A relative will soon be doing temple work for my other relative who was ADAMANT about NOT wanting temple work done.

The stock Church answer is the person can choose to reject it later.

Not good enough.

Please help me compose a respectful but strongly worded clear message about honoring the wishes of the deceased

Tell her that you will spray paint the word, "Satanist" on her headstone one day because she will be dead and her wishes won't matter. She will be free to accept or decline in the afterlife.

I do like Summer's idea. A lot. I would go further though and pay to have the Satanist etched into the grave stone along with the upside down pentagram.

I would tell her that honor matters and respect matters and what she is about to do proves she is devoid of both.

She is not "saving" your relative. She is effectively kicking her while she is down.

Say you prayed about it, and the relative appeared to you in a vision. He told you that Mormons will be surprised that no one in the afterlife cares about their baptisms.

Seriously, Mormons are pushy and disrespectful about this topic. They need to justify their temple nonsense busywork for dead people. It's their way of linking to ancestors, unfortunately.

I don't think any insult or strongly worded retort will help.

You could say the relative would be disappointed at how little they respected him. Why can't they allow how he used his "agency" that they claim is so important? If they say "God will fix it" for their genealogy screw ups, certainly God can fix it if his wishes were respected.

The more strongly you object, the more convinced they are that you *need* temple ordinances, whether you want them or not.

I understand the frustration with this kind of behavior since this ceremony was performed for my deceased father. Step back and look at the big picture, it's all just BS. The relative in question is a pompous Ahole, why say anything to them?

I don't really see how this can be enforced. I have a friend who told me he did not want to be necrobaptized and he died years ago. I don't really have any power to prevent that.

The only thing I can think if is putting something in a will. It would have to be a legal test case.

"You could say the relative would be disappointed at how little they respected him"

I mentioned to my younger brother at my fathers funeral (my father being dressed in temple clothes) that I told my youngest that under no circumstances was I to be buried in temple clothes. Both my son and brother are atheists.

My brother swore an oath to me that if alive he would fly in and create havoc if needed to assist my son in making sure that I would be buried in my best suit. My mother was buried in a nice dress thanks to my brother.

In regards to your question.........."damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead"!

"I need to make it clear, as respectfully as I can. 'xxxx' and I, and 'xxxx' as well, all felt unwaveringly that we did not want any kind of LDS temple work done in our names. Those wishes go to our very core. It is who we are. And I hope with all my heart that those boundaries will be honored. I could give a hundred reasons that inform this choice of ours, but it really makes no difference. The point of the matter is that person’s integrity should be recognized and observed."

Well done! They deserve to know how unwelcome their actions are.

(They will still think they know better than you, and you'll thank them in the afterlife. LOL)

Tell them "sounds like a good idea" as it will now put them on par with Adolf Hitler & Josef Staling and Ted Bundy as having Temple work done for them.

and other sexual perverts & murderers.

Don't overlook them!

Your letter is well done, Twinkler. This has happened to many relatives in my large Mormon extended family. In each case, the non-Mormon family members tried their best to see that the wishes of the deceased were honored. In many cases, the “Non-Mormon Clause” was clearly written in the Will. This is how these people handled the situation:

The temple rituals are done in SECRET. You could have your own secret ceremony, to neurtalize or undo any temple garbage. (It’s fun to be creative, in a way the deceased would appreciate.) Revenge never worked for me. I’m not that person.

Mormonism is a Narcissistic cult, and many of its followers are “pompous A___” as moehoward points out. "Narcissists and sociopaths” is a better description, and lends a better understanding of how to deal with them.

Narcissists never change.
You can’t reason with Narcissists.
You can’t prevent this from happening.


The only thing you can do is to keep the Narcissist from harming you and hopefully your children. You can wrestle with your own feelings, and reason with yourself that, yes, it is just BS. God--the concept of God that you carry in your heart--your God will straighten things out in the afterlife, if there is one.

The Universe is vast and complex beyond our puny imagination. Life is far greater than small, money-grabbing polygamous con-men. Let them wallow in their own evil greed, arrogance, and ignorance.

You do have the power to let your relative go--I mean go--out of your life. He/she has already let go of you. Think about it. They don’t care about you or your deceased relative.

Concentrate on all your GOOD, caring relatives. Love them all the more. Hug them, thank them on behalf of your realtive who’s funeral it is. Hopefully, all the love at the funeral will overshadow the petty idiocy of the cult. The cult hijacks and ruins funerals and weddings and families.

Do whatever would make you feel better.

(((hugs)))