You can control people easier with fear than with love. Let's be honest. How much love did you ever feel from the church leaders? Every time I was in a meeting with a GA, the other members were scared to death of what the GA was going to think.

Once you no longer fear the church, it's dogma, and it's leaders, they have lost you. They no longer control you. It's that simple.

When I realized that the bishop really couldn't do anything to me but take away my worthless membership and make me look bad to the worthless members who didn't even seem to care that I suddenly stopped attending church, I realized that Mormonism had lost it's control over me. I quit being afraid of what people thought when I realized I didn't - couldn't - respect the sort of people who thought badly of me without even asking for my side of the story. These were supposed to be my friends but they immediately decided I'd been offended and was bad without even asking me. They just jumped right to judgmental and bearing false witness. How can you respect people like that? And that's when you are no longer afraid.

You said exactly what I would have said. I especially hate the fact that not one member and former friend ever asked my side of the story.

Sadly, a lot of churches use fear has a way to control it's members.

Fear of leaders. Fear of peers. Fear of failure. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of damnation. Fear of everyone and everything in the outside world. It all combines to keep the membership under the Mormon church's multibillion dollar corporate thumb. Ever notice how skittery most Mormons are? Their eyes dart around and they laugh nervously. They're scared shitless of everything.

Guilt and fear are great manipulators, but sadly, are very short term in nature. As a result, they must be reinforced very frequently. On the other hand, love is a slower approach, and cannot be faked (at least not long term). Sadly, the leaders of the church seem to only do the what is expidient in the short term.

Don't forget Promise. The fear and guilt are all justified by the promise of eternal salvation, or not burning if you pay your tithing, or seeing your loved ones again. Without the promises the fear and guilt wouldn't work. This is my screen name because I feel it is the basis of all who want to control. These kind of people and organizations or religions and cults sicken me.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/10/2010 05:19PM by fearguiltpromise.

The bishop told the boys at Boy Scout Camp this summer about how his family fell apart because his dad didn't believe in the church and how he committed right then to live the gospel so he wouldn't ever have to lose his family forever. I asked my son what he thought of the bishop's comment and my brilliant son said "I thought he was being totally manipulative. I just ignored him."

But imagine telling 12-13 year old boys that if they didn't live the gospel they'd lose their families forever. How frightening would that be?

Also, one of those washed-out 20 something mother of three types in our ward got up and bore her testimony at one of the last F&T's I attended and went on and on, almost sobbing about how afraid she was that she wouldn't teach her children the gospel well enough, that she wouldn't be a good enough example etc. and that she was so afraid her kids would leave the church and she'd lose them forever. What a burden to place on her tired shoulders. How frightening would that be for a young mother.

I'm sure there are other examples, but those are the two that stood out to me the most clearly.

This is definitely a cult tactic. My children used to have nightmares about Mormons breaking into our house. This actually happened to my sons. My daughter had a recurring nightmare, that she called her "zombie dream," in which our Mormon neighbors all turned into zombies and chased her down the street.

When we became inactive, Mormons would come in groups of two and three, and pound on our door at night. Sometimes they were men we didn't know; one was a man who had beaten up his son, in front of everyone.

I did let in two of the men I used to work with in the Scouts, and in front of my children they falsely accused me and insulted me. My son stood up for me, and told them to leave. We escorted them out the door.

I let the bishop in, when I was alone, and he threatened me that I would become sicker, I would fail financially, and my children would fail in life, if I didn't return to church and pay tithing. When we officially resigned, the harrassment and the nightmares stopped. Also, my depression and anxiety vanished. Coincidence?

I can't believe these creeps would behave like mean bullies, just because they needed an organist. Sheesh! Other churches pay their organists, and janitors!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/10/2010 05:32PM by forestpal.

Google "cults" and you'll noticed that this is one of the most important denominators

Outside of forcable interference with guns or swords the only control that any organization has over you is the control that you surrender to them.

Once you give a charleton power over you it is extremely difficult both physically and emotionally to recapture that control

You then have to do what you see as being truly in your best interest and stand firm in your decision