Necrodunking. I love it. I can't hear anything "necro" without thinking of all the weird questions I had to ask people before they got baptized on my mission. I remember being pretty convinced that a 70 year old man was going to beat me up when I asked him if he had ever practiced bestiality. However, the more uncomfortable time was when a 13 year old answered yes to the same question.
I, Lazarus, covenant that I will never reveal the First Token of the Aaronic Priesthood, with its accompanying name, sign, and penalty. Rather than do so, I would suffer my life to be taken.
I guessed it, even before you wrote it, that you missionaries went ahead and baptized these beastie-boys anyway.
I wish TSCC would protect children as well as donkeys, and ask members if they have any sexual attraction to children, addiction to child porn, like to spy on little girls dressing, like to molest little girls while they are asleep in their sleeping bags at campouts, etc! Nah!
They don't ask husbands if they beat their wives, either.
I guess stuff like that--and the non-payment of child support--and drug dealing--and cheating in your business--is not as titillating.
As for recycled talks--they probably swap talks, too. So many times, I used to think, "Didn't someone else give that same talk a couple of years ago?"
I think its like the monkeys and typewriters theory. With so many talks given for all those hours, all those years, using so few old ideas--odds are that some of the talks would be duplicated.
lazarus, are you serious? Do you really have to ask that question? Really? If so that is just sick. Do Bishops like to get those yes answers so they can chastize them and make them wait to be baptised.
Sadly, yes. I served in an area where it was common practice for the boy's first "girlfriend" to be a donkey. Sad, but really not all that uncommon (in that area). If someone did answer yes to one of the many sexually-related questions, we could still authorize them to be baptized as long as we felt they had repented. As District and Zone leaders, we were told we couldn't authorize any baptisms where there was murder or abortion.
I was assigned to be a district leader fairly early in my mission, was still working on the whole language thing, and the first interview I had to do was a 70 year old guy. I didn't review the questions until a few minutes before the interview, and let's just say I almost shit my pants.
In an interview after that, in the same district, I learned that a couple had had an abortion. I wrapped up the interview, and politely told them I couldn't approve them to be baptized, that they would likely need to meet with someone from the mission presidency. When I spoke with the mission president, he asked me if I thought they had repented. I wasn't expecting the decision to rest on my shoulders, so I stumbled in answering him. Without receiving an answer to the first question, he simply asked if I thought they were ready to be baptized. After a bit, I said yes. He said that was enough for him, they could get baptized.
That was one of the many "put it on a shelf" experiences in my mission. I remember mentally not being able to do anything after that evening phone call with the mission president. All I could think about was "Who am I? Why is some 19-year-old punk worthy enough to determine someone's relationship with God, specifically as it related to repentance?"
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/02/2011 08:13PM by lazarus.
When I had admitted I had an abortion in my baptism interview I was referred to the mission president for another interview. I had no idea at the time why I needed an interview with the mission president, but figured it was standard procedure. All I was told when I admitted it again was to never talk about it to anyone, especially my future children. Interesting thing was I had actually had 2 abortions, but only admitted to having had one. I don't know why, maybe I thought it would result in me not being able to be baptized, not sure. I was baptized the following week.
I don't remember his reaction. I was just glad he didn't hit me or get up and walk out.
I got better later on in the mission at making sure they knew I had to ask these questions. That seemed to soften the blow a little. But it was really weird. Especially with kids. I almost didn't ask the 13 year old about bestiality, I had just interviewed his 10-year-old brother and decided I would skip that section.
Aren't missions great? They train mormons at a young age to judge. And, as a result, to think that they are better than everyone else.
I guess when they pointed to the barn and showed the young boys where they donkeys are kept, they forgot to tell them that you ride them in to town so you can meet girls.