Back in my day, you had to be ex-communicated, found unworthy. You had to EARN your Exmo badge. They'd have a kangaroo court and tell everybody what a piece of shit you were. Then you had the opportunity to tell any of them who cared that they could kiss your ass. In my case, since I'd moved to a new community and never attended church, I didn't know any of them anyway so I didn't actually have to tell them that. I hope they assumed it was my feeling about them.

It was back in the late 70's in Glendale Arizona. They'd called several times to ask when the home teachers could come over and give me my lessons. I told them I didn't want them over anytime and to quit bothering me. One night there was a knock on the door and there was a half dozen or so slack jawed brain dead Mobots standing there, the home teachers, some kind of half assed missionary or two, a bishops counselor and I don't know what all. They DEMANDED that I have the home teachers in right then and there or write out a letter asking to be ex-communicated.

Looking back on it later I realized I should have just told them to go f--k themselves rather than to let them think they had any right to demand anything of me. Shooting one or two of the bastards would have been a nice touch but there are legal complications. But in the heat of the moment I just wrote them a short letter saying I didn't bleeve the bullshit any more and didn't consider myself a member of the church anymore.

In due course they sent me a letter telling me they were going to hold some kind of kangaroo court, which I didn't grace with my presence, and after that I got this letter telling me what a low life scum bag I'd become and I wasn't even worthy to pay tithing. I thought I ought to send them a check for 5 bucks just to see if they'd cash it but I wasn't curious enough to waste 5 dollars.

So that's how it was done back in the 70's in the wild West. I see people today agonizing over whether or not to send in their resignation. I hope they appreciate. J

Did you really just start a "my suffering was so much worse than yours" thread? That's like an AIDS patient sticking their finger in the face of a Cancer patient and saying "quit bitching, mine is worse".

I mean sure, maybe AIDS is worse, but the person with Cancer still has CANCER.

I'm not saying it wasn't tough for you to deal with. The church has certainly become a lot more mellow since the 70's, but they are still an organization full of dicks who treat those who try to leave like vermin, regardless of how they leave.

More like the guy who picks out the defective brown M&Ms before they go into the bag telling the guy who picks out the defective red M&Ms that he has it worse.

Yes, I do appreciate having the option, because for me, it felt like I was leaving on my terms, rather than theirs, and I love my "you're out" letter.

I also appreciate the ex-Mo pioneers (and those of other faiths) who paved the way for us to have the option that we do have today.

I thought it was funny. By the time they did it to me I was completely out and having moved out of Utah I didn't have Mormons around me in my everyday life. To me it was painless and I thought, kind of funny. Sorry if I came across as belittling the problems others go through. I realize that for some people it's a major league crises affecting every part of their lives. That would be much harder than what I had to deal with.

...same thing happened to me at 18. It was in the 70's and they thought they ran my life. I didn't put up with their BS and they exed me.

I'm with you... this resigning shit is for pussies.

Nice to see you around!

Timothy

Cactus Jim is one of the oldtimers (and I can't believe it but I'm in that crowd now too, having been here for an unbelievable 60% of RfM's lifetime). I took his post as being tongue-in-cheek. That is in his style at times. I know he totally wouldn't mean to dismiss anyone's real suffering.

I understand though. It took me a good long while around here to be able to laugh.

But it's fun to get to that stage. Not that I'm always laughing. There are still too many pressing non-humourous issues. But there comes a time when there is also room for a laugh.

So thanks CJ! Again, it's lovely to see you here. Hope things are going well down there.

I Nightingale, it's been a long time since I've hung out on RFM. I'm doing great. I had my knee replaced last spring and I'm just getting to where I can go hiking and backpacking. The Titanium is working fine and the weather is in the 70's here in Arizona. Life is good and I'm glad I'm not bogged down in some stupid cult.

I got the humor immediately <snort>

You make a solid case Cactus Jim. If I could go back and hold a kangaroo court with the a-hole leaders I grew up with I'd go out in a blaze of glory. I live on the other side of the country now so it would just be a bunch of poor saps I've never met......not the same. Love your story though....what a bunch of pricks.

Because that is the way they would do things. How crazy is that?

a guy who just doesn't put up with a lot of crap. Good for you.

Yeah, legal complications can get in the way sometimes can't they.

ROFL Cactus Jim.

