I have not been in a Mormon church since 1987. My family knows how I feel and do not try to "bring me back". I don't get HT, or phone calls, and put myself on the no mishy list(they kept leaving pamplets on my door, inside my fence with my dogs, and I was not going to chance having to put down a dog, if they bit one of those asses). I didn't even know there was a need to resign until I started reading this site. I'm starting to feel like I need to do it, to just end things, but I'm being left alone, so what is my motivation? Am I doing it just to get in my families face, one more time? I'm in VA, so I don't have the problems of Morridor.

In your opinions, what would be the benefits of resigning?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/24/2010 12:58PM by jon1.

I am from the camp the says you don't have to resign. I guess it is personal choice really. IMO if you are out of the church and happy for almost 30 years no need to do it now.

I chose to resign simply so the LDS church no longer had any valid means of considering me to be one of their number.

For me, it was about personal integrity. Being an inactive member of the church meant to me that I was giving silent approval of the church's behavior like Prop 8. Taking my names off the roles meant that I no longer had to feel that I was sacrificing my integrity by being associated in any way, shape, or form with an organization that did and said horrible things.

Those others could be people that don’t even know you. It could be sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, children, grand children, moms, dads, grandparents and friends. It could even be the bishop or SP.

You will never know who will be positively affected. That fact is others will find out that you left voluntarily by resigning and not because you sinned.
This is what gives hope to one that does not believe but is trapped by the misconceptions of those who leave taught by the church. It gives hope to those under the age of 18 that when they become an adult they can end it cleanly with integrity. As others learn of your resignation the lie becomes just a little clearer.

I am a big proponent of resigning.
However you know best your own situation.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/24/2010 01:07PM by AmIDarkNow?.

You will feel free again once you send in an exit letter. You may get "love bombed", but I wasn't so it could go either way. I noticed that I wrote my exit letter from an "abuse inflicted on me" type, and others write theirs from a 'no scientific proof' side. Best wishes.

Resigning is an option that some of us are thrilled to have, but others don't need.

I resigned a couple of years ago. I was feeling like I couldn't fully speak my mind, especially to my mormon friends/family, because news of my apostacy might get back to some mormon stake president who would then hold a court of love for me behind my back or something. Paranoid, I know, but I wanted to make sure to leave on my own terms. It was important to me that no suits in the mormon patriarchy could even pretend to have any authority over me.

My husband, on the other hand, hasn't resigned. He doesn't care what the suits think or do. He's much less outspoken and confrontational than me, and puts up with loved ones making the occasional assumption ("oh I just know there's still a testimony in there somewhere!"). Sometimes I tease him that he's still mormon and I'm not, but we both know that's not really true.

It just depends on the person. Do what your gut tells you.

I completely agree with AmlDarkNow above. It was the actual resignations of numerous credible people that finally was a tipping point for our family to actually consider contrary information about the mormons. People who were exed were obviously not credible and people who merely slunk away were "hiding" something (their sins, of course). When it became clear that numerous credible people were resigning in the full light of day without any hint of "slinking" away, then we wanted to know what was so compelling to them. We have many of these early courageous people to thank and only wished we would have known earlier.

Everyone needs to resign out of integrity to the truth.

Remember, the cult wants you to remain anonymous. Mormons are happy to have you sitting in the pews looking like a happy member even if you are a silent apostate. SILENCE contributes to more people inadvertently believing the fairly tale of mormonism. We all need to stand up and be counted on this because (as AmlDarkNow implies), WHY one leaves the church is vital as a lifeline to the prisoners who remain. Merely slinking away CONFIRMS to the TBMs that you really STILL believe but do not have the character to conform your life to the gospel.

Think of the many posters here on this Board who have spouses and children and other family members who still believe the fantasy. The more credible people in every walk of life who can laugh and say, "What, you still believe in mormonism after all the evidence against it," the more credible it will be to resign for others, and the more mainstream it will be to get all the facts about this crazy cult on the table. We need more about the diversity of people who have left the cult to come out, rather than have the perception that its "only" the historians and disgruntled ex-employees, and feminists, etc. who have left.

I look forward to the day when political mormon candidates or candidates for other serious positions will be challenged on the basis that a belief in mormonism calls into question the candidate's judgment and ability to conduct due diligence -- akin to believing the sun revolves around the earth. Would anyone elect David Koresh or Warren Jeffs to an important position?

Once upon a time we only had the Tanners to refer to and their isolation made it easy to dismiss them -- I never seriously read their excellent material for years. Today, we can produce dozens if not hundreds of resignation letters from seasoned, experienced, life-long mormon credible people who have left the church ON ITS OWN MERITS and there is nothing more compelling to mormons than TESTIMONIES. Please ADD YOURS and RESIGN.

I walked in and asked them to hold a court in absentia to excommunicate me for heresy. 29 days later, I got my "you're ex'd" letter. Nobody ever darkened my door again.

EZ Pleasy.

Ron

Alright Rodolfo, you make a compelling argument. Thanks to you and everyone else for helping me out. It's nice to have this board, to help make sure I'm doing this for the right reason.

Its terrifying in many ways, that's for sure. But it is also very personally cathartic and healing to do over time too. I will be very pleased to read about your journey soon, and to pass the story along to others still struggling. I honor your courage!

Dear Family,

As many of you know, I have not been active in the church for a long time. I have had questions and doubts about many things and there have been times when I have gone back and forth about some things as well. You all know me well enough to know that I am not a bank robber or child molester and that my church issues are not due to my sinfulness or other motive. During this time I have considered many arguments about the church and tried to study all the evidence I could. However, the more I examine the evidence and the more new evidence is discovered, the more it is crystal clear to me that . . . . .


I am grateful to be a member of a family where, though some may disagree with my conclusions, people also respect that I have sincerely sought to solemnly and deliberately conduct honest investigation and that I have come to my conclusions with integrity and honesty. I may have arrived at a different conclusion than you, but I have done so with good reasons that are honest and well-researched. Thank you for this.

I love you all and am grateful that our relationships are strong and that we are able to respect our choices.

JonL

GOOD LUCK!!

You are not held to the same line of accountability anymore. No sneaking a cup of tea or making up excuses for why you didn't go to church last Sunday.