How many of you were a little confused, or bored, or questioned: What do I do now? I had been spending 10 to 20 hours a week of scheduled time, involved in Mormonism, and now that I was not a member, what was I going to do with all that time?

I was the typical active believer: I was a Visiting Teacher, sang in the choir, held two or three "callings" (sometimes more), and attended all the meetings, including the temple about two or more hours away, about once a month. We attended meetings and events as a family also.

In my case, I had been slowly backing off, not attending much, and didn't have any callings as such for a couple of years before I left completely, so I was ecstatic with the extra time.

I was in my late 50's, so I did all kinds of things I didn't have time to do before. I took classes, did volunteer work, started my own small business, started a Red Hat Society in our area, to name a few. I usually have a project I'm working on: sewing, or knitting, or making cards, etc. And, I have time now to socialize with my friends and go to lunch and enjoy their friendship - LDS and non-LDS friends.
It's great! I'm also retired, so that means I have more time to have more FUN! :-)

How do you use that time now? Hobbies, sports, career, volunteer work, etc?

DNA Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> n/t


Where's the "like" button on this thing? Ditto. ... and tweaking and following my Fantasy Football team.

I took up photography, sporting clays and went back to racing hot rods at the Winston Cup track in Beaumont.

Ron

ExMormonRon Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I took up photography, sporting clays and went
> back to racing hot rods at the Winston Cup track
> in Beaumont.
>
> Ron

AHH..another racer! Our youngest son (a mechanic) will race anything with wheels! He wore out Big Wheels --- that was our first clue.... then bikes, then motorcycles, BMX, then cars, and now GoKarts! :-)
Been to several tracks many, many times. LOVE it!
Enjoy the racing!!

SusieQ#1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> AHH..another racer! Our youngest son (a mechanic)
> will race anything with wheels! He wore out Big
> Wheels --- that was our first clue.... then bikes,
> then motorcycles, BMX, then cars, and now GoKarts!
> :-)
> Been to several tracks many, many times. LOVE it!
>
> Enjoy the racing!!

DH and I take our cars out to Miller Motorsports Park. Haven't been on the gokarts out there yet though.

I hadn't really thought about the extra time, but after I stopped going to church and graduated college, I literally did not know what to do with myself. Even now I will randomly get the feeling that I'm forgetting to do something important.

DH laughs at me because I cannot just sit and relax and watch tv. I have to be building a model or doing a puzzle or folding laundry or something.

foggy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> SusieQ#1 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> >
> > AHH..another racer! Our youngest son (a
> mechanic)
> > will race anything with wheels! He wore out Big
> > Wheels --- that was our first clue.... then
> bikes,
> > then motorcycles, BMX, then cars, and now
> GoKarts!
> > :-)
> > Been to several tracks many, many times. LOVE
> it!
> >
> > Enjoy the racing!!
>
> DH and I take our cars out to Miller Motorsports
> Park. Haven't been on the gokarts out there yet
> though.
>
> I hadn't really thought about the extra time, but
> after I stopped going to church and graduated
> college, I literally did not know what to do with
> myself. Even now I will randomly get the feeling
> that I'm forgetting to do something important.
>
> DH laughs at me because I cannot just sit and
> relax and watch tv. I have to be building a model
> or doing a puzzle or folding laundry or something.


foggy ....you
bring up something that was an adjustment for me: learning to do nothing, sit quietly, and just....relax!
One of my friends noticed: Susie, you have two speeds, fast forward and off! :-)

Now, I'm content to actually stay in the house all day and not be running here and there doing .... stuff!

This thread is so inspiring!

Sunday is ALWAYS laundry, shopping, movie, reading and coffee day. Oh, and pizza, wings, and beer.

But I also found myself bored to tears, watching lots of movies, and basically just twiddling my thumbs after escaping the morg. Then it hit me that I needed to do something productive with my time, and I started running. I became a marathoner, and have now run 2 marathons and several small races. Running has become a way of life for me now, and I find great physical, mental, and emotional satisfaction from it. Not to mention all of the wonderful people that have become genuine friends with something in common with me.

By the way, my new commitment to running actually SCARED my TBM sister, who became literally OFFENDED that I was spending so much energy running. She thought it was an idolatrous replacement for religion. Weird.

My thirty years as a TBM sound much like yours. I can't recall that I ever had only one calling! I'm convinced that's part of the LDS modus operandi - keep people so busy they don't have time to think about anything else. And they cannot quit because they's let others down. It's insidiously clever.

But now I spend a lot of time reading. My wife and I travel some. She keeps busy with her garden in the summer. I'm active in a community theater and do two or three shows per year. Our local theater has one dinner theater night for each production and my wife has catered several of those. I get to test her recipes. It's a tough job but someone has to do it.

But one of the best things in life is to sit on my front porch on a summer Sunday morning, sipping coffee, reading the paper and watching the sun rise. And thinking of all those poor souls stuck in Sacrament meeting!

