He leaves tomorrow so we met for lunch today, and had a nice long talk. He knows that I love him, that I will always be here if he needs anything, and that if he ever feels he needs to come home early, I will make sure it happens that very day. It was a wonderful moment for us both, but I did get extremely teary-eyed and sad. I was strong until the very end though. He gave me a letter he had written me thanking me for being his Dad, for attending his farewell, telling me that he loves me, and that he thinks I am a great man and a wonderful Father. I could not ask for a better son.
Thanks to all of you for your love and support. I appreciate it all so much. It's wonderful knowing that many of you have been through similarly tough things such as this and can understand some of how I am feeling. I am sure I will be okay, but it is going to be damned tough for awhile.
Anyway, thanks to you all.

You have shown yourself to be authentic and that will not be lost on him and he encounters more and more hypocrisy within TSCC.

Yours has been a most poignant story. Thanks!

My daughter grew up knowing that I was gay. She was three and one half when her mother and I split up. She has never had a problem with it. She was raised in the mormon church by her mother. She is open minded and has sang solos a couple of times in the gay church that I attend. She is 28 now. She did marry a non mormon.
I am sure your son loves you has his dad. You being gay has nothing to do with it one way or the other.
You did wonderful.
HUGS to you.

You raised a son who respects and loves you. What more is there?

Good luck and best wishes to you and to your son.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/14/2010 09:26PM by wine country girl.

Aren't you glad you went to his farewell now? It sure sounds like your son really appreciated it. He's so lucky to have such a supportive dad. And the same goes for you! I think he'll turn out just fine despite the mission.

Wendell, you've done all you can do. It's not all finished and that things may well change very much. You're there if he needs you, and if he were to be disillusioned and have to return, you may be the only one there for him. He'll learn a lot of life's lessons by and by, anyway. Best of luck with this, and thanks for sharing. It's actually a privilege to be privy to stories like yours.

Oh my, Wendell. I have tears in my eyes. Thank you for sharing your experience here. You are such an inspiration. Thank you. I am hugging you in my heart.

Honestly, you have made my life so much better. Thanks.

I'm so happy for you. Your son sounds like a really great person. He will most certainly see the light one of these days. You obviously did a good job raising him.

Aren't you glad you went to the farewell after all?

You're a great dad, and it sounds like somebody else realizes that, too. Good job.

;o)

Whenever he hears declarative, judgmental comments on his mission, he'll contrast that attitude to your example and life. Things often take time to play out, but he will notice it. As the proud father of a gay son, I commend you for your honesty and courage.

The outcome so far proves you made the right choice, even though it was very tough to be on their turf under the circumstances.

I have a feeling having a noble gay father to set alongside the doctrine of the lying haters is going to sink in and--who knows? Might free him!

Love ya Wendell--You're our hero!


Anagrammy

Knowing the Mormons the way I do, your love is probably the greatest source of unconditional love in your son's life. He is luck to have you for a father. I'm so glad he realizes it, and that he told you so!

Thank you for sharing your story with us!

((((group hug))))

I agree with Twinker that this will prove to be a pivotal moment in your relationship with your son.

Thank you for sharing your ups and downs with us for the last several months. You are an inspiration to all of us on the board!

(((Wendell)))

Telling him that he was free to come home at any time was a great move on your part. I knew lots of misssionaries who never would have stayed out there but for the fact that it would have destroyed their parents if they came home early.

Wendell, thank you for sharing this whole story with us. It has been so interesting to see how things have developed and this was the perfect ending to this chapter. You are a great dad and it sounds like you raised a great son! I know how hard good byes are. I'm sending you some more hugs as well, if you can stand a few more! LOL!!

I'm glad to hear it went well. Good for you, Wendell.

HUGS!

I'm a little confused, is the son going on a mission or is he comming out of the closet?

Could go either way by the comments.

Yes, Wendell's son is leaving for his Mormon mission. Wendell himself is gay, but he still supported his son by attending the farewell gathering even though he thinks the Mormon church is bunk.

Good man, Wendell! So glad you made the right decision, found in your own heart, for your own situation! Rather than following someone else's advice, you appraised your own situation and acted on it, and it was obviously the right decision. You have a great son who loves you very much. That letter is priceless!

I love that kid so much... I only hope he truly knows how much his love has helped me to cope with this entire situation. Thanks to you all.

"I only hope he truly knows how much his love has helped me to cope with this entire situation."

He sounds like a chip off the ol' block! ;-)

I haven't followed your story but can pretty much guess...

Such great news to get that letter from your son. I have always thought that there are Mormons out there that can and do love unconditionally.

What a beautiful letter for any parent to get from their child.

That letter from him absolutely made it okay for me to allow him to go. Yes, I have still been crying some, but knowing he loves me makes it a billion times easier.

I have really enjoyed all your posts Wendell. I really admire you for being honest with everyone,especially your son. You said you had a great son-where do you think that came from? He has a great,honest dad.Thank you for sharing.

Some missionaries feel trapped when they find that missionary life is not what they expected or that they don't really believe. You have given your son an alternative, should that happen, and I suspect that will be of great comfort to him - he's covered, so to speak, for all possibilities. He knows that he can come to you without being judged.

You have taken the high road. Congrats.

What a lucky man to have such a loving son. He will remember your words and support every day he is gone.

I am glad that you have a good relationship with your son. When tough times come, he will be able to turn to you and I hope he does.