This is probably TMI, but during my time at the MTC, I was told by the old guy in charge of us (what was the title, Branch President?) that 80% of Elders played with the "little factory".

Of course, this week I had a flashback (probably repressed memory) of my mission president telling me if I was tempted, to spray myself with cologne "down there". The sting would help my mind associate horniness with pain and I would be cured.

HOLY FRICKIN COW!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did anyone else get crazy advice like this during their missions?

My MP always preferred just a hint of peppermint on mine.

what I should have told him:

"can I dip it in a glass of jack daniels? That's not against the word of wisdom, is it?"

oh wow!! thats frickin frackin funny elder S!!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/03/2010 11:31AM by bignevermo.

Major Bidamon Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This is probably TMI, but during my time at the
> MTC, I was told by the old guy in charge of us
> (what was the title, Branch President?) that 80%
> of Elders played with the "little factory".

Duh. Of course they did, this is normal. It's also safe: no STDs or unwanted children.

The advice you were given seems sick.

Sounds like a milder version of the BYU shock treatment.

Sick, sick mentality.

He also called me a "spiritual wimp" in one of our loving counseling sessions. I forgot about that until I read my journal a few weeks ago. Of course, back then, I was a piece of crap and my MP was God. What a jerk.

Yeah, my MP called me all kinds of things too. And two weeks ago I got to celebrate the news of his death.

If you want to be a "spiritual giant" like Nephi, you just have to be a self-promoting, ridiculously deluded, bossy asshole.

Then the spirit of the lord will flow out of your little factory instead of naughty sauce.

Oh man everyday I thank Pan or Zeus or whatever non existent god is out there that I didn't go on a mission.

Reading your story really brings that home to me.

said he would smack his erection with a wooden spoon. He probably is into S and M with his wife as a result. I'm so glad I left the church.

That's gotta hurt a little. People can get really crazy about making sure they are not being a normal sexual being.

Please say you're kidding. I'm not sure which is crazier: smacking it with a wooden spoon or actually telling someone about it.

I remember making that mistake just once. I had a promising date(the spirit moved me), and I decided to make sure, if I got so lucky, that she would enjoy any experience she might have with her head below my beltline(in hopes there would be a repeat performance). One spray of Drakkar Noir on the big factory(I refuse to use the word little) feels just like a gallon of pepperspray would anywhere else!

Associating an erection with pain ... unless ... oh, never mind. ; )

i knew an elder who told mp he masturbated and the mp told him to do push ups every time he got tempted