Thanks to Eric and Susan and everyone else involved (including all you posters)!!! : ) : ) : )

I imagined myself tracting right behind them as they went door to door and I would leave my flyer "The Rest of the Joseph Smith Story."

Actually, I now have time to meditate, to take walks down Piedmont Avenue to see what's what, to read under a tree in our little park...I crochet, write, scrapbook, cook, play with grandchildren, volunteer at the Disabled Children's Thrift Store and serve on the the board of the senior residence here in town.

I especially enjoy doing my own charity work and discover that I can get MY OWN promptings of who to help and how. Many people would feel highly offended, indeed patronized, if they had someone assigned to talk to them. You can't "call" someone to be a friend, not really. Liking and loving cannot be corporately dispensed from a church gumball machine.

One of the ladies here gets help from the Mormon Church. She whispers to me that they are very mean to her but she needs the help, so she doesn't say anything "back." This woman weighs at least 300 lbs, is in a wheelchair and is deathly sick with diabetes. I was surprised I was shocked that they could be mean to someone who is obviously suffering the consequences of bad decisions and doesn't need them to rub it in. O/T so I'll stop....

Anyhow, I must thank the Church for the deep pleasure I experience every Sunday when I hear hymns being sung and know that I am NOT wearing pantyhose and garments and wiping my brow in an uncomfortable pew somewhere.

More coffee?

Anagrammy

I love that the mormons scare people from moving here.
I love that they all go to church on Sunday.
I love that it is not appropriate for them to drink alcohol or coffee.

The population is not like Denver.
This leaves the mountains less crowded on Sunday.
I can find regular people in bars and coffee shops.

Do a search on the internet for meet-up groups in your area. There are plenty of groups who meet regularly in many kinds of interests. There are things like skiing and golfing and hiking and reading the newspaper. Sunday mornings sleeping in and drinking coffee are my favorite.

resipsaloquitur has the right idea- running! I did the same thing. Sundays are great for doing the weekly long run while preparing for marathons. Incidentally, I have a brother in Kaysville that I suspect doesn't believe in the Morg but plays the game to keep his marriage and business together. He purposely goes out running by the ward building on Sunday mornings before the main meetings so the leaders will see him breaking the sabbath and not call him to any big callings.

Quite often on Sunday mornings, I will sit (while enjoying a nice cup of Joe) in the dining room with my wife and marvel at how nice it is to not have to go sit through a three-hour block of tedious, boring meetings. And I don't feel guilty at all- that's the best part!

I calculated that by not going to church I have been able to ski about 700 extra days over the last 35 years. I find my "church" in the high country and enjoy the beauty of the mountains. It has been hugely satisfying. I also fish, bike and camp with my kids on full 2 day weekends in the summer. No need to rush home on Sat. afternoons to "prepare for the sabbath." In the fall I hunt on Sundays. In the spring when it is mud season I spend my Sundays photographing in Yellowstone and hanging with my friends doing normal things. I hated church and have spent my life being glad to be away from the boredom and repetitive nonsense.

I now spend my time doing things that are actually useful and beneficial to myself, my family and humanity.

I went back to school, where am looking to study chemistry and biochemistry.

Funny timing, this thread. I came home from work, eager to see my kids and spend some time with them. There was a flyer about Relief Society Enrichment Night; another about donating money or time to an Eagle Scout project. It just hit me wrong. Damn them -- they want our time, our money, our thoughts ..everything. Last thing I want to do after working all day is spend my evening with Relief Society when I haven't seen my kids all day.

Genealogy filled my need to research after I tired of digging into the history of the Mormon church. It also returned to me a sense of grounding that I had lost. I don't get into it so much anymore, but it was helpful to me at the time I left the Church.

Mine is unusual. I returned to my Native American roots. I got active in the tribe. I started telling the stories of Coyote and Owl and Spider-women. It is all good! I love my reclaimed heritage.

My days are packed. Full-time job, Grad school-PhD research, hacker cons, learning mandarin (pimsleur method), learning electronics (designed my own laser-pointer circuit board for cheap blue laser pointers <$25) participating in my 4 favorite sports-weather permitting (karate, skiing, surfing, rock-climbing) - attending theater - saw Patrick Stewart on Broadway in a Mamet play this past Sunday - (good but not great). Oh and my newest projects are to read all of Don Knuth's math/cs books, learn to juggle and play the guitar and learn to write an Ipod/Ipad app (I have a need for something not yet available).

I'm a lot older than most of my Ph.D. student peers, so coming back to intense studying has been a struggle for me.

FWIW, I have found that I work most effectively if I set a timer for a set SCUs (self-concentration units) and switch to a new project after the timer goes off. My personal SCU is 30 min. I also switch from a sedentary project (like soldering electronics) to something I can do while moving.


I've also discovered that my brain works best while moving, I bought a $100 treadmill off of Craigslist and put a tv-tray across it - with my monitor on the wall and a wireless keyboard and mouse, I do most of my computer and reading work while slowly walking. (If I have to *really* concentrate to understand something, it takes all my energy and I stop dead. This has caused me to slide off the back of the treadmill at times)