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Posted by: nomomomo ( )
Date: August 03, 2012 10:32AM

So, my ex and his boyfriend moved in here a month ago. They finally clued in that this was not a good thing, and took their basic stuff and went to stay somewhere else till we left.

So, we are on the eve of leaving, well, next week on tues.

So, I have told them that the boyfriend is not to come near us or I will call the cops. But all of his stuff is in my house. I mean, his food in my kitchen, pans and et.

His furniture, living room and a kitchen table and chairs, in my living room. Then he has their bedroom in the basement with a bed, and clothes, etc.

Then in the garage. Well, they put all his stuff in their and buried my stuff so that I can not physically get to it and be able to sell it for a garage sale.

My ex only asked for a few specific things, which I have no issue with. But, what should I do with this other guys stuff. He has no legal rights to be here until we are gone, and only by virtue that I don't give a shit.

What can I do with it legally? Not that I am going to do anything, but just wondering what I could do. I may leave it outside since we will have to move it out of the garage to get to the other stuff, is that ok? I physically can't move it myself. Oh, and I am in Utah if that helps.

I am sooooo freakin excited to get the fuck out of this fucking state and away from this life!!!!! I will miss those who really care though, but I'll be back someday too. This will be so much better for my kid to get away from dad for awhile.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: August 03, 2012 10:54AM

You and your husband own the house jointly, am I correct? What are your plans for selling it? The easiest thing to do might be to arrange a move-out time with the boyfriend, perhaps through your lawyer. Otherwise, his things could be problematic in terms of getting your house ready for the sale.

Otherwise, move the boyfriend's things out of the garage. Get your things out. Move the BF's things back in. Put everything else of his (furniture, pots, pans, canned food, etc.) that you possibly can into the garage. Hold your yard sale over the weekend.

Grocery stores, copy centers, and the state liquor store would all be good possible sources for boxes to pack things into.

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Posted by: NotNow ( )
Date: August 03, 2012 11:09AM

I'm pretty sure that you shouldn't do anything before sending him a registered letter giving him a reasonable time to retrieve his belongings. The form for a registered letter has a space you can check which requires that he personally receive the letter and sign for it. Then, the receipt will be sent back to you. If you do anything without some kind of officially signed and dated notice, it could potentially cause problems for you.

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Posted by: ThinkingOutLoud ( )
Date: August 03, 2012 11:22AM

Tough call. To put it all outside and leave it unprotected/abandoned is technically a form of eviction, and while they may not have been living there lately, they did once do so with your permission or invitation.

No lease is not the issue here; you may have orally given them a lease by promising them and/or their stuff a place to stay.

Illegal eviction with no notice, and then your not properly securing goods you made an oral promise to protect or store in their absence, could be a problem for you.

Can you send a written notice via certified mail to his current or last known address (not registered mail, just certified for a couple bucks showing it did get hand delivered to that address, not that they signed for and received it)?

State that the items have been held for more than 30 days as required, without being picked up. Arrange a date for them to be picked up; tell him you will not charge him storage fees for abandoning the home and items in it, for the time you already held it for him.

Just hand write it legibly and send to last known address. Or, alternately, state in the letter that you are handing the items (and list them) over to named friend X, at X address, on such and such a date for safekeeping, and that he must now go get them from friend X.

Works in the real world of landlording, when people abandon goods, apartments and just stop paying rent on me. I of course always followed up by suing for back rent, damages and storage fees at the local magistrate's office by filing under landlord-tenant act procedures. Whether we had an oral or a written lease in place never mattered one bit. If they abandon stuff, I am required to securely store it intact for them to come pick up for a certain period of time, and am entitled to storage and other fees for holding on to it for them until that happens.

But after 30 days (in some places 60 or 90 days) I no longer have to do so; I just have to tell them what they owe me for time stored, where and when they can pick it up/or where it will be on such and such a date for them to go get it before it is disposed of.

Should work for you. Check into it locally, to see if it is 30 days or longer that you have to save the stuff. Google landlord tenant and your city name, or legal aid landlord tenant info.

Note that I am not an attorney, just a SAHM and longtime landlord with a lot of experience/time spent in magistrate's courts collecting damages from tenants, on behalf of myself and/or my former employer.

If you are already using an attorney for anything else, run this plan plast them first.

Good luck.

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Posted by: The Oncoming Storm - bc ( )
Date: August 03, 2012 11:23AM

Probably coordinate this through your lawyers would be my guess.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/03/2012 11:23AM by bc.

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Posted by: nomomomo ( )
Date: August 03, 2012 05:18PM

It's not my ex's stuff, it's his boyfriends stuff and I NEVER gave him permission to live here nor empty his storage into my garage and home.

I'm not selling the house, he will have to take care of that. I'm not touching anything that is my ex's, I know that. But this guy just moved it in with my ex without my permission. There wasn't anything I could do about it. I should not have to move it at all. They knew I was needing to sell everything yet buried it all under his stuff. He had it in a storage and it should have stayed there until we left. He did just leave here, I got no explanation or anything. He has no legal right here. I did not invite him.

