I'm not entirely sure about the actual legitimacy of this, but my sister-in-law no longer allows her 9 year old daughter to have sleep overs at other girls houses due to the counsel of the church. I actually got to overhear them arguing about it right in front of me. It got pretty heated, the daughter started to cry, but the mother wouldn't back off because of the possibility of exposure to child molestation, pornography, inappropriate movies, etc.

As I said, my sister-in-law decided this due to a new "commandment" from a priesthood authority (the argument happened around general conference time, so it might have been from that. But it also could have just been from some stupid bishop or something.)

All I can say is that I feel my nieces pain. Sleep overs were some of my favorite moments in childhood. I experienced a lot of new things at my best buddies house for the first time (coffee, scooters, R-rated movies, paintball guns, lol!). I also grew up in mountains so the scenery around both of our houses were completely different.

Anyone hear any news about this or have any opinions about this issue?

I personally do not think it is a fear of kids turning gay or pregnant, but of uncontrolled discussions on church matters that they have seen online.

I think it is also just another control device to see how far they can push the members, and train the youth to become ever rigid and orthodox, thus securing an ironfisted future where anything that threatens the church will be quelled from within.

Yes. One of the General Authorities talked about it during the last General Conference.

I don't remember what was said but there was a lot of uproar on this site over it.

I'd be a lot more concerned sending my kid for a sleep over because of the threat of guns in the home than I would be concerned about them seeing inappropriate movies.

That said, as a kid, I was sleeping over a friend's house and was asleep in bed when the father came into the room and began to fondle me. When I woke up and questioned him he said he was checking to see if I "wet the bed." Aghast that he would think that of me, I responded "I do not wet the bed" in a tone that caused him to withdraw his hand and slink out. So yes, it does happen.

Whatever happened to "I'm Mormon, and I'm normal!" Baloney like this is going to make anyone who actually listens to it look like a paranoid nutjob, and rightly so. I'd be shocked if one of my kids' friends' parents said, "Well, our church told us to not do sleepovers anymore," and lose all respect for the person. If it were something they came up with on their own for their own good reasons, that's one thing, but for no other reason than the church told them to? Yeah, that's not cultic behavior at ALL. *sarcasm*

It disgusts me that that SCC would have the temerity to tell its members what they can or can't do with their kids. Um, hello, they're the parents and maybe they can decide for their OWN KIDS what is and isn't a good influence?

Parents who follow this and tell their kids, "Well, it's been ok up until now, but suddenly we can't do it anymore!" are failing in their duty to teach their kids to make sensible, well-thought out decisions. Remember that old chestnut, "If your friends told you to jump off a bridge, would you?" Well, if that SCC told you to.....

Pathetic sheeple.

My children are not allowed to stay over night at any TBM's home because I fear they will be exposed to an infectious sort of crazy particular to mormons and other evangelical nut groups.

This is none of the freakin' church's business!!! I don't believe for a minute that they're ACTUALLY concerned for kids' well-being. Why TSCC thinks they get to impose themselves inbetween parent and child is beyond me.

Sleepovers are a decision to be made by parents. PERIOD. We parents are the ones who have the responsibility to ask questions, visit other parents and homes--in short do whatever it takes to keep our children safe. We are certainly better able to do this than a corporation. It's so insulting to all of the caring parents out there.

If TSCC really wants to protect our children, stop putting them alone with an adult male who is asking them inappropriate questions about their private behavior!!! Stupid jerks.

"Why TSCC thinks they get to impose themselves inbetween parent and child is beyond me."

They do this with husband/wife - 'bout time they start getting between parent/child. *sarcasm*

I am ashamed to admit it but my former Mission President, President Lawrence was the GA who came out against, not only sleep overs, but the playing of video games during the last general conferance. http://lds.org/general-conference/2010/10/courageous-parenting?lang=eng He is a member of the 70 now because during the Mish we accomplished the "miracle" of doubling the baptisms in our mission. we baptized children, teen girls and homeless people. Good times. Luckily they all went inactive soon after

YET I mean.

Tonight my kids are going to participate in our church's "Winter Lock In." It's a sleepover at the church for the youth group (both boys and girls) with lots of planned activities and plenty of adult supervision.

Is the Mormon church doing away with Youth Conferences and Especially for Youth that involve an overnight stay? Does it also mean that Mormon high school kids can no longer participate in sports camps unless they're day camps? Or is it only the sleepovers in private homes that they're worried about?

Do you guys have link to were they said not to have sleepovers?

This topic disgusts and infuriates me.

I, personally, LOVED sleepovers as a young girl and teen.

The article really doesn't say for members not to have sleepovers it looks like it is just this one guys opinion.

What a douche I loved sleepovers.

my wife at the time was totally over protective of the kids. OK!

she would not let them have or do sleep overs LONG before LDS Inc went militant on not having them. OK!!