BTW, I resigned back when you still only had to wait 30 days (sometimes less) to get your final letter. So I guess I'm an even bigger wuss that the poor folk who are having to wait 3 or 4 months now.

were they scared of losing your $$$?

Geez, your post brought back memories. I got out early 80s and always remember hearing about the dreaded "panel of a million questions" (like "DO YOU DENOUNCE JS AS A TRUE PROPHET", etc.) to get out. I finally just walked out one Sunday and never looked back. What freedom!

Glad you found your freedom too.

Haha nice, perhaps I'll get an opportunity to tell a bunch of Mormons who think they have control over my life to go have sex with themselves.

You don't care whether the toxic stuff leaves by going up or down as long as you get it out of your system?

or

Who cares if you go out through the front door or a window as long as you get out of the burning building?

Quite frankly, I just don't give a sh** what the church thinks of me.

I have decided that sending in a resignation, is like acknowledging that they ever owned you in the first place. Or that they have the power to accept or reject you. Well they don't! You just thought they did, and so did they. You're acknowledging that the membership was "real" at any point. It wasn't.

And I will tell them what I have discovered about the churches history in plain English too, if they ever ask why I'm not coming anymore. I don't care what they do with my name. Don't care if they remove it, don't care if they keep it. I don't care if they print it on rolling paper, and use it to smoke a blunt! I don't have to go there, or do what they say. I don't even have to answer their letters, phone calls, or the door.

What if they call me in for a meeting to be ex-communicated??

Um.... So what! Oh right, like I'm actually gonna go? LMAO!! You wouldn't even show up for something like that, unless you gave a sh**, or believed they had the authority to beckon you hither for a meeting in the first place (which they don't).

If they come to my door demanding to come in, I will just tell them they can leave on their own, or they can leave in hand cuffs, its their choice. Then slam the door and BLAST my ipod over my stereo with Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrO4YZeyl0I

If they send me a letter in the mail announcing my ex-communication, I will just leave it unopened and write "Return To Sender" on it. I want them to know that I don't even give a sh** enough to read it. To me, its not even a valid document.

I just don't give a damn. It is their own goofy delusion to think they have any authority whatsoever. They don't.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 12/03/2010 09:37PM by melissa3839.

when I asked in 1965 to be removed from their records. No, he said, I'd have to request my own excommunication. It certainly helped me realize I was doing the right thing.

These young whippersnappers just don't understand how bad it was to walk through the snow back then barefoot.

Are you the Cactus Jim I used to talk to on an anti-polygamy board about a generation ago?

That be me. I kind of wandered away from the Polygamy issue. I still talk to Flora Jessop from time to time but I'm not up on what's going on. I got kind of frustrated with it and my interest just went off in other directions.

When I left there was no name withdrawal either. That was a long time ago and I haven't resigned. I'd rather be exed. I'm surprised I haven't been since I haven't paid tithing in 35 years.

Why hang on to me? In my mind it's like an old job I quit when I was a kid and moved on to better things and better people. Whoever heard of resigning from a job you quit a long time ago?

Good to hear from you Cactus Jim, it's been awhile.

Glad you didn't appear in front of their "court". Jerks!!! Talk about arrogant. I was amazed to read how many showed up at your door. Was that a forced kind of thing too or did they all really want to be there to annoy you? sick cult!

I don't know why they did that or why so many. They were just there about 10 minutes. I wrote out the letter and they left. I guess probably someone wanted to purge their rolls of in-actives so they were laying out the ultimatums. People of an authoritarian follower mindset are most comfortable in mobs so maybe that explains it.

I had the same situation almost exactly. I think people nowaday have no idea how crappy it was a couple of decades ago.

Suffering WAS worse in one respect back then. We had NO choice. If you wanted to leave, they only thing they did was excommunication.

Having your name called out at sacrament meeting as being excommunicated just because you don't believe is a hell of a lot worse than just sending in a letter.

It's humiliating.

If you only had to send in a letter, you are darn lucky.

"a half dozen or so slack jawed brain dead Mobots standing there"

That is priceless! I had to read it to my nevermo DH who also thought it was great. I'm picturing some sort of zombie movie. LOL.

Thank you - great post!

My son wants to know HOW to get excommunicated. None of us feel the need to resign. I agree with melissa. I could care less what they do with my so-called membership.