Posted by:
blackcoatsdaughter
(
)
Date: April 10, 2023 09:51PM
I just wanted to make a small thread. Had a glass of wine, unwinding after a long day and feeling warm and peaceful.
Thinking back over my journey post shelf break, how much has changed about me over the years and how instrumental this place has been. I come and go, my activity going through cycles. Sometimes I just like to quietly read. Sometimes I don't visit at all. But I always come back.
I simply wanted to say thank you before rationality knocked the sentimentality out of me. Thank you to those who have donated to keep this place here for all of us. It really is a special corner of the internet.
I keep thinking about how angry I used to be. How determined I was to get blood for what I had suffered, what I had lost. When truly, it was just my wounded ego. Nobody likes to recognize they've been made a fool of and for all my sheltered youth and angsty repressed adulthood, truthfully, having my trust victimized was what hurt the most. But at the end of the day the rage of "any target will do" fades to reveal boney edges.
I like the mirror this place holds up to you. A mirror that was often smoky in the church or superimposed with both Jesus and JS, so unclear in who you were supposed to see, who to look for. I can make a thread or spout an opinion and get a variety of challenges or validation for it. And it helps the process of self-reflection as I continue to define and adjust and define who I am. And the work continues during the times I step away from here. The skeleton recovers the flesh.
I wanted to talk more but I'll leave it at that. You're a wonderful group of peers to have. You have made me better and you all should be proud of who you've become after Mormonism.