If i move it i will leave it where I move it. I'm disabled and I should not have to deal with all his crap. Kids moved stuff for me today, so if anything got messed up there isn't much I can do about it. He had ample opportunity to come get it and didn't, and now I won't let them until we are gone.

I found out today that we have equity in our home, so I am going to make them buy me out or make it sell. I don't know the legal ramifications, but I will fight it.

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Posted by: Whiskey_Tango ( )
Date: August 03, 2012 05:40PM

I would send the owner of the property a registered letter giving a specific date to remove the property (with sufficient time for both you and the owner of the property to make arrangements) and make sure you are there with a police officer to "keep the peace". If he does not appear I would still safeguard the belongings out of your way until everything is final and it is addressed by your attorney.

DO NOT DISPOSE OF IT without permission from a court or written permission from the owner. It will come back to haunt you if you do...

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Posted by: nomomomo ( )
Date: August 03, 2012 11:08PM

Thanks Whiskey Tango. That was what I was looking for. Then I'll just leave it. I don't have the energy to move it. There have been a couple accidents though moving around it, and a very angry son.

Chill out you other guys. Should I start judging every post you all post? It's not like anyone is forcing you all to read it.

This board has gotten really cranky, more so than several years ago when I first found it. I wonder why it has changed....

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: August 04, 2012 12:33AM

from people not qualified to give it. I'm one of those. I don't know your state law, I'm not licensed in your state. Your attorney or legal assistant could *easily* answer this question, most likely by email.

I'm not cranky; I'm simply frustrated that you have the tools you need IRL to answer these questions, and yet you refuse to use them.

In the end, no one here is going to be in a bad spot (unless they are practicing law without a license), but you.

Venting is good. Seeking legal advice from an online religious recovery forum isn't.

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Posted by: Stray Mutt ( )
Date: August 03, 2012 05:55PM

Dear Ex's Boyfriend:

Have all your sh!t out of here by __________ or the very next day it will be hauled away by a charitable organization.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/03/2012 06:16PM by Stray Mutt.

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Posted by: Mnemonic ( )
Date: August 03, 2012 06:02PM

You could start by asking him if he wants it. If not then give it to charity. If he does, since you don't want him on the property, then tell him to hire some movers and make arrangements for them to come box up his stuff and take it to him.

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Posted by: Beth ( )
Date: August 03, 2012 06:17PM

You're going to end up getting yourself in a bad situation.

Don't you have a lawyer now?

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Posted by: WinksWinks ( )
Date: August 03, 2012 06:43PM

+1 indeed. Actually this place is far kinder and gentler than ever. Amusing.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/03/2012 11:15PM by WinksWinks.

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Posted by: anagrammy ( )
Date: August 04, 2012 01:15AM

That's what I call them when even their first check doesn't clear.

When I arrived with my children to move back into my own home, THEY WERE THERE! Without having paid a dime--and they had rifles lined up against the wall--and ordered me to leave.

I went straight to the police who said it was a civil matter.

Now mind you I have four children with me that have nowhere to sleep and I have no money for attorneys and weeks of waiting. It is fall in Cache Valley. This was my solution and it can be yours too.

I called on my two teenage sons and two adult sons to meet me at the property for a blitz move-out of all their stuff. I paid the first month's rent on a storage unit and the boys and I put all their stuff in it. I dropped the key off at the police station, then bought some bed and moved back into my own house. The police showed up and I said, "What tenants?" Show me a canceled check. The policeman said "You moved their stuff out?" I answered, "I moved somebody's stuff out really carefully--can't say who's it was since I never saw a rent check."

The police told them they had nothing to complain about and then said, "Aren't you that family that ran that sheep's wool scam last year?"

The gall. These people had actually sublet MY basement to another family who showed up later that night. They didn't even know who I was (but I could tell them where there stuff was).

I saved myself a bundle. I have had to do this twice (much simpler circumstances the second time). I just couldn't leave the state with anything in the garage or I would not get my money back from the landlord, so it was worth it to me to pay the $75 to move my ex-husband's stuff out and get back my deposit.

Best of luck


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Posted by: nomomomo ( )
Date: August 05, 2012 12:29PM

Thanks anagrammy. I am getting ready to leave at this point, so I'm just gonna leave the house and whatever is in it. I had some dear TBM friends bring over 9 kids the other day and get stuff out while moving around and behind it.

There are a few good ones out there. Plus all my neighbors, the ones who didn't give a rats ass if I was LDS or not came and helped and stuff. Still being vague, but thanks for the advice.

Just hoping I can get out of here without anything else going down. Found out there is equity in my house, so we are going to sell it. Won't sign for him to do it.

Thanks for the actual advice guys.

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Posted by: anagrammy ( )
Date: August 05, 2012 12:39PM


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