I didn't hear about, because it was a lying secretive Doomsday CULT.

D&C 130:9

"This earth, in its sanctified and immortal state, will be made like unto crystal and will be a Urim and Thummim to the inhabitants who dwell thereon, whereby all things pertaining to an inferior kingdom, or all kingdoms of a lower order, will be manifest to those who dwell on it; and this earth will be Christ's."

I guess it wasn't so secret,
but that was never really the topic of any discussion or lesson I ever heard or gave as a Mormon missionary. That was just something we ignored, like a lot of Mormonism.

At the time I was Mormon, it seemed like some of the "bizarre beliefs of Mormonism" were just folksy old fashioned beliefs that were kind of quaint and endearing.
I had heard those from mostly from rabid Anti-Mormon Christians, who really just wanted me to believe in their brand of Christianity that looked nothing like my idea of "Christlike".

"I like your Christ. I just wish Christians would act more like him." Gandhi

JoD 7:163 (BY, 6/5/1859)

https://contentdm.lib.byu.edu/digital/collection/JournalOfDiscourses3/id/2981/rec/8

"And this world, so benighted at present, and so lightly esteemed by infidels, as observed by brother Clements, when it becomes celestialized, it will be like the sun, and be prepared for the habitation of the Saints, and be brought back into the presence of the Father and the Son. It will not then be an opaque body as it now is, but it will be like the stars of the firmament, full of light and glory: it will be a body of light. John compared it, in its celestialized state, to a sea of glass."


JoD 9:87 (BY, 5/7/1861)

https://contentdm.lib.byu.edu/digital/collection/JournalOfDiscourses3/id/3825/rec/10

"This earth, when it becomes purified and sanctified, or celestialized, will become like a sea of glass; and a person, by looking into it, can know things past, present, and to come; though none but celestialized beings can enjoy this privilege. They will look into the earth, and the things they desire to know will be exhibited to them, the same as the face is seen by looking into a mirror."

JS was simply picking up where the bible left off.

Rev. 4:6, Rev. 15:2.

There are also dozens of references to God living in fire.

Aside from the obvious, I have a couple of additional questions that one MIGHT ask when presented with this doctrine:

1) Does anyone opine who our (Earth's) god was when he was just an ordinary man walking around on earth? Is anyone related?

2) will all planets turn into giant crystals at the same time? If not, can people on other planets see the big crystal we become, even if they cannot see into it?

I'll stop there. I just wonder how these questions get answered.

I used to joke that Elohim was probably a clerk at the DMV in his former earthly existence, but I got pushback from people saying that was unfair to DMV clerks, who are generally patiently doing a sometimes difficult job. Elohim, OTOH, can be a jerk.

I also think that if El is real, then this is his first attempt at creating a world. Coming up with a rock in a hat as a communication device less than 200 years before the iPhone is not impressive work.

2) Of course not all planets get twinkled at the same time. Each has its own timeline. New planets are being created all the time. Didn't you pay attention in seminary?

And planets, whether twinkled or not, are too far away to see, unless God reveals them to us in celestial YouTube videos.

All the twinkled planets are powered by Kolob, which is like a God-sized wireless network router.

The nice thing about Mormonism, is that it is easy to answer all the questions, provided you ignore reality. And for the tricky questions, there is always "God will sort it out."

Thank you, Brother Of Jerry. I am comforted by your superior knowledge. I think that El was one of the moderators on a music support site I visit. You know, be an arsehole first, then provide the service. And I really want to see this router! If it has a GUI for management, it must be spectacular.

Brother Of Jerry Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
...

> The nice thing about Mormonism, is that it is easy
> to answer all the questions, provided you ignore
> reality. And for the tricky questions, there is
> always "God will sort it out."
...

This along with "it is not for us to know" are surely the last best answers of all cockamamie religions. As far as I know though, LDS is the only one that gets to use shelves.

Lots of religions have shelves. Jesus will return in <pick a date>. When the date passes, that prophesy goes on the shelf.

Scientology has more shelves than your local Home Depot. Xenu?

ETA: and the usual Mo "get out of jail free" card is "that is not essential to our salvation."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/30/2023 12:42PM by Brother Of Jerry.

Brother Of Jerry Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
...
> ETA: and the usual Mo "get out of jail free" card
> is "that is not essential to our salvation."
...

Oh my dear god. Of course. In other words "don't bother your pretty little head about that."

Brother Of Jerry Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Coming up with
> a rock in a hat as a communication device less
> than 200 years before the iPhone is not impressive
> work.

Thanks for the belly laugh to start my morning. I'm going to write that one down. :)

A little known fact is that Elohim finished in the lower 10% of his class in God School.

Explains a lot, doesn't it?

With all these concepts, there are two questions: (1) do the leaders actively teach them? and (2) do the members actually believe them?

In many cases the answers are (1) no, and (2) yes. Therein lies the maddening thing about Mormonism.

If so, my favorite addition would be:  Elohim's spermatozoa have wings and they never die.  And that's the way it'll be with Jesus and every new ghawd!

This is why the Universe was set up to expand FOREVER!!!!  (cue maniacal laughter...)

When do I get to be celestialized ?

So I created my own

-Why the wealthiest church on the planet requires young people to pay their own way to proselytize its church.

-Tithing (see above)

-Mormon weddings in the temple

-Mormon funerals and why it's not OK to share funny memories of the recently departed

-Mormon health code (makes no sense to connective brain tissue)

-Why Mormons will invite you to their church, but won't attend yours

-Why women don't wear pants inside the chapel

-Why Mormons aren't free to attend a ward they like

-Why General Conference is so exciting when the same talks are regurgitated year after year

What wasn’t on the list but would be if an ExMo wrote it,

#1. Mormons believe Joseph Smith is second only to Jesus Christ, in terms of what they have done for humanity.

#2. Joseph Smith is worthy of 16million Mormons singing his praises, despite the well documented FACT, he had 34 wives, 11 of whom were married to his followers and another 11 of whom were teenagers as young as 14.

#3. Joseph Smith is now ‘mingling with Gods’ in the Celestial Kingdom (Mormon only Heaven) where he will judge us in the next life, like Jesus.

#4. They believe in a God who ‘cursed’ two entire races of humans with dark skin for the sins of their Fathers, as a ‘mark’ to make it clear to the righteous (white and delightsome) tribe, not to mingle with the cursed (black skinned) people.

#5. They still believe Polygamy is the ‘True order of marriage’ and will be practiced in the next life and the only reason God ever had us stop practicing polygamy is because America (the Promised Land) wasn’t ready to go back to practicing that last vestige of barbarism.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/08/2023 08:53PM by schrodingerscat.