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Posted by: Titanic Survivor ( )
Date: July 16, 2012 10:09AM

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Posted by: knotheadusc ( )
Date: July 16, 2012 10:46AM

Thanks for posting this. I had not seen it.

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Posted by: Brother Of Jerry ( )
Date: July 16, 2012 11:14AM

Plus his father got involved in it after a psychological breakdown. When you are drowning, a floating piece of busted door looks good.

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Posted by: SL Cabbie ( )
Date: July 16, 2012 11:50AM

I just sort of skimmed the article, and it seems to me that author Kirn could use use a little "perspective" and realize his dysfunctional family amounted to "golden prospects" for the missionaries that converted him. Perhaps then he might truly come to terms with the toxicity...

And this long, self-indulgent piece seems to me to have more in common with general dysfunction--not that I can't relate; I certainly do, perhaps too much--rather than actual Mormonism-specific dysfunction. At least the BIC sort I come here to learn about in my "personal quest" to re-write my own childhood with a happy ending...

He indulges in some "smears" of Mormonism himself, detailing his troubled girlfriend and regaling us with a bit of teenage titillation; why, one wonders, hasn't he engaged in the sort of introspection to see why he "pursued" such sorts; I see he's still talking of "a girl he met via the Internet" and other stuff...

I wish him well, but I think he should come hang out here for a while and plunge into exorcising his own issues before attempting to offer anything really objective about Mormon ones.

His "sympathy for Mitt" is a codependent one...

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Posted by: imaworkinonit ( )
Date: July 16, 2012 11:54AM

But the cool thing is that exmos are also good at making those instant connections.

The difference for me, is that when I'm sitting aroun chatting with exmo women, we don't have to pretend that everything is great. Exmo women actually talk about the challenges in their lives and with their kids. And from what I've seen, they don't judge or gossip about each other.

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Posted by: myselfagain ( )
Date: July 16, 2012 12:16PM

Great article, but to me this is the best line:

"Sometimes a person doesn’t know what he’s made of until strangers try to tear it down."

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Posted by: badseed ( )
Date: July 16, 2012 01:01PM

It hits on an idea that I sometimes forget:
Growing up Mormon had it good points. The social activities in the 70s and 80s were pretty fun. Dances, youth conferences etc. I can relate to his comment about his attachement to the faith being hormonal. Man, the girls in my were cute— and we had a lot of fun.

It was the transition between the religion of my youth and adult Mormonism that created the issues for me though. Actually more accurately it was fully living Mormonism that caused problems. As a young kid the religion provided a tribe and an identity but I never looked too deeply at the beliefs.

This guy left at 17. No Temple, no mission, no tithing and calling drudgery along with the doubts about the doctrine. I wonder how much different his story would have been had he statyed til he was an adult.

I also find it interesting how he split but the LDS girl w/ the pioneer heritage who he partied with stayed and 'repented' of her evil ways. Not that it news or anything but how enmeshed one's family is in the LDS culture is huge in whether they continue to overlooked all of the issues and stay.

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Posted by: flo, the nevermo ( )
Date: July 16, 2012 01:29PM

My first thoughts were these.

1) This person feels warm and happy and included in the Mormon community he found later in life solely because it feels familiar to the scenario that "saved" his troubled self as a teen. He never attempted to analyze any of it then and still doesn't. Just feelin' it. He even describes how he responds warmly to the child-like atmosphere of it all. There's a sorrowful feeling to all of that for me, and I think it 's coming from the fact that the guy still hasn't grown up in many ways. Unclear if he recognizes that. It doesn't come across as nostalgic in a good way, even though that seems to be his view of it.

2) I can't resist commenting on his expectation for a 'burning in the belly' instead of the bosom. Oh, my . . . I . . . oh, dear.

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Posted by: SL Cabbie ( )
Date: July 16, 2012 03:17PM

"I think it 's coming from the fact that the guy still hasn't grown up in many ways."

You put it more succinctly than I did, but I was doubtless troubled by the realization I still have growing to do and didn't want to appear too hypocritical.

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Posted by: Mia ( )
Date: July 16, 2012 01:34PM

The mormon hi school girl's family describes to a T a family I once knew in Burley.

If it is, he dodged a bullet of massive proportions.

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Posted by: postmormongirl ( )
Date: July 16, 2012 01:54PM

This was a really good article and it did remind of some of the good things about Mormon culture.

But at the end, I couldn't help but think how different his story would have been had he grown up in a very strict family. He was lucky - the rest of his family wasn't Mormon, he left when he was seventeen. He didn't have to deal with the intense indoctrination or the very real anger/heartbreak that happens when a person from a TBM family decides to leave. And that is a completely different story, one that overshadows the community/social aspect of Mormonism.

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Posted by: just a thought ( )
Date: July 16, 2012 02:17PM

I loved what he had to about those probing personal worthiness interviews:

"So why put us through the whole confusing ordeal? To be asked if you lied and be forced to lie again was annoying and dispiriting. It prevented you from pretending you were good, which is sometimes, with kids, what helps you to be good."

So true.

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Posted by: flo, the nevermo ( )
Date: July 16, 2012 02:53PM

Oh, no. Oh, no!

Is that how people look back on it on it?

I'm gonna say it straight up:

You WERE good. You were children! You WERE good!

What they prevented you from doing was seeing precisely that. Obviously, they did a dam# fine job of it.

One more time: YOU WERE GOOD!

Anybody want me to type it again? I'm right, you know.

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