First, thanks for the great idea of whisking my daughter away for some one-on-one time. There wasn't enough time to do much but we did go out for a nice dinner. We talked and laughed and I told her how much I love her. She told me how much she loves me and appreciates all I'm doing. We talked a little bit about her trip through the temple – I kept it low key and respectful. She was a little freaked out even though I had told her what to expect before she went. One thing I did learn is that her future husband has an older brother who is out of the church! I may have an ally. It sounds like he's gay and that's probably what drove him out. I'm really looking forward to meeting him.

Other events: My best friend from high school asked me what time the wedding ceremony was. I thought about it and replied “I have no idea what time it starts, I'm not invited” No anger in my voice, just kind of surprise that I really didn't have a clue. The other TBMs in the room were far more uncomfortable with the exchange than I was. Take that you self righteous cultists.

My wife has mentioned several times how sweet I've been. The unspoken message is “I know you are hurting, and thank you for taking the high road”. I think down the road this whole thing will just give her more reason to question her devotion to the church. She's made it clear that I'm more important to her than my place in the church. Apostate or not, she's sticking with me.

I won't be at the temple and my daughter is fine with that. My wife is fine with that. In fact they even offered suggestions of things I might enjoy doing instead. Some mutual respect has emerged from the conversations we've had. We've taken the wedge the church tried to drive into the middle of the family and we've set it aside. I'm hopeful that my anger is spent and I'll now focus on the joy of the occasion. I'll dance with my daughter, I'll dance with my wife, and just to go for the laugh I may dance with my son-in-law when he tries to cut in.

I may not have a chance to post again before the wedding but I'll be sure to return and report after the fact. My greatest hope is that I don't have a long list of nasty TBM behavior/comments to document.

Thanks again,

Stunted.

I think you've done wonderfully!

However, I'm semi-sorta hoping that there'll be a lot of, as you put it, "nasty TBM behavior/comments to document" because it'll show that while you've taken the high road, they'll take their usual EXTREMELY LOW ROAD.

Beautifully done! I'm truely happy for you.

I would "assume" what they will be feeling in the temple is how you have been left out--and not how you "chose" to be left out. Having been a single woman a lot in the lds church, you wife will definitely notice being alone and it sounds like it will cause some cog dis for her--because she knows you and loves you.

I hope it all goes well.

Cuz in the end, its all about love. Nothing but love. Long before and long after the rituals, there is Love.

You will never regret taking the high road on a day that will live in your daughter's memory after you are long gone.

Congratulations for a very personal victory.


Anagrammy

Stunted Wrote, in part:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'll dance with my
> daughter, I'll dance with my wife, and just to go
> for the laugh I may dance with my son-in-law when
> he tries to cut in.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do it!
It makes for a hilarious wedding reception video!
My husband and I did that when his daughter got married.

We went to change partners and I started dancing with her and my sweetie started dancing with the son-in-law.She got it right away, of course, being her father's own daughter, but the SIL just looked confuzzled.

Happy to hear that, Stunted. You sound like an amazing father and husband.

You and all of your family will benefit both now and in the future from your having chosen the high road at this juncture.

Be sure to return and report about the dance!

I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you today!