I was on a temple-cleaning assignment. We were on hands and knees scrubbing the baseboards in the dressing rooms late on a Friday night. It seemed weird.

The thought crossed my mind, "What are normal people doing now?"

I realized that what I was doing was not normal.

When the task concluded, I wandered around offering to help others. I walked into the security office, where guards were watching activities inside and outside of the temple. They are always watching. I suppose they need to watch.

As I saw the areas of the temple that regular members never see, I realized that "the veil" is very thin as they say. Not the veil between Earth and heaven, but the veil between something meant to be spiritual, and the absolute fraud that lives behind the scenes. The church creates a facade for everything.

I knew I was in over my head.

When did you know?

--lieguy--

The big reveal was the first time through the temple. It took me another 12 years to admit to myself that I didn't believe.

I remember what the friend who baptized me told me after he went through the temple before his mission, "I have to wear special underwear now." He made a contorted face.

I thought he was joking. I had never heard of that before. It should have been a huge red flag. Underwear?

Year's later, I realized that this was the moment when he realized that he was in over his head. He continued in the church for another 20 years and ultimately left after a divorce due to religious differences.

--lieguy--

A few months after my divorce from dh after he had come out as a gay man. Went to Bishop to ask for a temple divorce. Bishop: "the church doesn't do that anymore. It will all be worked out in the eternities". Me: "So will he be turned straight then, too?" wringing of hands and hemming and hawing and finally bishop said
"I don't know". In that instant, I knew I was done and I said,
"S---,(not bishop), I'm never coming to you again for counsel. Not only do you NOT have any answers for me, you don't even know the questions!

I am surprised to hear that.

I was told recently that a "cancellation of sealing" can take place for a woman when when she is preparing to be sealed to a new husband.

With everything in the church's handbook, I am blown away at how much that is says is simply made up on the spot.

I imagine this must have been a terrible experience. I'm glad that you made it out.

--lieguy--

When I was molested in the temple. It took over a decade more.

I was molested as a child and teen. I knew this wasn't sacred or holy. But it's something I understand starting from when I was a toddler. There was something familiar yet traumatic and horrific about it.

The old man feeling me up and then wiping his hand on my the thigh.

It felt like religious rape and yet a family familiar thing and my religion was all about family.

I am so sorry that this happened, Elder Berry.

Thanks. I wish LDS would apologize.

Check my post from yesterday or the few that are on here from the last week or two. Guess!

Never felt that I was ever over my head. But I was schooled at the end of my mission as to the true nature of LDS leadership.

I stayed for community and wife which worked for a couple of decades. But that declined as LDS Corp. stopped funding ward activities and other things during that time period.

Then came the shelf examination. As is my analytical nature I determined there was a negative ROI and I walked away. About 99% of LDS Corp. never noticed or cared. Which confirmed my schooling of the nature of LDS leadership and general membership.