Psychologist Marlene Winell speaks about recovering from religious trauma and has coined the term "Religious Trauma Syndrome." I also highly recommend her book Leaving the Fold: A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving their Religion

http://vimeo.com/16434842

She actually begins to talk 13 minutes in.

http://www.marlenewinell.net/page/leaving-fold-guide-former



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/01/2010 11:42PM by robertb.

It's nice to know there are professionals addressing this problem and offering support and therapy for the damage religion does.

When I left the mormon church a friend invited me to her church, a Christian non-denominational church. I went for a couple of months.

I had so much fear over leaving the Mormon Church that I figured I better quick find another church for I sure didn't want to be struck down for turning away from religion/God. It was years before I could reveal my new name because of the penalties we were taught in the temple. I was literally shaking the first time I said my new name.

Attending that non-denominational church didn't help with my religious dilemma. I found myself having the same feeling I didn't identify when I was a Mormon but here I was again in another church and I was feeling the same feeling - FEAR. The services at the non-denominational church freaked me out. People waving their arms in the air and crying and shouting. I said enough!

There was so much "what if" in getting untangled from religion.

It was time for therapy. I told a friend I was going into therapy, I needed to heal. She told me that "Jesus is the best physician." That ticked me off and without batting an eye or skipping a breath I said, "I thought he was a carpenter."

Indeed,religious trauma syndrome!

No matter how pathological the relationship, the separation represents a loss, and losses must be grieved...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/02/2010 03:31AM by SL Cabbie.

SL Cabbie Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> No matter how pathological the relationship, the
> separation represents a loss, and losses must be
> grieved...

Absolutely true.

"Where's the 'like' button'"?

I truly mourned the loss of my imaginary friend for years. Someone, who i grew up believing was always there to save me if I just worked hard enough, died when i realized the truth.

the loss of that security blanket was hard, but in reality, it never really existed. But, it does make one a bit sad at times.

Ive been in therapy for 2 years, it is nothing to be ashamed of. It has helped alot, but only those of us who have been thru the cult knows what its like. For me, I just took each day as it came and went. I too was scared to go to a new church. Dont go unless you want to. There is no shame in NOT going to church. I went thru the same exact stuff you are. Dont rush into finding a new church right away. That is the worst thing you can do. You have gotten used to the cult experience like I had, and I wanted to belong....somewhere, to something. Some ex mo's never go to any church again.
Look up 'Cults' on the internet, and see the signs of deprogramming and what to expect. It will make it alot easier, at least it did for me.

utahmonomore Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ive been in therapy for 2 years, it is nothing to
> be ashamed of. It has helped alot, but only those
> of us who have been thru the cult knows what its
> like. For me, I just took each day as it came and
> went. I too was scared to go to a new church. Dont
> go unless you want to. There is no shame in NOT
> going to church. I went thru the same exact stuff
> you are. Dont rush into finding a new church right
> away. That is the worst thing you can do. You have
> gotten used to the cult experience like I had, and
> I wanted to belong....somewhere, to something.
> Some ex mo's never go to any church again.
> Look up 'Cults' on the internet, and see the
> signs of deprogramming and what to expect. It will
> make it alot easier, at least it did for me.

I didn't realize my post sounded like I was going through this process NOW. I was talking about years ago when I left Mormon Church and all churches.

Leaving was certainly a grief process and you go through all the stages.

Thanks for your post and your post and support would have been music to my ears way back then.

Holy crap! I was looking for something just like this earlier today. I was thinking to myself, "You know...having been born and raised in TSCC has really screwed you up honey..there has to be a term for that."

Thanks for the links. It will be interesting to research.

And if someone accosts me in a church setting, I shut down, and remove myself from the situation.

The first time I went to a church, after leaving Mormonism, a nice, friendly lady came up to me and introduced herself to me. I was cordial, but I felt so anxious, that I left before the service began, and never went back. I can now force myself to go to church, but still can't make contact with the people.

This is not normal behavior for me! I'm close to my family and friends. I feel very comfortable in a business/professional environment, and I'm friends with my collegues. In my vilunteer work, I often give presentations in front of large groups. But, I believe in what I'm doing, I'm educated, trained, and confident. No one is trying to invade my privacy, get into my head, manipulate me, lie to me, and prey on my weaknesses.

Mormons frighten me like creepy clowns with painted smiles. The temple scared the life out of me. Their beliefs are just--bizarre.

I have PTSD anyway (from childhood abuse), and for someone like me, I need to avoid churches to stay happy and sane. I am so burned out.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/02/2010 03:56AM by forestpal.

That's a really good and relevant video.

I'm working on my M. Counseling and think this would be a great specialty area. I wonder if there would be enough clients? I could have used someone who understood when I was first coming out of the church.

Thoughts?

There's thousands, if not tens of thousands of new exmos every year. And for some of us, the wounds aren't even uncovered right away.

I was out for 12 years before I discovered it was all balogna. I thought I was just a bad person unworthy of the light of truth.
I could still use some help, but any secular counselor would recommend seeking a new religion to help deal with the old one. But I'm an atheist now. So I should just move on.
But there are deeper problems in me about PA gender behavior and issues with authority. I can't even sit though a meeting at work without cutting up. I know it will happen, and it's because of my old abhorence of Sunday meetings.

Can I get some ritalin? Eh... I have to start somewhere by seeing someone. But I would love to start with someone familiar with exmo issues. I don't evev want to go to a one on one meeting with a man because it will feel too much like a bishop's interview, but then I don't necessarily trust women either due to the retarded social functioning amongst women in the morg.

Gimme a shout out if you start a practice in WA.

That seems like that would be counterproductive to your recovery. I really think that you should try a therapist and, if need be, several if that's what it takes to find one who will work with you on your own terms. That's really what therapists are supposed to do anyway.

Best wishes.

You might try emailing or calling Dr. Winell to see if she can give you a referral in your area. She also does telephone counseling and has an Internet support group.

If you find a therapist you feel comfortable with, you could educate her a bit about Mormonism. Hopefully, you wouldn't have to do too much educating because *you're* paying afterall.

I started into counseling while I was still a member. My therapist was not LDS (nor religious) but she received referrals from the bishop. I had no intention of leaving the Church, but as I got to know myself better and see what I was about, Mormonism became increasingly intolerable for me. When I left the church, she joked "The Mormon Church is going to quit sending me referrals because every Mormon that sees me who is questioning their church, leaves." We laughed.The bishop did quit sending her referrals, which was fine with her, because she was plenty busy.

The feelings of dislocation, grief, anger, betrayal, anxiety, and fear were very powerful as I went through the process. It took me a few years to sort out.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/03/2010 12:40AM by robertb.

'I could still use some help, but any secular counselor would recommend seeking a new religion to help deal with the old one. But I'm an atheist now. So I should just move on.'

I wouldn't assume they will recommend that. If they know what they are doing, they would support you and encourage you and help you come to terms with whatever decision you make.

Good luck, I hope you find some help :)

I live in a largely Mo area and could just imagine if my business literature said "Specializes in Recovery from Mormonism." hehe

The book looks like a great gift for all those NOMs in your life.