mormon expression blogger Glenn Ostlund made a reference to an expired domain where he hosted a collection of mission stories: http://donovanites.org/LDS/other/FrenchApostacy.htm
Is glenn in the exmo scene/come by here? I'd love to read more of what he collected

I ate up the content from http://www.salamandersociety.com/foyer/mishbehave/ over the weekend and now i need MORE!!

Anyone know another site that aggregates missionary apostasy stories?

I went to the Salamander site--I loved the one about the couple with the yacht! Totally priceless!
Thanks!

Susan

... is told by exmo author Willam Shunn, who was deported from Canada for a crime he committed on behalf of the church during his mission:

http://www.shunn.net/podcast/terror.cgi

It is both a frightening and a hilarious story.

A true story told in a spell-binding way.

Thank you for posting this link, "oddcouplet"!

I don't know about aggregated sites, but herein, after approx. 37 years, is my personal confession of disobedience on my mission. In the New England Mission, either me and/or my companion broke the following rules:

1. Alone with a woman;
2. Went swimming;
3. Left our assigned district to visit historical/tourist attractions;
4. Didn't always get up on time, and didn't always stay out working as late as we were supposed to.

I'm sure if I thought hard enough I could think of a few others. After being honorably released from my 2 years of missionary labor, I returned to Brigham Young University, met and married my wife in the temple, graduated, went to law school, and proceeded to hold numerous Bishopric and Stake High Council callings, before finally allowing my reasonable doubts to come to the fore, and then resigning. I now view the LDS Church as a lying, deceitful, fradulent cult.

so how was NYC?

Nagoy Japan late seventies. I got up one Pday morning and decided to go take some pictures of a nearby garden. No one else wanted to go, so I just left. I was gone maybe a couple of hours, and when I got back no one had noticed that I was gone -- or at least didn't say anything.

On the day I was heading home, I left early from one of the outlying cities and unloaded my luggage at the mission home. I told them I had some back accounts to close and headed out by myself. I arranged to meet a girl that I had met while a companion had been in the hospital. We met for lunch and then did some shopping. It was fun and nothing happened -- though now I wish something had.

On my second year of my mission, I called my dad on Fathers' Day.

(My mom had told me that he'd been upset the year before because I called her on Mothers' Day but did not call him on Father's Day. But these were the mission rules: phone calls only on Xmas Day and Mothers' Day.)

My dad was never a member and he did not understand all these silly mission rules. And come to think of it, there is nothing to be understood, as it is all plain stupid.

I was the mission exectutive secretary at the time, so I had a small room for myself, and I was alone part of the time. So I called my dad using the mission telephone.:) (I called collect, so I did not leave a trace.) I just closed the door and called.

I felt kind of bad back then, but now I am proud I did it. Only a sick cult would stand between parents and children like that.

I was pretty much a buttoned-down misshie. However, one of my favorite companions talked me into taking the bullet train from Amsterdam to Frankfurt to see one of his childhood friends who was on a mission there. We had a BBQ, then went back.

I had a stamp in and out of the Netherlands to Germany on my passport, but nobody ever saw it.

Ron

WHAT??? SAY IT AINT SO!! i never woulda guessed!!

I left my mission on a 2 hour road trip to see a temple being built ... funny, it was the temple I eventually got married in. I felt guilty for years and years for that little trip. Spooky Mormon Hell Dream hits the nail on the head.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/25/2011 02:49PM by Major Bidamon.

I was so determined to be obedient, it's no wonder I ran myself to the ground, emotionally. Much of the time I even tried to be MORE obedient than just what the rules said.

Here's my comprehensive list of the worst rule-breakings I committed in my 730-day tenure as missionary:

1) I didn't talk to everyone about the gospel. In fact, I didn't talk to most people who crossed my path on the street. I only talked to maybe 1% of people in my immediate vicinity (though, in fairness, this amounted to tens of thousands of people).

2) I once slept in past 6:30. In fact, I slept in until 9:00 that day, which followed a (mission-approved) midnight mass, and an honest forgetting to set the alarms.

3) A dozen times or so I skipped the required cleaning and studying on P-Day to go out and see a local sight. But I always returned by 6:30 to get back to work.

4) On one such P-Day I went with other elders for a walk down the boardwalk, overlooking the beach. One woman was sunbathing topless, and I didn't avert my gaze for several seconds.

5) I once watched "The Prince of Egypt" in my mission language on a TV at the church with my companion. We also watched several episodes of "Veggie Tales" at the house of a member family, which included several silly songs. Once my companion had business to take care of with a parent of another family, and I had nowhere else to sit but in the living room where the kids were watching "The Three Musketeers." I watched a good solid 5-10 minutes of that completely worldly movie.

