They make me terribly anxious. I've been frantically cleaning. This place is a perpetual construction zone so it gets pretty DIRTY. :B

I get so nervous because I know they think poorly of me.
And they always comment on my weight. Bleh! I will always hear inside my head, "You were so fat I had to comment on the difference!" No matter how complimentary they are.

I am just a horribly twitchy person and can't sleep, although I have to get up at 445, so I should try to be asleep.

Zzz.....

I've got a new fun game on my phone, Radiant Defense. I'm a huge Desktop Defender fan, and usually tower defense games aren't enough like it for my taste, but this one is sort of close.
And shiny.


I did say something about incoming mormons, right? So I'm on topic.

My whole family, mom, dad, sister and bil and kids. I'm 34, no kids, she's 32 w/4 kids, youngest is maybe three months.
They moved from Virginia when she was 9 months, and she had the baby 2 weeks after they got here, I think. I don't know what they do for money, bil just finished grad school, or whatever 10 or 12 years of school gets you in the mental health field.

I'm going to spoil the kids with presents, and I have so much cleaning to do still!
5.5 year old gets a real tool kit. 7.5 y gets a shovel and gloves. 3 y gets boots with dinosaur toes and gloves. Newborn gets nothing, cuz he won't care. :D
And banana bread to bake tomorrow!

They show up Saturday.
I've got my eye on my mom, she can almost be counted on to say something mean.
"Well, if you can't live the standards... Better out than in.". I guess I left to sin?
I can't even drink alcohol and coffee anymore cuz my kidneys are shot. Some exmo!

I shall return and report. With another days worth of nerves, and hopefully some TBM drama.

I've minimized such visits, to manage the stress that it brings. Or try to keep them shorter than you might normally, if it helps.

Generally, I now try to meet them offsite (not at my place or theirs--usually at a restaurant). It's just more of a neutral place where they won't make a scene and I won't be stressed more than I can handle.

Good luck, and try not to worry about what they think of you. Almost all the TBMs in my family are really chubby and I'm the slim one. But yet they are still trying to call me out on my lack of righteousness etc. Be yourself and be proud!

Yeah, I'm good for two or three visits a year, tops.
If we weren't rebuilding this house, and wanting to show off our progress, I'd say very good idea.

I know they think they are more righteous because they can pass their temple recommend interview... But they support a bigoted, discriminating organization, so deep down I know I'm more "righteous" than they are. More christian, anyways, even if I don't believe. I love many many more of our fellow men than they do. (In hindsight there's an amusing double entendre there... :P)

Good grief. Why get this worked up over family visiting?

Tell them to stay at a hotel.

that's what I did. We'll see how it goes when they get here.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/10/2012 05:45AM by lulu.

It's a day trip, they'll be gone by the evening.

That's a lot of visitors! You're like me, I do my best cleaning when I'm expecting company. Sometimes I think that I should invite people over more often, lol.

Perhaps you can prepare some mildly snarky comments for your mom in anticipation of her remarks.

Yup, guests make my house look nicer! I'm sort of looking forward to moving back to the suburbs some day. I'd like to keep house like my friend, she always seems ready for company.

Spike mom's punch a little and knock her out cold. No more snarkiness from that direction! LOL!

Simply having the alcohol out and standing near it is a pretty good defense. Like garlic to a vampire. :D

PLUMBING! YOU ROCK!

Well the supply side, yes. But I've just given up on tying 7 vents together. I could probably work out the drains, since they're mostly in place, but the vents pissed me off so much I told the hubster to call in a plumber.

"Yeah Mom, I just really needed to be able to be a loving and supportive person to those in my life. I just couldn't live the judgementalism and criticism. I'll leave that to religious people."

I wish I was better at thinking on my feet. I come up with all the best replies much later. I've resorted to looking at her like an alien, usually.

Oh, the one time she told me reverse psychology works on my dad and I should try it to get my way with the hubs, I told her, "That's manipulative and wrong!" And stepped away from her like she caught a case of the cooties.
She came after me explaining that she only does it for things she doesn't care much about, leaving me to wonder why she does it at all if she doesn't care too much about getting her way?

I like honest communication!

Haha! I bet it would. :)
This visit is supposed to be about my sister and her kids, and with four little kiddos I am confident that mom will be too busy to snark very MUCH at me, but she usually manages to get in a jab or two. I think I could really like the rest of my family if she wasn't so busy poisoning them against me.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/10/2012 09:16AM by WinksWinks.

Winksies ... I hate to admit it but I have experienced that kind of anxiety readying a house and worrying. Sigh. They better appreciate your efforts!!!!

Haha, they won't. Kid told me, "Your house is dirty!" last time they visited. If I get any of that this time, I'll give in to the husband who thinks we shouldn't bother cleaning. And no more presents either.

Good thing is, I know how to feed a crowd! At every get together I've been to in my mormon family, they are so cheap with the food. Fish sticks are a "traditional" thing for them. Disgusting! I thought so as a child too, but I was always hungry, so I ate them. You know somebody splurged when there's a plate of cold cuts. Geez, my grandma on this side knew how to lay on a spread, I don't know what happened with my parents and their siblings.

I'm serving steaks, kebabs on the grill, fruit, banana bread and banana coconut popsicles, cheese, crackers, veggies, dips, and then there's the adult beverages, and root beer floats.

until right before they leave. If the kids have behaved and not been little shites, then they get them. If not, they don't!

Tell them you were made fat when you were a mormon

If I hadn't left over half my life ago at my skinniest, that might fly. I recently had surgery on my thyroid and five years ago discovered I am gluten intolerant. Getting these things straightened out is what has made the difference.