Never ceases to amaze me how much of these two things there still are outside of Mormonism.

I realize that judging people is human nature; we are all guilty of it, and if you say you aren't your a big fat fucking liar.

Still, I thought once I freed myself from the Mormon church, I'd have less of this type of thing in my life. Not so. I continue to be judged and treated like a total idiot nearly every day by some person or another, even by people who have no fucking idea who I am or what I'm about, and who probably wouldn't even bother to try to get to know me before making up their mind exactly what kind of guy I am.

I guess that's all I had to say.

Oh yeah...Mormonism.

Caveat: Just so people know, I'm not fishing for compliments here or people to feel sorry for me. This is just some of what's happening in my brain right now.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/15/2010 08:51PM by GayLayAle.

I judge you based on what I know from you here and on facebook, and I judge that you're great. Sorry that other people can't see that. They're missing out. :0)


angsty

Proud to be Mikey's bitch since 2008.

I judge you to be one of my favorite posters on this board. You're always fun and playful.

Too bad other people can't see beyond puritanism. :(



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/15/2010 08:47PM by maria.

You might be giving people reasons to judge you based on your preoccupations. We also invite the world to judge us when we repeatedly ask them to focus on us.

I'm going to do my very best to keep this response on an even keel and not reduce myself to base personal attacks.

That being said, anon, you have absolutely no idea who I am or what my so-called "preoccupations" are, and in your response, you give the perfect example of what I'm talking about in my original post. By the way, just a simple request read: REQUEST- if you choose to respond to any post I make, I would appreciate not being patronized and talked down to like a five year old.

If you would bother to do a simple search of things I've posted about (and for the record, today is the first day I've posted in about a week) you'll find that my "preoccupations" and "repeatedly asking people to focus on me" are not based on one single topic. If you sank yourself to my level down here in the gutter for five minutes and deigned to pay any attention to the things I write about, and not single out one random post, you'd know that I have a very offbeat sense of humor, which some people-not everyone- appreciate, but also a very serious side. Sometimes I like to make comments to get a laugh out of people, sometimes shocking things. If you, or anyone else for that matter, don't find what I say funny, or you think I'm "preoccupied" with a specific subject, or you're offended in some respect, don't read my posts. It's as simple as that. We all have a choice in the things we read here. It is not yours or anyone else's, save the Admins, job to censor what I say here. If you don't like it, don't read it.

Admins, I apologize for bringing this subject up again, but I'm irritated by people making blanket assumptions about me based on one post that was meant to make people laugh.

Mormonism.

You're right I don't know who you are. Most of what I read you post has to do with being sexually preoccupied, asking for an audience. I did not respond to hurt you. I responded in the nonMormon way of saying straightforward that if you say you're judged every day every where you might want to know why you're giving an impression to judge. Since there is a pattern on what you project at least here it might be useful to take a look and see if what you'r giving people to judge could be making a mistake. If youre hoping to be perceived differently you might let people know who you are by focusing communication less on one area of the anatomy. Hurt though you are, your response says more about you as a person than most of what I've read for years cause for one theres no sexualizing defense to hide behind.

It's good to know I can come here and talk to you and not have to pay my real therapist $100 an hour anymore. Saves me a lot on money and time.

Really, I'm done with this conversation. You're welcome to make any assumptions about who and what I am. Feel free. I gave this a lot of thought last night and this morning and decided that there's absolutely no reason for me to change who I am and censor my humor and my thoughts just because I'm worried about what you or anyone else thinks. We talk a lot on this board about living authentically, which is what I strive to do. I already wasted a huge chunk of my life walking on eggshells around everyone because I was so terrified about offending them or making them uncomfortable. It takes too much goddamn energy to do that.

You've decided in your infinite wisdom and expertise that I use sexual innuendo as a defense and to hide who I really am, when the truth is, I know who I am, and I have no reason to hide that from anyone. Believe me, the irony isn't lost on me that you tell me I'm hiding and yet you to duck behind your anonymous nickname and pass judgment on me when really it seems to me you should be looking more at yourself and questioning why the hell you're worried so much about what I choose to discuss here. As I said before, if you don't like what I have to say, don't read it.

It's ironic that what you've posted is a really significant reason I hate the Mormon church. It's filled with nosy people who like to give their opinion about every little thing, when really it's none of their business. You say you're using a non-Mormon straightforward approach, when really all you're doing is giving me advice you think I need based on knowing nothing about me.

Again, that's all I have to say about the subject, other than you might consider taking a page from your own book.

Cheers.

(Mormonism)

anon Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I responded in the nonMormon
> way of saying straightforward that if you say
> you're judged every day every where you might want
> to know why you're giving an impression to judge.