6) I never went out tracting when my companion didn't want to, and spent the time instead doing excess studying of the scriptures, ensign, or missionary library, or sometimes reading/writing letters.

7) I sometimes spent a few hours in the houses of members or investigators, just talking, socializing, and having a good time. I never did anything like watch TV, but I wasn't teaching gospel principles either. My only baptism came as a result of doing this.

8) And here's the biggest one that I struggled the most with. I took un-allowed naps almost every day during my personal scripture study, sitting upright in bed or in a chair. I once also took a nap standing full-upright on a moving bus. I took way more naps than the P-Day-only mission rule allowed.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/25/2011 03:46PM by kimball.

...Thanks, Kimball, for reminding me that sinful behavior is not only active in nature (doing the wrong thing), but can also be negative/passive in nature (failing to do the right thing). Now that I see this principle more clearly, my missionary disobedience should be amended to include the following:

1. I neglected to share the gospel at every opportunity. For example, I was waiting in line at a bank, with a person ahead of me and another person behind me. I selfishly and without excuse failed to engage either one of them in a gospel doctrine discussion.

2. During a snow storm in Halifax, Nova Scotia, I accepted without argument my senior companion's faithless decision not to go tracting that morning until the snow blizzard let up. I realize now I should have righteously called him to repentence, and insisted that we go out and do our sacred duty without regard to weather conditions. No wonder we didn't get any baptisms in that area, what with that kind of shameless disobedience.

3. One Sunday evening after Sacrament Meeting, my companion and I were invited to a member-family's home for dinner. After dinner, instead of hurrying off for an extra couple hours of true missionary work, we accepted their invitation to watch The Ten Commandments starring Charleton Heston. If that wasn't bad enough, during a commercial break, the mother and father, along with one of the children and my missionary companion, all jumped up to go into either the kitchen or the bathroom. This left me alone for a good 60-seconds with the 12-year old daughter. Fortunately, I was able to restrain myself from immediately trying to have sex with her. But who knows what could have happened if all the others had stayed gone for another 30 seconds or so. The point is, missionary companions should never, under any circumstances, be separated from their companions. When my companion headed into the bathroom, I should have accompanied him.

Thank you, Kimball, for bringing these shortcomings of mine on my mission back to a bright, burning, recollection.

My pleasure to be the messenger of guilt and unworthiness. ;)

Goes to show that even the most "diligent" missionaries don't measure up. It also sheds light on why the most rebellious missionaries in my mission had the most baptisms.

Dartmouth I'd say... was your house upstairs overlooking the bay?...did you hang at scotia square?

I worked nights delivering milk for the Alta Dena Dairy in southern OC during the last two months of my mission.

I was stationed in Tustin with a wierdo companion and had established a rapport with a couple in the ward. He worked for the dairy and needed help on his route Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I offered to help. We delivered to areas in southern OC (including the home of Reverend Schuler's son of Crystal Cathedral fame).

I made pretty good money and enjoyed being out and about for 5 hours each night.

Eventually it came to a stop when I was dropped off at the apartment and found the AP's waiting for me. They said I needed to come with them, I disagreed, they became more adamant, so I called my co-worker to come pick me up, packed my stuff and left my mission. Sweet relief, although my parents were pretty upset.

With an employer and the money I made in those two months I was able to afford an efficiency apartment on the Tustin/Santa Ana border. I later found another job and lived ans schooled in SoCal until 1993 when I was transferred to CHI.

awesome stories everyone. And now i feel like i was a complete apostate on my mission, although for my mission, i was probably on the more obedient side of the spectrum. My list:

1. daily naps after lunch. the hell we were going to walk around in 100 degree heat and near 100% humidity after stuffing ourselves with undercooked chicken and rice

2. i followed the morning routine for maybe the first month. then sleeping in until just before we had to leave the apartment eventually turned into sleeping in until our lunch appointment.

3. played starcraft over the mission office LAN instead of proselytizing in the evening

4. bought a newspaper once a week and used the nudie pictures on the back for spank material. I lasted about a year in without whacking off. Once I started back up again, though, I quickly made up for the lost time. Felt guilty each time and finally got enough courage to tell my MP, twice. Got a slap on the wrist both times.

5. My last summer I watched most of the big blockbusters at members' homes. Star wars. Batman begins. Fantastic 4. Members were like the MP, they didn't care what we did as long as we baptized.

