We have this colleague down the hall who always tells too much. He’s the life of the lunchroom, usually. Well we all knew his son was getting in trouble at school. Smart kid, probably bored. Well the son got his butt beat at school by the “big bad bully.”

Gary, the Mormon from insurance, said: “What did your son tell the bully right before he was punched in the face?”

The guy down the hall then told us that his son told the bully: “I’m the boy your dad can’t stop thinking about.”

Everyone but the Mormons were in stitches just now as we recounted this story. The Mormons were perplexed, thinking about what the boy was implying. They couldn’t wrap their minds around what happened.

(By the way, the guy’s son is an attention seeker. He went to school as a ziploc bag for Halloween, and he’s done more attention seeking since.)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/12/2023 07:44PM by newcomer.

I can't remember when I started laughing at jokes like this. I think fairly early into the experience.

I remember Robert Kirby wrote a column about mormons not being able to laugh at themselves. He put something in the genealogy library (small local one) about not being able to do temple work for the Dutch I believe. It was after they were told they couldn't submit work for Jews. He said there was a bigger reaction than he thought there would be. People were very upset and even more upset when they found out who did it.

It sounded like a story where contention was brewing and I didn't get the humor. I'm just programmed to think in such situations on what to do in case someone dies.

I got to reach into their wallets, get their ID, and then get the temple work records submitted so the missionaries can visit the newly deceased in the Spirit Prison cell in short order to nag them into accepting the baptism performed for them.

During the temple open house, I went into the sealing room. You know, the one with double mirrors, a small table and 50 witness chairs. There were two sisters with those smug faces as they had the prized privilege of standing there. They thought they had the best assignment.

I asked which way is north?

One spoke up- I have no idea. Why would north be important?

I replied- To know where Salt Lake City is. That's your church headquarters. Do the men face towards Salt Lake during a sealing?

I thought it was funny, the sisters did not.

Saint Peter had a group of recent arrivals in heaven. -And over on the right, we have a place Catholics. The next right, we have a spot for Methodists. On the left, we have a section for Protestants. And when we walk to the top of the hill, we have to be extra quiet.

Someone asked- Why do we need to be quiet on the hilltop?

Saint Peter smiled- That's where the Mormons are residing. They think they're the only ones in heaven.

A few members chuckled at my dad's joke, but others would tell him off for being irreverent.

A engaged couple die in a car crash on the way to their wedding. While waiting to get into heaven, they decide they still want to be married and ask Saint Peter to find them a priest to marry them. Saint Peter goes off to find a priest and the couple get to talking. While waiting, they realize that eternity is a long time and their marriage might not last that long, so they agree they should sign a prenup just in case. Saint Peter returns and tells them he found a priest to marry them and they ask if he can go find a lawyer to draft the prenup. Saint Peter breaks his clipboard over his knee and shouts, "It took me three hours to find a priest in there, do you have ANY idea how long it'll take to find a LAWYER?!"

(chuckle)
A high priest passed away in priesthood meeting. 5 brethren were hauled out before they got the right one.


what do you call an LDS on lsd? a high priest

newcomer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> The guy down the hall then told us that his son
> told the bully: “I’m the boy your dad can’t
> stop thinking about.”

Is the joke that the boy is implying that the other kid's father is into young boys? That's something that would get a kid punched in high school.

One of my favorites is, "You know that thing your girlfriend/wife does that you like? I taught her that." That's a sure fire way to get punched in the mouth, which is why I've never used it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/19/2023 10:20AM by T-Bone.