I don't post here with as much frequency as I used to, but all the same, I consider this place -- especially many of the folks who contribute -- to be of a tremendous value to my personal journey.

We're born once, I've told my wife before, but the number of times we come alive after that birth is truly remarkable.

Because of technology that exists in today's civilization, I count myself incredibly lucky to have been given a heads-up; a window of time I can expect to experience life as 'me.' As little as six months or as many as 5 years depending on how well my body responds to the poison that will be administered to it.

So I've decided to make a sober decision to spend what time remains in life by focusing my energies on coming alive as never before; an encore of sorts. And with that decision, and as much as I've not just appreciated, but been a part of the journey with so many of you in the recent past couple of years, I want to leave you with my best wishes. I want to thank you all for being the beautiful and brilliant smiles and eyes behind the computers and devices from which you type your words of solace, humor, understanding, and friendship. You are certainly soft places on the rough patches of the journey.

Mormonism has and always will be a part of me. What a journey it has been.

The irony, is that I honestly attempted to end the journey a couple of years ago. I simply couldn't do it anymore. I had lost everything. And then, by some sweet reprieve, I started getting some of it back. The journey from there to here has been one of tremendous highs and lows, particularly in having to break the news to my precious wife that Mormonism wasn't what it claimed to be. We've both since left the organization and have been learning to build new strategies for how to live life -- like animals born into captivity, Mormonism in this case, we've been set free into the wild to live life and come alive as never before. To love and learn and experience life in ways we could never have imagined.

As with the Mormon truth, I'm at a loss of how to break this sudden biological truth concerning my life to my wife. I know that on rare occasions she'll lurk on some of these boards, but she does so infrequently that I doubt she'll find this before the holidays. I intend to wait until after the holidays are over to break the news to her. Sweet Stuff, if you're reading this now, you already know how much I love you, and how you've made me come alive so many times throughout our life together.

For the rest of you folks, I suppose I'm announcing my retirement from the discussion of Mormonism to embark on this new journey and come alive in new and fascinating ways.

I won't say I'll never rejoin the discussion, but it's very likely that I won't. Just like I'll never forget so many of you who indulged and entertained my rantings and thoughts during an interesting part of my personal journey.

I can't even wrap my head around the concept of being given news like that. But definitely Go! Enjoy life! Go to Europe, Asia, wherever tickles your fancy. Take a leak on the Salt Lake Temple. Grab every bit of life while the gettings good. And thank whatever higher being you believe in (if any) that you're no longer a Mormon with all that attached guilt.

You have a way with words Shamdango. It touches my heart. One day I hope to be able to write like you.

I'm sorry to hear of your illness and that you must go through this incredibly difficult thing. The courage and strength you exhibit through your words are an inspiration to me.

Thank you for all your contributions, I particularly relished the information on your website/blog. I'd love to be able to contribute something in return, keeping your research and words available for others to see. DH might be able to put it on the server with its own FTP. Shoot me an email if you feel up to it. emanonpost@gmail.com

The important thing is to enjoy each day and to do what we really want to do as far as that is possible.

All the best to you Shamdango. Life has many twists and turns--I hope yours are most interesting.

I just don't know what to say. I'm so sorry. You will be missed here, but you've clearly got more important things to do. Maybe I do too. Thank you.

Ah gee Shamdango it's been good having you around these parts. May you enjoy what is left of your life knowing that some people think you're a wonderful person who has enriched the lives of those of us lucky enough to have read your story.

You have my very best wishes. And who knows maybe they'll find just the right poison to keep you among us for many more years. Stranger things have happened.

Charley

Few posts have ever affected me so profoundly as yours this day, Shamdango.

Thank you for your words--and may the encores take you to the fullness of your every wish and imagining--and for the path they illuminate.

Good journeys to you and yours.

May your swan song be joyous and memorable, shamdango.

Wow! Such grace and dignity. Pleasant journey Shamdango.

peace love and understanding

Maybe some advice, though: I think you should tell your wife right now. You need her love and support, and much as she needs to give it.

Doctors are usually very negative. You might be around longer than you think.

I've always admired you, especially because you were able to leave the cult together with your wife, and not let it break up your marriage. Congratulations for that.

Come join us insomniacs in the wee hours of the morning, if you need to talk to someone, and everyone else is asleep. We've been missing you here.

(((hugs)))

I'm sorry to hear that.

May you enjoy all the time you have to the fullest, and may you be happy. The world will be a little smaller without you (but I hope that doesn't happen for a good long time).

Over ten years ago I was diagnosed with cancer and treated and told I was okay. Two years later I found out I had metastasis of my prior cancer to my liver and I was stage 4 with 6 to 12 months to live unless surgery might help. I had surgery, started chemo, and decided to not continue that after two sessions. It has been over 9 years with no sign of the cancer returning. So things can turn okay even though it looks very bad.

That said and not knowing your circumstances at all, all I can say is do your best and hope for the best. I know your spouse will be totally understanding and there for you. I envy you in that you were able to discover the problems of Mormonism along with your spouse and leave together while it cost me a near 40 year marriage that ended coming up on 4 years now.

Live your life a happily as you can and certainly do the things that will bring you and your spouse the happiness that you can find while you are still alive and cherish those times together. You may not have much time left but don't give up on the chance that you can overcome.......... it can happen!

I wish you and your spouse the very best and good luck with what happens from here.

I really don't know you, but what you have written really spoke to me about who you are; a strong, positive, loving person. I was really taken by your graceful way of acceptance and your courage. Go live out the rest of your life, whether it be days, months, years, or eons, with all the joy you can muster! I wish you the very best on this next chapter of your life.

I understand exactly what you mean when you express your gratitude at KNOWING the Mormon cult is a slave factory from which you and spouse are now free...and having escaped while still alive to enjoy the rest of your life as "YOU". Those are my own sentiments exactly!

Sorry, my fingers glitched and accidently posted... I want to let you know that my most sincere and warmest thoughts go to you and your wife.

i am glad you feel like you have a new lease on life...no matter how short! maybe i can take away some of that attitude for myself! :)... anyway i hope your treatments are not too harsh...and i think another poster is correct.... maybe you should tell the wifey! you may be trying to protect her holiday....but maybe it will mean more to her if you do tell her now.... anyway think about it! heres wishing you a good holidays and good luck with your treatments!~

Congrats on the new chapter. Perphaps we'll hear of a sequel one day. Peace, love, joy and happiness be with you on the journey.

And I will share them with many others. I wish you well!



We're born once, but the number of times we come alive after that birth is truly remarkable.

Your posts have been thought-provoking and poignant. Many thanks for sharing parts of your most interesting journey with us. We are the better for it.

You have a good attitude and are surrounded by love IRL, a gift indeed.

Here's hoping for a "medical miracle". Your song has just begun! If cut short, it will be all the sweeter for packing a lot of living into a shorter time frame.

Fight the good fight. You've had plenty of practice at it.

All the very best thoughts go out to you. It would be wonderful to hear from you again some day with a joyous update.

I am sitting here at work and I read your post and tears just started flowing. I am this guy that looks like I belong to Hell's Angels but I am sitting here and your words have touched a place in my heart that few have ever touched.

All I can say is that I send you my love, peace, and hope for the new life you are hoping to find. May God or Universe or whoever it is that rules this place go with you and may you find everything you are looking for.

Peace and love from this old biker dude!!!