She expressed a great concernt that the daughter might be molested and she was dead set against that. OK!!!

I let her have her way, after all it was good that she was a concerned mother, and better to err on the side of caution. OK!!!!

SO THEN when the daughter turned 14, unbeknownst to me, she put her on birth control & told her to never miss a chance to have a good time or be *popular* with the boys. I was blindsided by finding out that the daughter was having recreational sex with the neighbor boy on a regular basis. NOT OK !!!!!

Even more quizzical, the boy's father was the most repulsive hog of a human being obvious child molestor ever conceivable.Think an ugly version of Peter on family guy plus another 100 pounds and TOTALLY PERVY BEYOND ALL COMPREHENSION!
Yah,that bad!

NO ONE else in the neighborhood would even speak to this POS on two legs based on certain incidents, so NO ONE LIKED or TRUSTED the guy at all, except for that thing I was married to who made him her best friend! AND started allowing sleepovers at his house to accomodate his son's recreational indulgences with the daughter..... NOT OK !!!!!!

and also way too bad because the daughter was already convinced by then that she was entitled to do what ever when ever however she wanted ....just like her mom. They are both a total loss.
(WHAT IN THE HELL KIND OF THING DID I MARRY?)
yah I was perplexed at the time to say the least.
thank god I am divorced from that thing!

here's the big lesson! its not whether some one is being raped/ expolited, or not, that matters, its whether the person being raped likes the person who is responsible for their being raped that matters. the daughter liked the permissive parent -her mom. the latter day saints loved Joe & Brigham. and they dont let anyone tell them any different. take it from there.

Quote from article:
"May I express my personal warning about a practice that is common in many cultures. I am referring to sleepovers, or spending the night at the home of a friend. As a bishop I discovered that too many youth violated the Word of Wisdom or the law of chastity for the first time as part of a sleepover. Too often their first exposure to pornography and even their first encounter with the police occurred when they were spending the night away from home. UAdd a Note
Peer pressure becomes more powerful when our children are away from our influence and when their defenses are weakened late at night. If you have ever felt uneasy about an overnight activity, don’t be afraid to respond to that warning voice inside. Always be prayerful when it comes to protecting your precious children."

Sounds like he is giving his opinion based on his experience as a bishop. He still leaves the decision up to the parents as to what they believe they should do.

1. The thinking has been done.

2. Parents cannot be empowered to make decisions about what is best for their children. (Or what else might they make decisions about?)

3. Let's continue to suck the fun out of the lives of members. We must be sure that no one is having any fun - especially at non-church activities (or what else might they have fun doing?)

After reading the link, it does make it out to be more of his personal opinion than a direct revelation from God. I'm sure had Tommy Monson said this, there would be much different reactions.

But still, I'm sure many Mormon's are following this advice (as my sister-in-law is). Mormon's see these old guys as direct representatives of God, so essentially it's God saying "Don't play violent video games, they are just as harmful as becoming a drug addict" and "Sleepovers will probably rob your child of their innocence."

Of course I'm sure many Mormon's aren't quite so gullible, and will simply continue letting their 9 year old children go have fun at a friends house. Sure, if you have legitimate concerns about the friends house parents, then you should keep them home and instead offer to let the friend come to your house. But the most hardcore are probably following this.

I refuse to dismiss something that was said from a general conference pulpit by a GA to a world-wide audience "just one man's opinion." Members are trained from a very early age to believe that priesthood holders in general, and GA's in particular, receive direct revelation from god, himself, for them and they are to be obeyed.

Members are never, ever encouraged to dismiss GA's "counsel" as being "just one man's opinion." That's one of the things that is so ironic about many JS and BY quotes, which are NOW described just that way by apologists.

No, it wasn't considered just one man's opinion THEN. Members are and were strongly discouraged from thinking on their own behalf, so "just one man's opinion" in Moism doesn't fly.

I read the article and then gave a nice reply..."I have 9 kids and I understand very well how important it is to know your childrens friends and what activities your children are involved in,but........" I can guarantee they have probably already deleted my response,but it felt really good to say what I did.

First of all, why is this even a topic for general conference? It has nothing to do with the gospel, religion or anyything else that they should be taking about and it is none of their business to boot. If they must address the topic, how about a warning to be careful about whom you trust with your kids with? Of course, careful parents already know this and and careless parents probably aren't listening anyway.A warning about protecting your kids and knowing the people they are staying with is one thing, but it is ridiculous to be this specific. Kids can be molested anywhere including the bishop's office and kids wanting to have sex or drink will find a way whether they go to sleepovers or not. We had sleepovers all the time and never got into trouble . I even stayed at my best friend's house when her parents were out of town because she was afraid to stay alone. Nothing happened because we were good kids and our parents trusted us to stay alone. If they hadn't, her parents would have made other arrangements. Geez! Let parents decide such things based on circumstances and the trustworthiness of the people involved.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/04/2010 04:14PM by bona dea.