And Im marrying the mormon man who was the reason I came here to learn to understand him. I guess I should say he is well on the way to being exmormon so you dont give me all the RUN advice. I decided to post this mostly for anyone who might remember me or my story over time. He was a convert as a young adult and we knew each other before he was LDS. This may have helped our situation, but it was still a long, hard (and strange) trip. I just wanted admin to know how much the board helped a couple more people, and posters like stray mutt to know they do make a difference in peoples lives.

Looks like your guy tried Mormonism and got it out of his system.

I've been trying to convince Lilith to write down the story of all this. It would make a great movie, though just for drama's sake, his cold feet moment a couple of years ago would have made a great ending. But this is real life, so hurray for what looks like a happy ending.

(Sorry for writing about things the rest of you don't know about. Lilith came to me for a lot of info and advice, so I've watched the whole process.)

The cold feet moment the Mutt speaks of was the hold the church still held over him at the time. Its an Evil Church and operates on fear of loss of 'salvation'..whatever that is. But we beat it through good communication and a close unwavering friendship. Maybe someday he'll want to tell his LDS church story. Right now he wants nothing more to do with 'them'. I understand that.

Congratulations! Have you set the day?

10/10/10

Congratulations, good luck.

Congratulations!

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage.

The first is that if you want to help someone you love out of Mormonism, you have to be willing to stick with it -- for years, if necessary. It's not going to happen overnight. You have to be willing to not push, to let things progress at their own pace. Be there to nudge, to provide just enough answers at the right time and to ask question in return that will help the other person look at his/her situation differently. I think it means listening and understanding what they're really saying.

The second thing is that even though we think we're trapped in an unhappy life, there probably is a way out. There might be a price, but it's probably much less than what we end up paying when we stay.

You really have gone the long haul! I remember you talking about this years ago, and I had doubts then because of all the guilt and fear that gets programmed into Mormons. I'm so glad it has worked out for both of you in the end, Lilith.

Congrats Lilith!

I came to this board around the same time but had a different name then - can't recall what I used! But I eventually just stuck with Porcupine (or Pork).

I'm completely out of the church and pop in here a couple times a year to browse. :-)

Best of luck to you in the future.