To anyone who has been following my posts....I thought it all had stopped....until today my mom recieved an email from my visiting teacher telling her that I will not let her come visit teach me and she is worried about me. Now my mom is angry with me saying I went over to the dark side. For those of you who don't know... I am newly married to a military member and live about 3000 miles away from home. I happen to work full time noc shift as a nurse and my job wears me out ( not
complaining.. Thankful to have a good job) . On my days off I want to be with my husband if I'm not busy with school or running errands. I just wish it would stop. And I hate being mean to people... But .....

Stick to your guns, kiddo. It's not your v.t.'s business, it's not your mom's business, It's YOUR business if you don't want church people to visit you. Sheesh! What is wrong with these people? Oh yeah, they're "peculiar." I'm afraid you may have to get tough. This is not to say you should be belligerent. But you are an adult, married, you have the right to direct your own life. (you could resign, but that's up to you)

is that you have people here to support you and you're doing what is best for you.

You have to make it clear to both your vt and your mom that you are a grown, married adult and it is not appropriate to rat you out to your mommy. Your mom has no control over your choices or decisions and your vt can't manipulate her to strongarm you into coming back.

I'd sit each one down for a little heart to heart about appropriate boundaries. Once. And I'd be really, really nice about it. The first time.

Any BS after that gets the mighty wrath of Dogzilla in response. We teach people how to treat us. Teach these people what is appropriate for YOU.

and tell him that you don't appreciate gossip from that person and ask him to talk to the vt about confidentiality

Did your VT get your mom's email address in the first place??! (I mean the woman lives 3,000 miles away!).

;o)

You are an example of why Mormons don't want women to work. Being a nurse puts things into perspective, doesn't it. You are doing something necessary and important with your time, plus you are working toward your future. You are putting your husband first, which will insure a good marriage. He's a lucky man.

Our love and best wishes go out to your husband, as someone who is dedicated to keeping America safe!

With all the GOOD things you are accomplishing, your mother is so petty and silly to focus on something so tiny as her little cult, and some nosey intruder you don't even know. Ridiculous! I'm sorry she doesn't appreciate you.

If your husband isn't LDS, you might want to officially resign. My children and I were harrassed for two years after we became inactive, and when we officially resigned, it stopped. Now we're being shunned, which is crazy-making, but at least they've stopped banging on our door and calling us. If your husband is not LDS, resigning would protect your marriage. The LDS cult is notorious for breaking up marriages. If you have children down the road, resigning would be a preemptive strike to protect them and you from all the fuss about being blessed, baptized, going on a mission, etc, etc.

Read "Assertiveness Training for Women" or "When I Say No I Feel Guilty". There are some great tips in those books on how to say no to pushy people. There are actual scripted dialogs, so you can practice what to say. When I was a TBM, I had to say "no" all the time, because too many people in our ward and stake were always asking me to accompany them on the piano and organ, and I was a single working mother who needed time with my children.

What was really interesting about assertiveness training, was that the books described the very techniques that the Mormons were using on me. The missionaries are trained in these techniques in the MTC. Our Relief Society members all had read these books. Once you know what they're up to, it is easier to combat their manipulative ploys. Knowledge is power.

Just say "NO!"

My vt got her email from the bishop who got it from my old bishop.

Not even joking!

In Mormonism, an eight year old is considered mature enough to 'decide' to get baptized; but a mature, grown, married woman isn't capable of deciding not to have a stranger in her home.