Bishop Isaac Milton Rood was fuming mad.

"You WON'T be a Mormon if I have anything to do with IT!!!" he screamed as he watched Brother Gerbershine, one of his semi-active, more radical members of the Minnesota Cannondale 15th Speed Ward finish speaking on the commercial.

He had been trying to get this guy into full activity for the last year and a half, and here the guy was on national tv with a full beard and mustache, playing the guitar, wearing a sleeveless shirt, and sporting a tattoo. He was the member of some band called Sacrificed, which supposedly tried to espouse 'Christian Values,' through 'Funk Music."

Rood busied himself writing up a summons for a 'court of love', for apostasy, and being a bad influence on the members and especially the youth of the ward, and then stuck it in the mail.

A couple days later, he got a call from his good friend Boyd K. Packer.

"I am sorry to tell you, Bishop, but you can't go an hold a Court of Love on Brother Gerbershine."

"But why, not, he's been a bad influence on the youth of the ward. Did you know that some of them came to the youth activity with sleeveless shirts AND they have phony tattoos. I had to call their parents to come and pick them up after I hosed them down." Rood protested.

"Look, Isaac, I know this is hard, it's put me in a wheelchair, however, I plan on running these commercials for a while, see what new members we can attract, and then we will excommunicate everyone of these nonconformists, now that we know who they are, AND they have testified it to the world before God, Angels, and me. BWAAAHHAAAAAHHAAAAA.(coughing started suddenly)

"Boyd? Are you okay?" Rood asked with mild concern.

"I was just reading over a commercial script that had a young woman sporting leggings that went down just above her ankle. Walking pornography. But soon, all radicals will be known, and then vanquished!"

I've been too busy to write satire lately. Topping for all of us who love it.