Today I was at the store and ran into my Stake President. He went out of his way to corner me, show concern for me, etc. It was very uncomfortable.

So do you all have some lines you throw back at TBMs who haven't seen you for a long time? How do you respond to "we've missed you" or "haven't seen you at church in ages" ?

I usually try and stay very positive and say something like "yeah, I'm still around" or just laugh it off. But it still is so uncomfortable.

Any good one-liners out there?

but it might only work because I do actually go to Sacrament meeting occasionally with my DH. I am going to say "Oh, I'm sorry. Have you been sick? I didn't even notice you weren't there."

Most of the time I just don't mention the church unless they bring it up and then I just listen to them talk. But if pressed I just say "I'm not really into the Mormon thing right now" and just let it drop. Usually, they are so surprised that they can't think of what to say and that allows me to change the subject. If they keep pressing, I start pressing back, being totally honest. I don't need pushy, obnoxious friends so if it turns them off when I'm pushy and obnoxious back, so be it.

"We've missed you/haven't seen you at church in ages..."

I'd just say "That's right. Because I haven't been there."

Laughing it off is truly the best response.

I got one from the 2nd counselor the day.

"I didn't seem to see you at church yesterday."

"Glad your eyes are still working 100%!"

If they were a friend from church I would say yeah we should get together sometime and do something. If they mention doing something at I church I then say well I don't go there anymore but we can go to a movie or something like that if you want. I find that kind of shuts them up and it shows that they really don't miss you. Well unless they say yes to the movie then maybe they really do miss you..

"Hi!"

"Hi!"

"How's the family?"

"Good, yours?"

"Great!"

"Been nice seeing you!"

"You too, Bye Bye!"

Always cordial.

Ron

100% agree with you Ron. I am an ass but I will be polite.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/01/2010 02:57PM by dthenonreligious.

Do you remember, as a TBM, some of the LAME excuses people gave for their apathy toward the universal truth? I mean, the windows of heaven are open and revelations from the past and future and light years beyond the stars are flowing in, vitally relevant solutions and/or answers to all the world's problems like war, famine, disease, crime, vice, death itself, and... "I'm busy", or "I've got a problem", or whatever.

In hindsight, those weren't the reasons. They were just the most polite excuses they could think of.

It's an insult for TBMs to assume that people deliberately sell their souls for a mess of pottage, ie slight God and His church over petty concerns.

Almost invariably, this rates a smile. I've had a belly laugh response on occasion and I thought, "Oh, she wants to take her forties off."


Sometimes I add that I've liked it so much, I'm going to take my seventies off too.

;)

When someone asks about my missing church I nod sympathetically like I agree that I should be there. Then I say:

"You know how sometimes church meetings can be a bit repetitive and sometimes boring?"

They always nod in agreement.

"Well, when you don't believe in any of it those meeting are excruciating to sit through".

I've used this line several times and never yet has a TBM disagreed or had a comeback. They know the meetings suck.

Hours were lousy, weekends and evenings

Benefits were promised but never delivered.

And the head man was ALWAYS a no-call, no-show.

As soon as they mention something churchy, I say "Look. It has been many years since I was involved with that religion, and you should know that I'm no longer a member of the Mormon church nor want to be one. Ever. I just want to make that very clear before we continue."

Most of the time it's just a cheery hihowareya. And I have nothing against anyone, and like a lot of people from our ward so it is easy to be polite. Thankfully nobody ever brings up church, but typical of me, when somebody says they haven't seen us in a while I always reply - I know, where've you been?

My parents were pretty supportive when I quit the cult. By my Dad would try to drop hints every once in a while.

Usually on Sundays my Dad would ask, half joking and half serious, "So, how was church today?"

And I'd usually reply along the lines of, "No one was considerate enough to call and let me know."

One Sunday they called after I'd spent the day skiing at Snowbird Ski Resort. Dad asked how church was, and I told him I attended the Snowbird ward that day. (He knew damn well there wasn't a ward at Snowbird.) It fooled Mom at least.

For the most part people don't ask me about church. When they do I try to reply politely with humor. I say something along the lines of, "I don't go anymore - I got better." If they keep pressing, I bring out the big guns and tell them I escaped from that f*cking cult years ago.

If they say I haven't seen you in church in years I tell them actually it's been decades and I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you.

Usually it plays out similar to Ron's post though.

I always say, "I can't afford to go to Church. I have not been working much and that 10% thing cuts into my food budget."

Most of the ones I run into know that I resigned years ago. If anybody has the nerve to ask WHY, I just shrug and say, "It didn't work for me."

Nobody has ever had a comeback for that.

Like the sixties thing, my older brother was always ward clerk or stake clerk, forever. He is still a member, but he told the Mormons, "I'm retiring from ALL my jobs."

Usually my conversations are like Ron's, too, at the grocery store, on the sidewalks, at an open house, etc. Most Mormons don't want to know why you left. They think they already know it all. My method is to smile, look happy, respond, but keep moving along.

My Moprmon relatives, on the other hand, are nosey. At the last few weddings, they've wanted to know why I wasn't in the temple. At reunions, they often ask what my church calling is, or if my children are "active in The Church." I have two favorite answers:

"This is a party! Let's not talk about religion."

At my house, "No talking about religion or politics--house rules."

It wasn't one line, but I received one of those really heartwarming miracle stories in an e-mail from a friend the other day, with them saying that is shows how wonderful our Heavenly Father is.

I said, "Nice story. The problem with such faith-promoting stories is that for the one person who receives their wonderful miracle, there are hundreds of thousands who prayed just as hard and were left wondering why their miracle never came. That's why I'd call myself a hopeful skeptic these days."

He doesn't know that I've left the Church, but that should give him pause. He didn't reply. LOL

Most of those stories probably aren't even true.

And, then, change the subject.

When someone asked if I had been offended, I replied that if everyone that was every offended didn't attend, there would be no one there.
That always gets a laugh!

So far, I duck out of sight. But its only been 5 months since I left.

Morgbot: "That wasn't translated correctly, JST fixed that" :)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/02/2010 01:53PM by php.

To VERY attractive young lady at bar in pub: "Why, yes, you have changed a lot since I taught you in Primary. Can I buy you a drink? Vodka? No problem!"

I was single, chatting her up, and she said: "You don't recognise me! You taught me in Primary!"