First off, I am about as heterosexual as they come. For years, as a raging TBM, I thought being gay was a choice, or at least something you could "overcome." However, I've come to realize through life experience, that it's not a "choice," but something you're merely born with.

Here's an analogy I thought of yesterday, as I met someone from Cambodia. He came to the US as a youngster, but had some initial schooling there. Apparently, in Cambodia, they so discourage someone from being left-handed (and as a fellow southpaw I can sympathize), that they actually hit their left hand if they try to use it to write, etc. They continue with the corporal punishment until the person reluctantly uses their right hand.

Doesn't that sound like the shock treatment, etc, that gays received in the Morg to "convert" them to heterosexuality? Handedness is not something you choose; you're just born with the inclination to use one hand over the other.

For those that are gay, maybe you can sound off. Is this a fair analogy?

I agree. You can't help but be right or left handed. I have seen this in both of my children. The choose what hand makes most sense to use. All kids do.

For years I was told it is a "choice" to be gay. Funny thing is I knew when I was about 4 years old that I was right handed and gay. I just didn't have any words to describe it, it was natural and it made perfect sense to me.

Thanks for the post!

I would call it another example of the same ignorance rather than an analogy though

I think your analogy is spot on target! Nice work. By the way, I wholly agree with your assessment of gays.

I've used this analogy many times.

This also refutes the anecdotal "I know someone who said they were gay, but then became straight"(most likely bisexual in my opinion)

That is similar to saying there is no such thing as being left handed because there are people who are ambidextrous

Definately not a choice. Not an illness either. I know that because I was administered to by two of the finest priesthood holders I knew. Yet it took years for me to experience my click moment in which I came to know that church as a cult. Still the fascintion doesn't leave because a lot of my family is still there.

This same regimen of hand smacking was used on my grandmother in the US to get her to use her right hand. We're not as advanced here as we think we are....

Rebecca Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This same regimen of hand smacking was used on my
> grandmother in the US to get her to use her right
> hand. We're not as advanced here as we think we
> are....


My father also had the use of his left hand beat out of him in Catholic school. He has never been comfortable using his right hand. My daughter is a lefty as well.

I like this analogy.

I tried my damndest to believe that my sexuality was a choice. After all, God's one true church had taught me as much. So, I spent all of my youth, and many years as an adult telling myself that I had somehow chosen to be the way I am. I looked at myself as a sinner and a pervert, but deep inside I knew it wasn't true. The greatest day of my life came when I finally accepted who and what I was, but this was after years of therapy, medication, and shock therapy treatments. None of it helped, but as soon as I started accepting myself, the depression left and I started seeing the light. Recovery is still ongoing, but I absolutely love my sexuality and refuse to allow anyone to tell me I am a pervert or a sinner again.

Wendell--YOU WENT THROUGH SHOCK THERAPY!?!? Oh my--I'm so sorry.

For someone who stated that someone said, "He was gay and then he went straight" maybe bi, maybe just trying to do what everyone is forcing him to do, PRETEND.

On this board, a Native American gay posted some years ago and said that the church taught him to HATE and DESPISE two parts of himself. I already KNEW my ex didn't choose to be gay, but this was really eye-opening for me. We (society) are asking gays to change who they are--something very basic. IF my ex becomes straight, he basically ceases to exist. We (society) have no clue what we are telling gays.

I had someone I've known all my life basically come out to me recently--I've "suspected" or basically known for a long time, but because of things I said, she felt safe telling me (when she hasn't even told some of her own family)--and she is probably about 60. She said when she went through her "wedding" to her partner, she cried through the entire thing as she finally felt true to herself. As she pointed out to me--it isn't about gay or straight, it is about WHO YOU LOVE, who you connect to. It doesn't matter what gender they are.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/27/2010 10:20AM by cl2.

but it seems to me that handedness is something that can be trained to a point where using the other hand feels natural and you don't want to go back. This is not true of sexual orientation.

Sorry,
Munchy (hoping to live to see the day when heterosexual people can discuss homosexuality without feeling compelled to say they're not gay)

Some lefties are also somewhat ambidexterous and they have a greater chance of becoming proficient with their non-dominant hand. I'm a right-hand dominant ambidexterous and I can write quite legibly with my left (as well as do many gross motor skills with it, even though I was frequently criticized for that) but I will never be as proficient with my left as I am with my right. And there are some, leftys and rightys both, who have ended up needing to switch hands for physical reasons -- lost the hand, stroke or brain damage -- who never really master the use of their off hand. It's more a matter of your brain wiring than you'd imagine -- although they've now discovered that you can continue rewiring your brain your entire life. Now people with brain damage and stroke damage are encouraged to continue therapy indefinitely or until they recover full function because small improvements can continue to be made.


Sorry for the lecture -- I researched this for a paper once. :)

that I think falls apart with people who were born left- or right-handed successfully and comfortably using the other hand, for whatever reason.

No problem with the lecture. :-)

to not be able to use her right hand with any dexterity at all. For myself, I write equally well with both hands, carry heavier weight with my right, balance better on my right, kick higher with my left, and throw with my left. Surf right or left forward, but open jars left-handed. I'm also right-eye dominant.

In Korea, writing with your left hand is still pretty much a no-no. Of all of my students, there is only one whose parents let him write with his left hand. I have had students where parents have taken all sorts of extreme measures to prevent left-handedness. I'm left-handed myself. Once, I had a student who was so irritated by it that she stood up, grabbed the marker out of my left hand and put it in my right. In visiting Beijing, as I was filling out the hotel registration forms at the Beijing Days Inn, I noticed that the clerk was staring at me as I wrote. It was the first time she had ever encountered anyone who wrote left-handed. She was shocked that foreigners allow their children to write with their left hands. She explained that in China, it simply isn't allowed.