I really dont know alot about the mormon religion but my girlfriend is a very devout Mormon. things are starting to get pretty serious though i always feel like her mom has something against me. Im really debating what will happen in the future because i want to spend the rest of my life with her but in order to do that i would have to convert. How should i go about my current situation??

Are you both adults? Mormon girls are trained to only marry mormon men who have been on missions. If your boyfriend isn't a mormon you need to convert him.

Good luck.

Run...

At this point, you have no idea what you're in for.

Run, fast and far...

RUN!

+1000

Indeed run as fast as u can

Her mother does hold something against you. You're not a mormon. Before you go any further in this relationship you need to find out what mormonism is all about. You can't trust the members or missionaries to tell you everything you need to know. To start with, I would suggest you go to the site called Mormon think. If you read everything there, you will know more than most mormons know about their religion. Make an informed decision. If you marry her, this religion will most likely be a lifetime issue for you.

Many Mormons are married to Mormonism first and their spouse is a distant second. While in the glow of premarital love it all seems so wonderful and like nothing will ever go wrong. Sure your head may be telling you that it could go south but your emotions and hormones are screaming that all is well.

Mormonism is an all-encompassing and often suffocating religion. The best way forward is to run. Run hard and never look back. There are 3.5 billion women on the planet. I am sure you could find several hundred thousand women that would be better matches than this girl.

Give yourself at least a year to learn everything you can about the religion. Read this message board every day. Read the short topics on this site. Read the MormonThink website.

This is not your average Protestant church. The LDS church demands a huge commitment of your time and money. It is a very controlling church and will dictate what you wear (including your underwear,) how you cut your hair, how much money you give to the church, what your church job, or calling will be, and so on. It is not a commitment to be made lightly.

If you marry in a Mormon temple, as would be expected, your own parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, etc. would not be allowed to attend. Does this seem right to you?

There are plenty of board members who will tell you that it's not worth it to go after a very devout Mormon girl, and I'm in agreement with them. You are asking for trouble by following this course.

For comments from others who have been in your position, see

"I'm in love with a Mormon!" at http://packham.n4m.org/inlove.htm

To get an idea of what Mormonism is all about, and what your life would be like if you convert, see "To Those Who Are Investigating Mormonism" at http://packham.n4m.org/tract.htm (also on this website at http://www.exmormon.org/tract2.htm )

+1

I am a non mormon who once was in love with a mormon.

I was honest in saying that I was an atheist and not interested in converting. Once the mormon (and all of his family, bishop and church friends) realised that I was serious about my 'heathen ways' I was dumped.

Looking back, I dodged a bullet.

Do you really want to be with a member of a cult?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/29/2012 09:04PM by spaghetti oh.

after reading just whats been said so far its a very somber moment because i have had all the concerns that were listed above and more. her mother is pushing for us to discontinue the relationship in the future because her daughter needs to have the experience of dating. i dont doubt my girlfriends love for me but i know with her mother it will always be an issue. But i always tell my self that if i do pursue marrying her and we do love each other then everything will be okay.sometimes it seems though she is more dedicated to church and her mormon friends than me? is this how all mormon girls are? thank you for all the great sites to research mormonism.

Its how all MORMONS are. Church first, that BS about the family notwithstanding.

If you marry in the temple, you don't make vows to each other. You make vows to the church. The church will always be the third partner in your relationship.

Talk to the girl. Let her know that you are not interested in joining, discusss things such as where you will be married, by whom and how you will raise any children.Discuss the mother issue. Tell her honestly what you think and allow her the same. Take it from there

If she will, ask her to read Mormon Think along with you. Her comments will speak volumes.

Yes! The Church comes first, before everyone and everything, the Church has to be #1 in their lives.

There are exceptions and some Mormons can make it work with non members, but given the 'church is true' attitude, it is harder than it is with other religions. You need to learn about the church and discuss this whole thing honestly with her.She needs to learn about your beliefs and you both need to be totally honest. If it isn't going to work, I'd cut it off before it gets any more serious.

If she says no, then she is looking for a Mormon, not you.

The only way it'd possibly work is if she leaves the Mormon 'church' for you. Ask her if she's willing to do that...

Uh, my parents made it work and my father never joined and my mother didn't leave. It is possible although hard.

My sister married a non mormon. He is an atheist. It has only worked because he is a doormat and lets her have her way about everything. Their kids are now grown and TBM's raising their kids in the church. He is a reclusive alcoholic. He seems incredibly sad to me.

The only way it could work would be if both partners accepted each other as they are. If she can say that it's fine with her if you're never a Mormon, and mean it, and you're fine with letting her be a Mormon, then it can work.

But every woman I know who married a non-member, married him with the goal in mind of getting him baptized at some point.

Both partners have to be tolerant or one has to give in. EITHER WAY, IT IS TOUGH.

Even if you married her and it was OK, the kids would be consigned to being Mormons - who would wish that on their kids?

My parents exposed us to both religions and made us wait until we were older to choose.Since my mother was the more faithful, we originally went with Mormonism, but of 4 of us, only one is still active. You cannot make absolute statements about this as some posters are doing.How it works depends on the people involved.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/29/2012 08:49PM by bona dea.

Yeah, but I would bet anything that your parents were the exceptions. That dog don't hunt, Bona, don't make the guy think he can do this and be happy.

I said it would be hard but not impossible. We do not know these people and have no business telling him what to. Warning of pitfalls is one thing but telling him to dump her without knowing either of them or their feelings is irresponsible. As one who lived through a mixed marriage, I think I have some qualifications.

Run and run fast.....the mom is just tolerating you at the moment until the daughter gets you to convert. My daughter dated a Mormon boy and his mom was after her from day one. It took six yrs. but she finally succumbed and it broke my heart. Now they have a son who will be brought up in this fraudulent religion.

You will never be looked at as good enough, you will always be an outsider, they will hound you, coax you and encourage involvement and then lovebomb you- you will be aproject. It is sickening what they do. Then you will be encouraged to marry right away and have kids immediately. That is how they roll. I say find another gal who will not put demands on you - ne that will love YOU more than her church. And if you are close to your parents they will be heartbroken like I am. Never dreamed my daughter would join a cult.

My husband was a Mormon (convert) when we met. He left the church less than four years after we married. But he was never that into it anyway.

When they were freshmen in college, her dad had a talk with him to let my brother know that because he wasn't mormon and wasn't going on a mission, my brother couldn't date his daughter anymore. How f*&%$# up is that?

He's been married to a wonderful woman and they have three beautiful children who grew up outside of the church under their mutual care and decisions.

The best thing that dad did was tell my brother to leave his daughter alone and the next best decision was that my brother decided to leave her alone.

BUT... it was really, really tough. They loved each other quite a bit. So, get out of that situation. She's in it for the long haul and she'll remember you for the dignity you showed in leaving rather than pining to stay for crazy reasons.