Throughout my mission I felt somewhat guilty for most of my disobedience. Up until a couple months ago I'd think back on the mish and wonder how much more effective I could have been had I been more mature and taken it a little more seriously. Now when I look back, I regret being so scared/brainwashed of the "eternal consequences" that kept me from doing the really fun stuff, stuff that'd make for great stories. Like leaving the country, boating to islands, hooking up with locals, camping out in the jungle, hanging out in the city all day, etc. Damn, i wish i could do it again..

The Starcraft alone makes you my hero. I doubt I could have resisted if I ever had that opportunity on my mission.

pretty much every area in my mission had a top-notch internet cafe loaded with all the latest games. During my time in the office (before I figured out how to hack the LAN) i spent most of my "pday" at the internet cafe playing need for speed underground and vice city. We didn't really have a pday because mondays were busy compiling end of week stats and generating reports. So we'd generously find time throughout the week to make up for our lost pday.

my last 6 weeks i was paired up with a laid back guy who wasn't too motivated to work much. Any time we didnt have scheduled appointments, we'd high tail it to the nearest internet cafe. we probably spent over half of our time at those places. on pdays we'd meet up with our zone at this pretty good internet cafe downtown. After our hour was up (and it ended up being more like 2 hours because our ZLs were cool), my companion and i would walk out with the group, hop in a taxi as if we were headed home, and instruct the taxi driver to take us to a better internet cafe that was only a couple blocks away.

Got of my mission in October. Man it was fun. Beginning of my mission my companion and I were walking and we ran into this woman . It was love at first sight , her and I. We danced around our feelings the entire transfer, went over there every night and sat on the porch. Her and I danced a couple times. We sang to each other . She painted my nails, braided my hair, all so we could be close to each other. She kissed me behind the house the night before I left the area. Snuck around my entire mission calling and texting her, she even came to visit me in several other areas. Before I left the mission, I snuck out in the middle of the night and she picked me up and we went for a moonlit ride on her motorcycle In the mountains. She kissed me again and we just lay in the grass holding each other and kissing. We didn’t have sex or anything, but we did get close. We told each other how we felt, and I promised to come back for her and she said she’d wait for me. She went to the airport and we shared a kiss when the MPs back was turned. It’s funny. None of my companions knew I’m a lesbian. Didn’t see a need to tell them really. Me and Kay had an amazing 18 months together.

The best movie experience I had on my mission was the opening night for Terminator 2. I was serving in Yorba Linda at the time and there was a great cineplex right off the freeway.

We waited in line and the theater was packed. It was a great time with the best comp I had my whole mission, Elder Riggs.

I post on here all the time, and some of you know me personally, so I didn't want to tell everyone just how disobedient I was.

1. Girlfriends
2. Making out
3. Hand job
4. Tities
5. Whiskey
6. Smoking
7. Swimming
8. Watching movies all the time (even rated R)
9. Going outside our area
10. Going over miles on car
11. Sight seeing/bookstoring
12. Being smart enough not to open my mouth to everyone

I was also a district leader, zone leader, branch president and I baptized a shitload of people. When I was a leader, my districts and zones baptized shitloads more than others, too.

how did other missionaries react to you? or were most involved?
did you ever confess any of this to the MP?

You asked what other missionaries thought of me?

I was liked by almost everyone in the field, I believe. Even the mission president liked me and his wife absolutely loved me. I was put in leadership very early in my mission and the missionaries soon learned that I was very laid back and that won a lot of loyalty. While other leaders would yell and get crazy about the littlest things, I let them slide and we had a much happier group because of it.

Members liked it too, and we would get tons of golden referrals. They would say things like, I have a friend for you to teach, but I was holding off because the other missionaries were a bunch of hardcore freaks, but you're a nice laid back guy and we trust you not to scar my friends off.

Yes, other missionaries were involved. Once we had a special month that god had revealed to the mission president that we were going to have a record number of baptisms, but there was shit loads of obedience attached to it. If one of us broke a single rule, like sleeping in, or not following the rules exactly, then it wouldn't happen, he said. And they would be able to tell who it was because that group would be the lowest baptizing for the month. I was a zone leader and my missionaries were all stressed because of the pressure put on them, because they were sleeping in and playing around to a large degree. I told them not to worry about it, just keep doing what they were doing.


My missionaries kept sleeping in, calling girlfriends, goofing off, having sleepovers, but at the end of the month, we baptized many more people than the rest of the mission. And my missionaries were in a better mood. Luckily for me, not one even told on me (out of probably 35 missionaries). I thought some nerd missionary would, but I mocked the mission president in district meetings and no one even said a thing to him. Whew. Lucky.

