This story is courtesy of NPR.

https://www.npr.org/2024/07/07/nx-s1-5026948/conservatives-in-red-states-turn-their-attention-to-ending-no-fault-divorce-laws

Blurb from the site:

"After decades of no-fault divorce law, some conservatives want to make it harder to end marriages on the basis of irreconcilable differences. NPR's Ayesha
Rascoe talks with Joanna Grossman of Southern Methodist University about the push-back."

Now, from the transcript, here is one of Mrs. Rascoe's questions and Dr. Grossman's answer.

"RASCOE: Well, what happened after no-fault divorce went into effect?

GROSSMAN: What we saw was a decrease in female suicide. We saw a decrease in domestic abuse of wives. We saw a decrease in homicide of women by intimate
partners. And we also saw generally, people feeling more able to control their lives - right? - that they were not stuck in unhappy marriages. So we did
see an increase in the divorce rate initially, but since then, the divorce rate has pretty steadily declined."

As Dr. Grossman points out later in the interview, this is all about recovering the male patriarchy. Bletch! And I say this as a 61-year-old sightless Caucasian male.

Yes, it's more of their efforts to control women. They don't care if women die or are unhappy, as long as they are controlled.

I vividly remember when the no-fault option first became available in California (mid 70s?). It was clearly understood that all good Mormons would be opposed.

I seem to recall that some time ago, Louisiana was discussing having a type of marriage that would be tougher to dissolve. Couples could have the option of having a regular marriage or the tougher-to-dissolve marriage. It appears that the idea is still in circulation. I personally think that it's a terrible idea. You would get situations such as you have in Brazil where married people simply move on to their next partner.

Couples that get married should both know each others plans, dreams, and desires. They should have talked it over if not prayed together concerning their rolls and beliefs.

When a couple pledges to love, honor, and cherish --- for better or worse for as long as they both shall live ---- IT SHOULD MEAN SOMETHING!

Nipper,
Yeah, that all sounds good and I think most people are sincere when they make vows but then life gets in the way. Part of the problem is couples getting married young (like me). Dreams, plans, desires are good, but it doesn't always work out. And the "For better or worse" stuff, well it depends. Job loss, sickness are in the former category but then there's physical abuse, drug and alcohol issues which isn't covered under "for better or worse".

True. People change and grow, and not always in the same way as their spouse. They should decide how to have the happiest life for themselves and everyone involved. No one deserves to be trapped in a marriage because one spouse controls all the resources either. People should stay in a relationship because they want to be in the relationship.

I've been married close to 50 years. Neither of us are remotely the same people we were when we got married.

Also, the pledge to love, honor, and cherish applies to gay and nontraditional families too. However, some conservatives want them to be excluded.

Love is always a good thing, and so is being able to be happy.

This!

You don't figure out you married a psycho until after you're married.

True that.

bradley Wrote:
------------------------------------
> You don't figure out you married a
> psycho until after you're married.


    The ever-so-necessary "your fault" divorce!

Ah yes, the we prayed about it and discussed our dreams bit.

Reality Check! Some people are good stage actors!

Yes, all that you said was done. Suddenly I discover within 6 months that I have a spouse who thrives on attention, so she bats her eyes and goes after every male that pays a moments attention. This also included 19 to 21 year old missionaries.

Which is followed with the realization that another well established trait is laziness and refusal to work to pay bills. Also refuses to do anything around the house, and spends money like the Federal Government. Which is followed by discovering that the spouse is Borderline Personality Disorder with Bipolar Tendencies. Which is followed by refusal to take any medication to control those Atlas rocket ignition emotional bursts, and counseling to control said outbursts.

Two decades of pure hell, trying to hold to that commitment! While Bishops and Stake Presidents just said to "pray about it", and "its part of Gods plan". One bishop slapped me on the shoulder and said "Good Luck".

It so easy to say "we prayed about it" and "committed ourselves". How convenient! What a bunch of BS.

Organized religion is a joke to me, because it is so clueless when it comes to reality.

Divorce saved me financially, emotionally, and physically. And if I had to stay in that marriage for eternity, then hell would have been a better alternative.

littlenipper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Couples that get married should both know each
> others plans, dreams, and desires. They should
> have talked it over if not prayed together
> concerning their rolls and beliefs.
>
> When a couple pledges to love, honor, and cherish
> --- for better or worse for as long as they both
> shall live ---- IT SHOULD MEAN SOMETHING!

It does mean something. It means AT THE TIME they wanted to get married. People change - why not recognize that and not force them to stay together for someone else's prejudices and beliefs?

Remember that Brigham Young had at least FIVE divorces.

BoydKKK Wrote:
--------------------------------------
>
> It does mean something. It means AT THE TIME they
> wanted to get married. People change - why not
> recognize that and not force them to stay together
> for someone else's prejudices and beliefs?

Very good points. We can follow our own drummer & accept that others should be free to choose theirs.

“When a couple pledges to love, honor, and cherish --- for better or worse for as long as they both shall live ---- IT SHOULD MEAN SOMETHING!”

It should mean something, but what it should NOT mean is that you must stay together no matter how toxic and/or abusive the relationship becomes.

People aren’t static. Goals change. Priorities change. Situations change. My wife and I are very different people than we were when we first met. Fortunately for us, our evolution as individuals has been compatible with our evolution as a couple. For many people, it doesn’t work that way. Marriage shouldn’t be a life sentence for those who want to (or need to) get out.

Yes, many people are fortunate to meet a partner who turns out to be good for them long term. Others not. If a relationship is beyond repair moving on is a reasonable option.

I don't know what drives these guys.

But I do know they want to erase the last one hundred and sixty years of progress.

Their made up religion tells them that anything against white male patriarchy is a "sin" or work of the Devil, or some other similar nonsense.

I had a friend when I was in my early 20s who was an RM, married in the temple, very nice family. Anyway, the wife decided she wasn't in love with him anymore (she had already stopped having sex). My friend was distraught and I said, "Please tell me you're not praying about it". He replied , "Oh, it's way past praying".

        A joke from Reddit:

Wife:  I wish I had bigger boobs...

Hubs:  Well, how about...  Naah...

Wife:  What?!

Hubs:  What if you rubbed toilet paper between your boobs?

Wife:  What?!!  That's ridiculous!!!

Hubs:  Maybe so, but it worked for your butt!




    Who would be at fault in this divorce?

The person who thought up the joke.