Recovery Board  : RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In
Posted by: Rob ( )
Date: September 17, 2010 10:18AM

So I'm having some work done in my home and one of the contractors is a mormon. I was in the same YSA ward as him about 10 years ago. He says that I look familiar but he doesn't seem to remember where he knows me from.

If it were anyone else from school, or former place of employment or something I wouldn't have hesitated to tell him, but in this case I worry that if he remembers or I tell him it will effect our current business arrangement.

I don't know him well enough to know whether or not he'd even react or start questioning me, yet I still feel weird about withholding the information.

I wish I could erase my past, and I thought that I was about as recovered as I could be, so why is this stupid little situation bothering me?

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: PtLoma ( )
Date: September 17, 2010 10:21AM

If you have any reason to suspect that revealing your current religious status would sour the deal, or perhaps cause him to shortchange you, further discussion about your YSA connection would be a road best left untravelled. Or at least wait until the project is completed and paid for.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/17/2010 10:21AM by PtLoma.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: September 17, 2010 11:57AM

You know he won't like it if you say, "We were in the same mormon ward years ago before I left the church."

The above response would be normal and natural if you were talking about a bird watching club or a former school class. But the morg sets us up to feel ashamed about admitting that we've left a cultish church. We tend to think we're being confrontational when we respond to church activity questions normally.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: SusieQ#1 ( )
Date: September 17, 2010 12:02PM

You can keep your business relationship strictly business like.
If something comes up, you can dismiss it as "that was then, this is now" and not go into any details, but stick to the work to be done and deal with that only.
You're OK. You are under no obligation to share your past with anyone.

Options: ReplyQuote
Posted by: awakening34 ( )
Date: September 17, 2010 12:14PM

My guess - it's bothering you because not telling him how he knows you is, technically, a lie of omission. It bothers you because you're an honest person.

However, you probably also recognize that opening that can of worms will most likely lead to more drama than is called for in this situation - so the omission is warranted, imho. You don't owe everyone you meet an explanation, especially if it's likely to make your own life more difficult.

Options: ReplyQuote
Go to Topic: PreviousNext
Go to: Forum ListMessage ListNew TopicSearchLog In

Screen Name: 
Your Email (optional): 
Spam prevention:
Please, enter the code that you see below in the input field. This is for blocking bots that try to post this form automatically.
 **     **  ********   *******   ********   **    ** 
 ***   ***  **        **     **  **     **   **  **  
 **** ****  **               **  **     **    ****   
 ** *** **  ******     *******   **     **     **    
 **     **  **               **  **     **     **    
 **     **  **        **     **  **     **     **    
 **     **  ********   *******   ********      **