How about a confession, you ask? Well, one small sexual experience (hand job from a sister missionary) got to bothering me quite a bit. Especially since she already went home and spilled the beans to her stake president. Her stake president and the mission president had been chatting some.

After zone conference I went in to confess and the mission president would not take my confession! He didn't want to hear it, and he had been such an ass to so many missionaries that I was expecting the worst. But, he just told me to get back to work! Later her stake president visited or mission and made an appointment to meet me. I did, and he told me that he didn't understand why I was still on my mission and still a leader in the mission. I was branch president at that point. It really stressed the hell out of me, but nothing as ever done and I served the full two years.

You will be happy to know that I was never this wild at home and I have never been that wild since! And written in a list looks much worse than it probably was since it took place over a two year period. I was actually a teaching and baptizing machine, which, now when I look back on it, was the worst thing I actually did on my mission!

Married in the Nipple

01/28/2005 - from Mike Norton
I was out in the mission field (southern California) for about a month. My companion and I were at a members home and it was just this young couple, their VERY OLD Grandmother, my companion and me.

While we were eating dinner, the wife, who was a MASSIVE hottie, had...uh...well, let's just say one could see exactly where her nipples were under her blouse. It didn't seem all that cold in the room to me but, then again, I was wearing a friggin' suit.

She had MASSIVE rock tit going on there and she was sitting right across from me.

Being the typical dumb ass young missionary, and totally lacking in tact, I asked if the couple had been married in the temple. However, when I said it, it came out as, "So, did you two get married in the NIPPLE?"

Instantly, I tried to correct myself and stammered as I said, "Uh...Nimple. I mean TEMPLE!"

Too late. The damage was done. I turned BEET RED. So did the hottie young wife. My fucking companion sort of snickered a bit and so did the womans husband.

A FULL 30 seconds went by in which the man said something like, "Uh, yes. The Los Angeles Temple."

Then, when the normal color of my face returned and I thought this horrible incident was over, Grandma, who hadn't said more than two words during dinner, looks at me and said in a very loud I'm-hard-of-hearing-so-don't-mind-if-I-holler voice, (AND I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP) "Did you ask her about her NIPPLES?"

My companion, who was in the process of drinking his beverage, did an honest to gosh spit take and BUSTED into laughter. The poor womans husband laughed his ass off too. I turned so bright red that I thought I was going to pass out from lack of blood to the rest of my body. Grandma, ever so clueless, turned to the woman and said, "Did he just ask you about your nipples?"

My companion and the womans husband started laughing even harder.

The woman said, "I'm going to put on a sweater." Her hubby said, through fits of laughter that was making him cry, "So, Elder Norton, how long have you been on your mission?"

THAT only made my companion laugh even harder (which I didn't think was possible).

I have NEVER even come CLOSE to being that embarrassed in my entire life.

:-)

Went to a movie near the end of my mission.

Traveled outside of my zone to sightsee with some members.

Sometimes while tracting I would talk about home with my comp.

Prayed for wet dreams so I wouldn't rub one out at night.

I was incredibly horny the entire two years.

My then boyfriend, current tbm husband wrote and mailed me THREE pornographic stories, starring the two of us, while on his mission! He also called me a few times. Yet, I am the apostate now and he's still hanging on!

Very proud of the fact that I photographed many of my "sins".

When my husband is gone for extended periods of time due to work, the kids and I have the mishes over for supper because my son is older than 12 so qualifies as a chaperone. For the ones who are laid back (we seem to get a lot of them), we let them play video games. I think it helps them let down their guard for a little while, relax and not feel like they're under pressure 24/7.

I remember when I was taking the discussion lessons back in the 1970s, on one of the mishies P-Day, my mom took my two sister and me and the mishies in our station wagon and we went to a national park where one mishie, who loved photography, had a camera with him and was going gagga, taking pictures of everything outdoors. I even remember that at one point he was taking pictures galore of a butterfly on a rock that just sat there while he clicked away. He seemed very happy.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/26/2011 08:39AM by imalive.

My trainer stayed solid for about a week trying to train me...then he got tired of being diligent and we checked out every mall in the Atlanta metro area.

In 2nd area, slept in quite a bit, did almost no tracting

Went to the theater a couple times to see movies

Hung out in members homes to avoid doing any work

Went to bookstores

Listened to 'off the plan' ie. regular non motab music

Went on a road trip on my 18 month mark outside of the mission

bought and looked at pornographic magazines at a used bookstore (actually my companion did, but I borrowed them)

Went to see historical sites on proselytizing days.