Right. So instead of taking the behavior of judgmental strangers to task for inappropriate behavior, Mikey needs to hide himself to avoid their scrutiny? I call B.S.


> Since there is a pattern on what you project at
> least here it might be useful to take a look and
> see if what you'r giving people to judge could be
> making a mistake. If youre hoping to be perceived
> differently you might let people know who you are
> by focusing communication less on one area of the
> anatomy. Hurt though you are, your response says
> more about you as a person than most of what I've
> read for years cause for one theres no sexualizing
> defense to hide behind.

Are you actually saying that because you've encountered some sexually oriented post on this board that Mikey must necessarily ALWAYS AND IN ALL SITUATIONS discuss such topics? Come on! Seriously!?!

More to the point: what precisely is the issue with bringing up sexual topics? I'm of the opinion if you can't have frank and honest discussions about sex, you're probably not mature enough to be having it.

Mikey: don't EVER change. We love you just the way you are.

And for those who feel a compulsion to judge you for that, well, fuck 'em in the earhole.

I always enjoy your posts GayLayAle. I have a brother (though not gay) who has a sense of humor very similar to yours. We talk on the phone all the time and sometimes I am surprised at what comes out of his mouth. But he ALWAYS makes me laugh. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer 6 years ago he was the first person I told. His comment? "You never had any boobs to begin with." I was shocked to begin with,but he was just trying to lighten the mood. And it helped keep things in perspective for me. I didn't need my boobs now did I? He loves to talk about sexual things and all his kids are the same. It is a riot to be around them all. Oh,and he is hard core tbm. So keep the funnies coming GayLayAle.

Butt out!

Do we really want people to know the real person? My impression of people who sexualize alot is that its a defense against letting the real person be known or exposed. Many people get the impression of someone who compulsively sexualizes in their communications that the person is superficial or has a compulsion or self obsession. If its important to be known--the real person, you might consider communicating on a new level.

You can't swing a dead cat around RFM without hitting one of my very sexualized posts. You've never had a problem until a gay man posts something of a sexual nature. So....is it all sexual posts you object to or just the ones from gay folks?

is that they are gutless, snivelling cowards.

But hey, I could be wrong.

Something tells me I'm not, though.

... do so as a defense against letting folks know who they really are.

Posters who "sexualize" a lot are obviously more comfortable with their sexuality than you are with yours.

You seem a tad confused, but that doesn't surprise me.

This is the Gospel according to Timothy ... Free your mind and the rest will follow.

Timothy



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/16/2010 04:32PM by Timothy.

"When I was in my 20s, I would walk into a party and worry that I was dressed OK, that people would be impressed and that people would like me. Now, in my 40s, when I walk into a party, I hope there will be someone there that I like."

My point is, aren't you like 30 or so? Maybe it's just common, at your age to worry about being judged and as you get old and in your 40s, like me, it won't bother you so much. Because you've already figured out that the really worthwhile people are the ones who get to know you and love you for exactly who you are. That group of people will grow in numbers in your life and the idiots judging in the background will fade away to nothingness.

I can't remember the specific topic or the poster involved, but a year or two ago a thread here at RFM drifted toward the subject of women's clothing styles.

For whatever reason, I commented that I don't follow fashions or trends. I choose what's comfortable and meets the basic dress code wherever I'm going to be wearing the clothes, and that's it.

Some guy here actually wrote, "I call bullshit," and proceeded to explain that nearly all women are obsessed with clothes, etc., etc.

I'm still stunned by this. He didn't know me, had no idea how I dress, could identify no possible motive for me to casually lie about such a trivial thing (anonymously, even!), and yet felt comfortable calling me a liar in a public forum. Wow.

The only way I can explain it is that there are people who don't actually look around them and learn anything about the world before they form their opinions. Maybe they have some emotional reason for wanting to believe a certain thing. And then once that belief is firmly lodged in their little heads, they're narcissistic enough to immediately dismiss any evidence to the contrary as simply a lie.

Just a guess. I don't really know what motivates that kind of behavior. But I do know that there's no real communication with someone like that, and no way for them to learn -- because they think they have it all figured out already and don't need to learn anything more.

Oh, shut the fuck up, you moron! ;)

Ron

I agree with you GayLayAle. It is human nature and it sucks. I can't stand it either.

Much love to you. I, personally, love everything you post on Rfm even though I am a little nooblet on here. Sometimes it is good to vent and let things out that are bothering you. Thank goodness Rfm is here so we can do just that and help eachother out. :)

You had me at hello then called me a big fat fucking liar. So after that I had to judge you. Please forgive me.

I was thinking before I even opened this thread that I always love it when I see a post of your's.

Coming from a true mormon virgin, I don't think you sexualize your posts too much and, if you do, more power to you. I admire you. You give me hope.