Bishop Isaac Milton Rood drove his 1974 Lincoln Continental into the Minnesota Minnitiwoka 4th Ward parking lot, and was surprised to see a great number of cars parked there.

"Hmmmm, Bishop Duffuss of the Minnitiwoka 3rd Ward must be holding a special meeting of something. I'll just go into my office to catch up on some important paperwork and tithing embezzlement. Rent is coming due." He thought to himself.

He walked in and was stuck by the pugent smell that waifed through the air.

"Man! They most be having one lousy potluck during the middle of the day."

As he walked towards his office the smell got even stronger.
He opened the door to the cultural hall....

"OH MY GOD!!!!" He yelled in terror as he saw naked dead bodies tied up with yarn all about the place. Blood was everywhere. Heads removed from bodies, your basic Stephen King type scene.

He heard some slight moaning coming from one of the women.
"What in heaven's name happened?!" Rood said running up to the woman moaning.

"No priesthood brethren to keep us in line. We went nuts with power. A war broke out between to sects of sisters. Then we started taking string and yarn, and kitchen instruments and commenced going nuts. Then armed bandits came in and started making their way with us, and killing off the rest of us. If we had only had 2 Priesthood brethren available, according to the Handbook of Instructions, none of this would have happened." Sister Mills slumped over and died.

"NOOOO!!!! Why did I forget to assign to Priesthood holders to watch out for the women and keep them out of trouble!!??"

He sniffled.."How am I going to blame this one on their husbands for not being faithful enough, I have no idea?"

He headed back to his office to develop a plan. He knew he should probably call the civil authorities, he just needed a way to explain it.

But now he knew with every fiber of his being why they needed to have 2 priesthood brethren at the women's events. To avoid stuff like this from happening.

Great!!!

I love it!! I always wondered what would happen

rofl

unfortunately, this isn't all that far off Reality.

A 'sista' was alone (?) doing some clerical work in a building in Bellevue, WA, and was assaulted a LONG time ago.

Shit Happens, but it's still an amusing story (to those that Weren't Harmed, that is).

Ah! So THIS is the reason the RS always has to have Penishood breathing down their necks....why, the helpless little ninnies couldn't get through a meeting without killing each other!! I have learned something today.

It isn't just when they are in groups. They don't want women alone in the church either. There were several organists in my ward and it was mentioned they would prefer that the female organists not be there practicing alone. Apparently if there is some murderer in there it is okay if I am there alone because I am a man and can beat him up but if a woman is there alone she will get killed.

I guess they need two because if it was just one he'd be humping a sister in the kitchen.