Left my companion alone a couple times.

Never kissed a woman while on mission...darnit.

Oh yeah, almost forgot. Went to a Falcons football game. It was awesome. Falcon beat the Dolphins.

Area 1: Southern France: I was too busy and too new to do anything wrong, besides, I was companioned to a total rule-follower who turned down a Christmas dinner invitation because it would have kept us out past our normal 'bed time'.

Area 2: Southern France: I threatened to throw my companion out of a 2nd story window. I didn't, but it shut him up. I also way over ate french pastry (lived next to a pastry shop). I must have had a laid back attitude because the branch president was upset with me one day for the lack of success in this little nowheresville. His wife came to my aid by explaining that I was simply a realist--smart woman. My companion and I planned a short trip to Paris. Since there were no phones, and we only checked in with the rest of the district ( a couple of hours away) once a week, we were certain we could get away with it. Of course we didn't go.

Area 3: Central France: I didn't baptize a man who had begged us to do so. I knew he was crazy (what frenchman, in his right mind, begs to be baptized?).

Area 4: Central France: I had the sister missionaries in my apartment. I bought a Phil Collins tape, and my favorite song was "I Don't Care Anymore". My companion and I went to a park one P-day to play frisbee. It had topless sunbathers everywhere. Honest, we didn't know. The second and third time we went, we knew. I stood in line at a movie theater, but we chickened out and didn't go in. A female member of about our age had an apartment of her own. She used to invited us over and a couple of the other girls from the branch. We would play cards. The missionaries always won. We told them it was the spirit. It was actually that there was a huge mirror behind them and we cheated.

Area 5: A little North of Central France: I flooded the neighbor's apartment. I hated the other two elders in my apartment. I hated my mission president.

Area 6: Central France: I gave my companion a back rub that would probably raise some eyebrows had we been seen. I almost missed the bus to the mission home the day I left because we were knocking doors and I lost track of time.

Area 1: actually worked fairly hard. After 2 months with the same dude harping on me (senior comp from hell), I lost it and kicked his butt. Somehow my story was believed over his, and he was transfered.
Area 2: got caught splitting with another white missionary after being told all splits had to go through the ZL. Went to malls, movies, and gaucked at women but nothing more.
Area 3: busted back down to junior comp. Served with an MTC companion of mine. Judged a beauty paegent, and beat a thief we caught after he stole my hat.
Area 4: protested against my new companion by leaving him and going into town while he was in the shower. Mission Pres was called and I basically cursed him out. I can't remember if I actually used curse words, but he left completely tail between the legs. I never talked to or wrote my mission president again. He blessed me with my second companion from my first area who I got along well with. THIS is when the real shenanigans began. He told me I could do whatever I wanted He might join or he might not. Well, I drank, smoked, listened to whatever music i wanted, and had sex with three women. Oh yeah we also found a dead guy. He was murdered around the corner from our house and we found him in a ditch. This was a great 9 months. And I have no idea why my mission Pres allowed me to stay on my mission.

Area 5: moved back to the main city. Watched movies, went to the mall. Nothing more.

Area 6: paired with another cool comp. Or so I thought. Dated some girls down the street and would sleep over at their house occasionally. Sex all the time whenever we wanted it. Drank occasionally. Comp had a change of heart and told the MP only my wrong doings. He brought me in interviewed me and I denied it all.
Last area: paired me with another guy who I knew was part of the brotherhood. With three months left we wasted no time finding women, we were in an apartment with another set of mishies, but we just said F it. If they say something who cares we are almost home. We rented a lot of hotel rooms and frequented the night life areas a lot.
I was sent home exactly 1 month before my full 24 months. Mission Pres called my mom thinking it would make me melt and see my error. Instead I told my mom the church was true but this guy (MP) is a total douchebag. At least one of the two statements ended up true:)

Probably all male missionaries masturbate their entire missions. That's disobedience. I got engaged on my mission. That's disobedient. A missionary boarding with some of my friends who lived in Brueck an der Mur, Austria, simply walked away one day, and never went home. He was observed later busking for money in Graz or in some other city.

Editing to include more: when my family lived on Rome, we had the many missionaries over many times, and were very lax with them. I let them on the computer to write family members and girlfriends. Back then (late 90's to 2001), we were running whatever early version of Windows, and you know how insecure that was. I'd go to the security/history and make sure my boys were not on some forbidden site. You used to be able to read every webmail message anyone typed. I found really steamy lettera--some bordering on pornographic-- from a few of the missionaries. Made me see them in a whole new light.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/30/2017 10:25PM by cludgie.